Where Women Are Oppressed….

Below are three extracts for an article in one of the Sunday papers:

“More than two thirds of the billion people surviving on less than a dollar a day are female”

“Research by investment bank, Goldman Sachs found that women tend to invest their income in their children’s health, education and clothing. Men, the bank found, usually preferred to spend it on themselves, buying cigarettes, alcohol or what it delicately terms ‘female companionship’.”

“More female workers could even help head off the pensions crisis and the problems of an ageing population.”

The article is written by journalist Ruth Sunderland, in The Observer newspaper, and you can read it in it s entirety here. It will make you think…

Market Research!

It’s funny how ideas come at the strangest moments, isn’t it? I met up with a good friend and colleague last week but for various reasons we hadn’t actually seen each other properly for some time. We settled ourselves for a good long discussion about work, life, the universe and anything else that cropped up.

We go back a long way. Debbie and I were child care social workers many moons ago and both of us are now self employed, albeit in differing roles. Debbie reminded me of something I had said to her when she had an important court appearance which was creating huge amounts of stress for her, as child care proceedings always do. I said to her-

” Just remember that every member of the bench was sitting on the loo this morning and they are actually only humans.”

A Course is Born!

I had forgotten saying it but she hadn’t. And so we got to talking about our early experiences of appearing in court, being cross examined, and how our confidence had grown to the point where we were able to totally focus on the matter on the hand, and not on whether we’d fall out of the witness box (yes, I once did that!)

And suddenly the idea for a course to inspire confidence in court was born! There are plenty of courses which explain procedure, the make up of the court, practising cross examination etc (and very good most of them are too) but we are planning something different. Debbie still works in the legal system as an expert witness (among other things) and I coach and train people to be more confident and assertive (among other things)! A perfect combination!

Market Research

And so I need your help please! If you know any professionals who need to be confident in court, possibly those who don’t attend on a regular basis, could you please forward them this post and ask them to get in touch via my contact page. I will then email them a few questions, only a few, I promise!

And if you have any thoughts or suggestions please feel free to comment on this post.

Share Your Gifts!

Late last summer I was walking with a friend in the lanes near my home when we happened upon one of our favourite gardens; a genuine Mr McGregor vegetable patch of beautiful, orderly rows of vegetables with companion planting and an elderly gentleman leaning on his hoe surveying his work. It wouldn’t have surprised either of us if Peter Rabbit had scurried out and made off with a lettuce while we watched!

We chatted with the gentleman who told us he and his family had owned the land and adjoining cottage for several generations and then invited us to see his flower garden.  It was glorious, a text book cottage garden with a green house full of geraniums so amazing that the Royal Horticultural Society had been to photograph them!

Elderflower

His wife joined us in the garden, introductions were made, and she offered us a chilled glass of her home made elderflower cordial. As we complimented her on it, she then offered the recipe with the extra advice that we should pick the flowers heads when the sun had been shining on them as they released most flavour then.

Pass on Your Gifts

This Sunday afternoon I have been making my own elderflower cordial and have been thinking of her and her husband and their generosity and kindness to strangers. And it made me reflect, what can I pass this on during this week ahead? What small thing, advice, or piece of knowledge could you share with work colleagues, friends, family or,  if the occasion presents itself, complete strangers? And with us, maybe, via the comments section? I look forward to hearing from you!

How to Tell Your Story (2)

A Coaching Exercise

In the previous post I described how we edit our own lives. Sometimes, without us being conscious of it we have given negative events a much bigger role in our past than they deserve; we have allowed them to become powerful influencers of our current lives.

Try This

This is an exercise I have used when coaching with all age groups, initially with young children who had been part of the care system, but I have found it’s just as helpful for adults.

Take a large sheet of paper and some pens. Start with your earliest memory and draw a box for every significant event in your life. Write the event in the box.

Your Memories

For example, I have a very vivid memory of my brother being born at home (well, it was January and a neighbour sent me to play in the garden – I was cold!) It was a significant life event because I stopped being an only child at age 4 and a half.

Other examples of significant events in my life include leaving home to go to University, my first plane trip to the US, my first experience of loss. The older you are the longer your list will be!

At this stage don’t worry about whether events are good or bad, just collect them. You may have several on the page and need more paper. Keep them in date order but wind about the page at will. It will take you some time.

Some years you may have several boxes of significance, and some will be relatively incident free.

After you’ve done this part of the exercise leave it for a while, hours or days; go off and do something else. When you return to it, look at it again with fresh eyes and check you’ve not left anything out.

Pause a While

Now you have your life in front of you, or specifically your memory of your life. These are some of the building blocks of your life (some you won’t have remembered.)

Using the data you have collected try writing down a few paragraphs about yourself for use in the following circumstances. In all cases you must focus only on the positives.

Three Scenarios

1) You are at a networking event and meet someone who you think could become a really good friend. They are bright and bubbly, and in the course of conversation they ask you to tell them about yourself, your life. You say…..

2) You have been for an interview for a senior post and are at the ‘trial by sherry’ stage. A senior member of the board says you seem to be really strong personality (which is what they are looking for). She asks you where your resolve to succeed came from. You say….

3) You meet an old friend you haven’t seen for over ten years. They ask you what you’ve been up to for last ten years. Remembering you are focussing only on positives, you say….

This exercise is not about  putting on a false face, a mask, but being conscious of the image you choose to present to the world. We all edit our past- just make sure your good bits haven’t ended up on the cutting room floor!

Mind The Gap!

The gender pay gap is still very much in evidence as this article shows. 16.4%.

It was ever thus.

2010!

Hogmanay

Having a Scottish father (and now a Scottish husband) Hogmanay, or New Year’s Eve, has always been a significant time in my life. Apart from when a tiny baby I cannot remember a time when I haven’t stayed up to see the new year in, and tonight will be no different.

In our household it was always a time of great celebration and partying with family, more so than Christmas. However, as a child I couldn’t understand why, when what was a clearly a fun time, would often be tinged with sadness as glasses were rasied to ‘absent friends’ at midnight.

Honouring the Past

It was only as I grew older that I began to appreciate this honouring of the past year and what had gone before; I still do it myself (and yes, I still have to wipe away a wee tear-it’s a family tradition! My Mum calls it ‘piping your eye!))

But  I also take time out to think about the year past in a positive light (Pollyanna is never far away!) and I hope you can find a little time to do the same. Whether the past year has been great, or not so great for you, it’s part of you and you will have grown and developed professionally and personally throughout it.

Reflect

What have you learned about yourself this year? What new skills have you acquired at work or at home, at leisure? Maybe a difficult economic climate has caused you to dig deep into your reserves and discover strengths you never knew you had? Maybe you have seen new qualities in your friends, in yourself? Perhaps you read something that touched you in a significant way or added to your knowledge? Maybe you started a new job or qualification?

Take time out to reflect on all the positives of 2009 and take that with you into 2010. Leave behind any old hurts where they belong- a new year is beginning with fresh opportunities for you!

Whatever success means to you – family, wealth, career, health, and happiness, go for it in 2010! Grab the new year with both hands, take the opportunities that present themselves and be the best you can!

Happy New Year!