Day Dreaming Can Be Good for You!

Highly Effective People Day Dream

Stephen Covey, in his book, ‘The Habits of Highly Effective People’ (still available through Amazon) said start with the end in mind. So, taking that principle, spend a few minutes now allowing your mind to take you ahead a few weeks. What are you hoping to have achieved? Work wise what do you need to have finished? At home are their things that you really need to have done? Just close your eyes for a minute and think about it.

If you feel panic rising tell yourself to stop. Allow your shoulders to relax. You may have started clamping your jaw, for example. Try and relax. Be aware of your breathing. If you are getting tense thinking about all you have to do, that’s a powerful message. All we’re doing is an imagination exercise yet it’s possible that just thinking about the things you need to do is having an actual physical effect on you! Imagine how will you feel by the end of the year if you don’t begin to relax a little now.

Get Ready

Now you have spent a little time thinking ahead let’s get practical. The following is something I find useful to do for all sorts of things, work, projects, holidays, parties. You can refine it to your heart’s content; this is the simple version:

1. Take two different coloured packs of post it type notes

2. Choose one colour for things that give you are happy to do, one for things that must be done (and don’t fill you with joy).

3. Start writing out your tasks and be specific. For example, don’t just write ‘buy presents’ but write a note for each person you have to consider. Some people it will be a pleasurable task to buy for, others not!

4. I mix work and pleasure tasks as I am self employed and my time is mine to arrange. You may choose to have two sets of task lists and do this separately for work; it depends on your preference. Make it work for you.

5. Put a ‘do by’ date on each one.

6. Distinguish between what’s important and what is urgent and what are both. Important might be getting that report out in time to be read before the holidays but you still have three weeks so it’s not yet urgent. Urgent could be getting your request in for what you want to eat at the office party this Friday, but it’s not that important!

7. Now, with all your lovely colourful notes, stick them where you can see them in date order, so that the earliest date is on top. Put them so they slightly overlap but are visible, maybe on a filing cabinet, maybe on the fridge, but where you can see them.

8. One reason they need to be visible is that thoughts about them will come to you at odd moments and you can add to them i.e. you get a brilliant idea and think ‘I will buy Aunt Gladys a leopard print purse!’ Add it to that post it note.

9. As you tackle each task take the note down. I put the sticky on my diary page for the day and gleefully throw it away when done.

10. A beneficial side effect is that it can help stop you over committing yourself. It’s a very visual reminder of what you have to do, to yourself and anyone else passing, and may help you say no now and again.

Take a look at your notes. Do you have a good mix of colours or does one predominate? Are all your notes in the pleasure zone? Lucky you if they are! More likely you have a plethora of jobs that must be done. If you have all jobs that leave you cold it’s time for a rethink. (If this is the usual pattern i.e. all jobs you dislike, then the New Year should see some serious thinking from you about your work life balance and whether you are living the life you want).
 
If you do have a list of ‘not thrilling’ jobs ahead try and put in some things that will please you, will give you energy, as these will help you manage your stress levels and enable you to do the tedious tasks more efficiently. Can you make a less attractive task more so by doing it with a friend or colleague? Can you turn it into an opportunity to showcase your talents to someone who matters? Is it a personal development opportunity for you? If you can’t change the task, then try and change your attitude towards it.

Tips on Positive Thinking

How to be positive- a reminder

To turn something negative into a positive there are a few easy rules:

1) Put it into the present. ‘I am going to be good with money ’is not a positive sentence and it won’t work but ‘I, Sita, am good at managing money’, or ‘I, Linda, make sound financial decisions’ is much more likely to be effective.

2) Make sure it begins with ‘I’ and if you can also get your name in it can further reinforce it.  For example, ‘I, Mary, am comfortable around people I don’t know’

3) Make it truthful. For example, if you are trying to lose weight and you tell yourself that you are slim, and you’re not (yet), your inner voice will be saying ‘Oh yeah and who are you trying to kid?’ A more effective one would be, ‘I, Anju, eat healthy foods’.

4) Phrase it positively; ’I am no longer frightened of heights’ does not work as well as ‘I, Sue, am comfortable with heights’

5) To be effective positive phrases need repetition, quietly to your self several times a day- a good reason why it’s best to write them yourself. It has to be something that you are comfortable saying, otherwise it just feels false and silly. Some people find it helpful to write them down as well. Maybe you could try saying it to the mirror as you brush your teeth every morning and evening.

Work on a positive saying now and quietly repeat it to yourself several times a day. For example, it might be one about boosting your confidence to make a particularly difficult presentation. Tell yourself that you are good at making presentations and see what happens. I can guarantee that if you keep telling yourself you are rubbish at presentations then that will work! You’ll be hopeless. But the positive side is that the reverse is true. So why not give it a go! You have nothing to lose and lots to gain! Go for it and do let me know how you get on!

Give Your Creativity a Quick Boost

Try this very simple exercise next time you find yourself stumped by something.

1) Go to a stationers and buy a beautiful set of coloured crayons. Get the best that you can afford and choose ones that feel good to hold.

2) Next find a mug that you particularly like ,or that has special meaning for you, and pour all your gorgeous multi-coloured pencils into it. You now have a bouquet of colour on your desk. Enjoy it!

