Happy in Your Work?

When did you last have a really good day at work?

When you came home and felt that was a day well spent?

When you were filled with a huge sense of achievement?

When you thought ‘job well done’ and other people acknowledged your efforts?

I hope you can remember this easily and it will have been recently. But if not, try and think back to what when it last happened and how you felt it about it.  Your thoughts on this subject will give you a big clue about where you should be looking for that next job.

Team Work?

If it included working as a team, maybe that’s when you perform best. Or maybe you were given a project to see through to completion making full use of all your completer/finisher and organisational skills? Perhaps you had to take a few risks and learn something new? Or maybe you were flying high working in an area that feels really comfortable to you?

It’s all really vital information in helping your longer term planning about positioning yourself where you want to be!

And if you’re still  feeling really stuck there are plenty of practical exercises in ‘When Work Isn’t Working’ which could really help move you on to finding the job that is a dream for you!

How to Tell Your Story (2)

A Coaching Exercise

In the previous post I described how we edit our own lives. Sometimes, without us being conscious of it we have given negative events a much bigger role in our past than they deserve; we have allowed them to become powerful influencers of our current lives.

Try This

This is an exercise I have used when coaching with all age groups, initially with young children who had been part of the care system, but I have found it’s just as helpful for adults.

Take a large sheet of paper and some pens. Start with your earliest memory and draw a box for every significant event in your life. Write the event in the box.

Your Memories

For example, I have a very vivid memory of my brother being born at home (well, it was January and a neighbour sent me to play in the garden – I was cold!) It was a significant life event because I stopped being an only child at age 4 and a half.

Other examples of significant events in my life include leaving home to go to University, my first plane trip to the US, my first experience of loss. The older you are the longer your list will be!

At this stage don’t worry about whether events are good or bad, just collect them. You may have several on the page and need more paper. Keep them in date order but wind about the page at will. It will take you some time.

Some years you may have several boxes of significance, and some will be relatively incident free.

After you’ve done this part of the exercise leave it for a while, hours or days; go off and do something else. When you return to it, look at it again with fresh eyes and check you’ve not left anything out.

Pause a While

Now you have your life in front of you, or specifically your memory of your life. These are some of the building blocks of your life (some you won’t have remembered.)

Using the data you have collected try writing down a few paragraphs about yourself for use in the following circumstances. In all cases you must focus only on the positives.

Three Scenarios

1) You are at a networking event and meet someone who you think could become a really good friend. They are bright and bubbly, and in the course of conversation they ask you to tell them about yourself, your life. You say…..

2) You have been for an interview for a senior post and are at the ‘trial by sherry’ stage. A senior member of the board says you seem to be really strong personality (which is what they are looking for). She asks you where your resolve to succeed came from. You say….

3) You meet an old friend you haven’t seen for over ten years. They ask you what you’ve been up to for last ten years. Remembering you are focussing only on positives, you say….

This exercise is not about  putting on a false face, a mask, but being conscious of the image you choose to present to the world. We all edit our past- just make sure your good bits haven’t ended up on the cutting room floor!

Men in Touch with Their Feminine Side?

Although I write primarily for women I actually do have quite a few male readers and subscribers, which is great.

However, when it comes to careers and work, men are usually much more adversarial and risk taking in their approach (according to the research!). Women will often wait until they know their current job inside out before applying for the next step up.

Book

So when I wrote my book on finding your dream job (even if the dream was not to have a ‘proper’ job) I aimed it primarily at women, and their responses have been overwhelmingly positive.

However, on checking the statistics of the downloadable version of the book, I find that at least 20% of the sales are from men. In some ways this is surprising as it isn’t a book focussed on getting ahead, but on finding a job that works for you, a job that sits well with your value base, and that you enjoy going to each day – when work really isn’t working but something you actually enjoy!

Softer Side

Of course, it is possible they may just be buying it for their partners, but I like to think they are looking beyond the traditional gender barriers and getting in touch with their softer side!

If you’d like to download yourself a copy, click here.

Tap Into Happiness

If you find yourself feeling a little low here’s an exercise you might want to try to make you feel HAPPIER.

Find a photo of yourself from a time when you were really happy.

Take a few moments to just sit and stare at it; immerse yourself in those happy memories. Try and allow all the sights, sounds, and scents from the occasion to flood in. Really take yourself back to the moment.

As you do this there are actually some physiological changes taking place which will be making you feel a little better.

Dwell in the moment a little longer, then pop the photo somewhere like your desk drawer or inside your diary. (I find the effect fades if I’m too profligate and look too often, but a peek now and again works wonders!)

The more observant among you may have noticed that the photo bears a resemblance to me. It was taken on my 50th birthday when I was surrounded by family and friends and having an amazing time. My brother took it and captioned it ‘pure joy’. He was right. Looking at it always makes me smile, and now I always wear a (toy) tiara on birthdays!

When was your last ‘pure joy’ moment!

Time for Some Pruning?

I spent the week end hacking away at some old bushes that had got out of control in my garden.

For a moment I felt a little pang of regret that I was removing something so determined to grow. But than I imagined all I was going to be able to grow in its place.

The plants were taking up the sunniest spot in my garden and had grown to an enormous size, almost unnoticed by me and were now blocking out the sun. They had to go. And as I pulled away the twigs and leaves there beneath was a little primrose struggling to emerge into the sun!

In place of the woody spreading shrubs I plan to have gorgeous flowers and tasty vegetables that will give me lots more satisfaction and reward than my overgrown shrubs.

Pruning Can Be Good for You!

Sometimes we need to do a little judicious pruning in our lives to make way for the good stuff.

When did you last cut away some dead wood and make way for some new and exciting things in your life?

Plan to Worry

Here’s a quick tip if you find yourself worrying too much about something.

Don’t try and ignore what’s worrying you but, if you can’t immediately do something about it, give yourself a worry time. Decide that at a certain time you will spend some time giving the worry your full attention.

Put it in your diary and then when one o’clock, or whatever time you choose comes, sit down and think about it for your allotted time.

You’ll come back to the issue refreshed and may even get a much better solution!

How do you cope with your worries?