Happy in Your Work?

When did you last have a really good day at work?

When you came home and felt that was a day well spent?

When you were filled with a huge sense of achievement?

When you thought ‘job well done’ and other people acknowledged your efforts?

I hope you can remember this easily and it will have been recently. But if not, try and think back to what when it last happened and how you felt it about it.  Your thoughts on this subject will give you a big clue about where you should be looking for that next job.

Team Work?

If it included working as a team, maybe that’s when you perform best. Or maybe you were given a project to see through to completion making full use of all your completer/finisher and organisational skills? Perhaps you had to take a few risks and learn something new? Or maybe you were flying high working in an area that feels really comfortable to you?

It’s all really vital information in helping your longer term planning about positioning yourself where you want to be!

And if you’re still  feeling really stuck there are plenty of practical exercises in ‘When Work Isn’t Working’ which could really help move you on to finding the job that is a dream for you!

Women on TV

A new report commissioned by Channel 4 to celebrate International Women’s day, shows that there is still a distinct gender bias when it comes to women on TV.

Femageism

If we needed any evidence that femageism is rife in the world of broadcasting this report provides it. On TV only one in 4 in every 10 women are aged over 40. And for every ten men on TV 6 will be aged 40 and over.

‘Soft’ Topics

The study, carried out by Dr Guy Cumberbatch of the Communications Research Group, also found that although women do appear to be well represented on TV across the spectrum, the way they are used is markedly different from the way men appear.

In light entertainment, comedy and drama women make up 4 in every ten participants. In the field of serious broadcasting, Dr Cumberbatch’s team found that women made up only a third in factual programmes. And when it comes to the news, we have only a 31% share!

However, when topics such as health, culture and cookery are covered on the news women feature 69% of the time. Men were much more likely to be discussing the topics of politics, science, international affairs and the economy. And women aren’t even asked to give their views! When it comes to general vox pops, women are asked for their opinions only a third as often as men.

Diversity

Oona King is Channel 4’s Head of Diversity (once again I ask the question-bearing in mind women actually make up slightly more than half the population -  should we still need to be included under the ‘diversity’ tag?) said:

” This pilot research measures the gap between what we see in the real world, and what we see on TV, and is the first step in developing a comprehensive measurement of how well TV represents and portrays different groups on screen. Fundamentally, this is about how we view our world and which groups are hidden from view or significantly under-represented. The gender gap here is quite startling.”

Sadly I am not startled at all. Maybe art is merely imitating life………….

Create Your Own Visualisation

There are several ways of using visualisations: the common denominator is that they should help you in some way.

I use them a lot in my courses and coaching, sometimes for relaxation, sometimes to help achieve goals, and sometimes to get into touch with your inner wisdom or intuition.

D.I.Y. Relaxation

Often when I’m coaching I’ll design a personal visualisation for my client for them to use as they wish but you can easily do your own!

First decide what you want it to do for you. If it’s to relax and unwind then think about what unwinds and relaxes you best. For example, the imagery of sea and beaches is often used but if all you feel is gritty sand in places you don’t want gritty sand (!) it definitely won’t relax you! You may prefer to be indoors in the lap of luxury, or you may choose a real place where you were relaxed and at peace, and conjure up the memory.

Achieve Your Ambition

If you want to use the visualisation as an aid to helping you achieve your dreams  you need to be specific and honest with yourself about what achieving that dream means.

If it’s rising to the top in your organisation then see yourself in that role. The more detail the better: see how you’re dressed, who is with you, what your office is like, etc. When you feel dispirited just take yourself there for a few moments.

Or if you are trying to change your body shape, lose weight or get fit, imagine yourself exactly how you want to look and being happy with your new body.

If you can create a realistic  and inspiring scenario you can tap into into when your motivation is lacking.  Just close your eyes and take yourself there. It gets easier the more you practise!

But remember all visualisations work best if you ease yourself into them and allow your breathing to slow and relax first (There are some instructions for that in this post)

Write It Down

I suggest you write it down and rework it until you are happy with it, and then record it, speaking slowly and calmly. If you don’t like the sound of your own voice then maybe ask a friend – you could do one for each other! Load it onto your MP3 player and you have your own ready made motivation class at hand!

If you have used visualisations do let me know how they work for you! And if you have something that works better, please share that too!

Persuasion

How to Persuade Others

Have you ever had a request from a charity for a donation accompanied by a small gift, like a pen or a address stickers? The answer is probably yes because the idea of reciprocity is a frequently used tool because it works so well. How to persuade people to do things is one of the most studied fields in psychology.

Give to Receive?