3) Next time you feel ‘stuck’ stop trying to solve your problem. Have a glass of water, take a coloured pencil or three and simply doodle on a plain sheet of paper. Try and ‘draw’ whatever your dilemma is. Don’t use any words at all, just doodle. It’s only for your eyes so don’t let any old ideas about not being able to draw spoil this. Just doodle away.

4) Now walk away from your desk or table for at least ten minutes and get some fresh air, particularly if your working environment is air conditioned.

5) Return to your issue and try again.

This simple exercise will help you tap into your subconscious by accessing your creative ‘right’ brain.  You could even just use different coloured pencils to make entries into your diary, when taking phone messages etc. If nothing else it will brighten up your working space but it’ll probably do a whole lot more!

A Short Creative Visualisation

A visualisation is thinking in pictures instead of words; to see ‘in your mind’s eye’. Combined with relaxation it can help you access parts of the brain you don’t usually use so can be really useful when you are trying to think differently, explore a problem, or simply relax and let the stresses of the day melt away. But remember that you are always in control. If thoughts come into your mind that make you sad or unhappy just let them go and focus on something positive. This is designed to be a good experience for you to help you begin to think differently.

Find a comfortable place to lie or sit down. Make sure you are well supported either in your chair or on the floor. Use a cushion if necessary. Don’t worry about any noises, yours or external ones. The aim is to go into your own space. Move your position if you need to and don’t do anything that doesn’t feel right for you.

Once you have read this a few times try it with your eyes closed. This slows the brain waves and removes all visual distractions. Give your body a silent instruction to RELAX

Notice your breathing. Just being aware of how we are breathing can change it. If you have any breathing problems then just breathe in a way that is comfortable for you. It is important not to feel stressed in any way. Notice the timing and depth of your breathing.

On the next convenient out breathe breath out a bit extra, perhaps 3 counts longer than normal. This will cause you to breathe in more deeply and naturally enhance your breathing. You don’t want to hyperventilate. Breathe normally for a couple of breaths, noticing how you are breathing. RELAX

Relax any tension that has accumulated in your shoulders. Let that feeling of relaxation flow down your arms into your fingertips. Feel it flowing along your trunk and into your legs making you feel relaxed and alert. RELAX

On the next out breath imagine all your old preconceived notions of how things are done flowing out of you, leaving you pure and unlimited in your thoughts. As you breathe out all the old notions are disappearing with your breath, dissolving into the atmosphere. You feel relaxed and open.

As you breathe in imagine that you are now open to all new vibrant, colourful thoughts and imaginings. In your mind’s eye see the breath travelling through your body, taking warmth and colour with it. You are filling up with a beautiful colour and energy that is filling you with inspiration and creativity. With each breathe you take in imagine it adding to your creativity and intuition until you have a beautiful fund of energy to draw on, in your hands, arms, trunk, legs and feet. You are full of a natural and positive radiance. RELAX

Bring your attention back to your breathing again. Notice how you are breathing. On the next appropriate out breath breathe out a little extra, causing your breathing to deepen naturally. Breathe normally for three breaths. (PAUSE)

Notice how relaxed yet full of energy your body feels. If you can, with eyes still closed, gently shrug your shoulders, rotate them and let them relax. Feel your feet on the floor. If you can, wiggle your toes within your shoes, feel the energy moving on up your legs, into your body and down your arms. Wiggle your fingers. You are now feeling alert and full of creative energy. In your own time, open your eyes and fix on something blue within the room. Stand and stretch if you wish and bring yourself fully back into the present.

Motivate Yourself!

Motivate Yourself to do well at work, whatever your job! If you find yourself operating below your best at work, lacking in motivation, it will gradually erode your confidence in your abilities and you can be sure someone will notice!

Here are just a few quick tips for getting the best out of any job. However trivial it may seem, if you regularly give of your best others will notice and you will reap the rewards of success! And being successful can become a really good habit you’ll want to keep!

Really absorb yourself in whatever you are doing.
Whatever it is you are doing, even if it’s just filing, become wholly focussed on it and do it really well. It matters to someone that it’s done properly so make it matter to you too.

Don’t keep complaining
It’s a waste of time to complain just for the sake of having a moan or trying to apportion blame. It makes you noticeable for the wrong reasons. Instead try and focus on what went wrong and come up with a solution. Even if your response isn’t acted on you’ll be seen as positive and helpful.

Find out what people think of your work
So often appraisals can end up putting a focus on what we’ve done wrong but we respond best by being given praise. In fact, it takes about seven pieces of positive praise to wipe out one negative comment. So accept people’s right to criticise your work but then ask what they think you do well and do more of that!

Adopt the adage ‘If a job worth’s doing it’s worth doing well’.
If you are really in a job you find unfulfilling and useless then make plans now to get out of it. But most jobs are there because someone needs it to be done. Even if you are working below your capabilities at the moment take a pride in what you do. Doing this well can open doors for you to move on to something better.

Be prepared to wait for the rewards
Once you’ve lifted your game and are performing at your peak you may have to wait a while for people to notice. It’s called deferred gratification, like saving up for something. The anticipation of what you will get at the end keeps you saving even when you want to overspend on a mad week end or new clothes. The end you have in sight keeps you motivated. So it is with work. Top performers know if its’ worth attaining it rarely comes easily!