The principle of reciprocity is simple; give someone a gift before you attempt to persuade them to do something and they’re much more likely to ‘give’ you something back. Most people have a sense of fair play that makes them feel they should offer you something in return. As you read the request from the charity, holding the pen in your hand, even though you know what they are doing, you feel more compelled to give them something than if the request had arrived simply as a letter.

Ethical?

Written baldly like that it sounds to me decidedly dodgy and manipulative (as it often can when we start analysing how and why we behave the way we do).

But actually, we teach our children to do this from an early age when we encourage them to share their own toys so they can be allowed to play with the toys of their friends.It’s a form of socialising too.

And would it be ethical to continually try and persuade others to do what you want them to without offering anything in return? As I write this I realise (gulp) that in a way it is exactly what I am doing by writing this blog.

I freely share my knowledge and skills here and in the newsletter. In effect I guess it is a gift to you (even if you do put it on a par with that misshapen hand knitted jumper from Auntie Gladys who thinks you still like candy pink and fairies…)

Twitter

In return, people ReTweet me on Twitter, forward my links to colleagues, recommend me to friends etc, giving me a wider audience and a potential pool of women who may use my services one day or attend one of my courses. (Although to be totally honest I often get carried away by my love of writing and sharing knowledge and forget to put any links in to what I actually do! Fortunately I work with a great marketing expert or I would be permanently eating lentils!)

What do you think? Do you feel manipulated and tricked in some way when a free pen drops through your mailbox? Do you actually notice when this form of persuasion is happening? How do you persuade others- work or home? I would love to hear from you!

How to Tell Your Story

Have you ever thought about your life as a story?

You can tell your story in so many different ways. How you choose to tell it affects how you live your life.

Past Lives

All of us have had sad and difficult times in our lives. All of us have done things we wish we hadn’t. If we fill up our story with these episodes we feel hopeless, buffeted by life’s events, at the mercy of others. And that’s the face we show to the world.

Believing that bad things happen to us tends to become a self fulfilling prophesy. We fail to spot the good things in our lives and take the opportunities that arise.

Happy Endings

However, if you focus on the good that has happened in your life, the story looks very different, and can have a very different ending! It’s not simply a question of adding up the number on each side, because the value of each event is different. And unique to you.

In my next post I’ll give you an exercise to help you look at your story in a positive light. Meanwhile reflect on how you describe the story of your life so far! A sad soap or a feel good film!

Manage Yourself

It’s funny how themes seem to emerge when I’m coaching. Recently three different clients were experiencing very similar problems; a disinterested boss.

They weren’t being bullied, they loved their jobs, the pay was fine, the environment was fine. They simply had managers who took very little interest in what they did and in their development.

Survey

It’s not surprising it bothered them so much; a survey from Gallop revealed that having a manager who took an interest in, and regularly praised staff, was in the top ten factors for satisfaction with work.

My clients had partly solved their dilemma by investing in coaching (and one had persuaded her boss to pay, clever her!) but if that’s not an option what can you do?

Tips for Managing Yourself

You can’t rely on getting  a good manager but if you’ve had one in the past, it helps to be specific about what made them good. Your list of requirements may be very different from someone else so just be honest about what you need.

• Is it support to do your job?
• Is it an ear to act as a soundboard for ideas?
• Is it to be stretched, developed and challenged?
• Is it to signpost you to further training?
• Is it to connect with other areas of your company, be kept in the loop?
• Do you need some validation or praise for your role?

Once you have specified for yourself what you are missing, think widely about your network and see if you can get these elements elsewhere in the organisation.

For example, if several of you feel the same, you might be able to set up a lunch time support group. Or maybe a professional group when each person takes turns to present a case/example/issue for discussion? This is a very good way to develop everyone!

Co-Coaching

Maybe co-coaching is the way to go? Find another person with a similar interest to you in their career, not necessarily someone you really like, (but respecting them is essential.)

Agree the aims and boundaries of your co-coaching arrangement. You may choose, for example, to meet for 45 minutes in a lunch hour. One of you has fifteen minutes to share your issue when all attention is focussed on the speaker (no sharing of anecdotes or butting in with your own experiences). The listener can speak but only to clarify her understanding of the issues.

The remaining 30 minutes are dedicated to looking at strategies to help the speaker. At the end of the session you should have a mini action plan for strategies to try with a date by which they will be done. the next session you swap roles.

Listen and Prepare

I use this type of partnership working on my training and it’s amazing how successful it can be. The key is to really listen and for the speaker to prepare beforehand, be honest and listen to the suggestions offered in return.

If you’ve tried this I”d love to know if it worked for you. And if you’ve any tips to share, let’s hear them!

P.S. If you’d like to discuss your own coaching options, you can simply call me on 01761 438749, no obligation, or use this link