Articles covering Managing Stress
My Thankful Day
I woke up this morning having gone to bed mulling over a problem. The problem hasn’t been resolved by magic, but I have woken up feeling enormously thankful for all that I have – and I don’t mean material things (although I do covet my wood-burning stove at the moment!)
And so I am having a thankful day, all by myself.
The challenge for me will be to convey my thanks without people thinking I am in need of extra care and attention, or sounding like a born again thanker!
Who are the people in your life that you would like to thank right now? Just do it: they will appreciate it and you will have added something worthwhile to today!
Do let me know who you feel thankful to…oh and thanks for reading this post! I appreciate it.
Stress – What is Causing It?
Once you have done your mini audit and identified that you are feeling stressed, as well as alleviating the symptoms of stress (more on that in a later post) you need to try and determine what is actually causing you to feel stressed.
It’s easier said than done but do take a few moments to recap the last few months. Can you pinpoint when the changes in your behaviour started? If you can’t ask your partner or close friend if they noticed anything.
It might be they tell you something you hadn’t spotted, like your alcohol consumption went up when the new boss started! Or that you became much harder to live with, so brace yourself if you want an honest answer.
Work & Stress
When I’m coaching work comes up as a frequent cause of stress but people don’t always know what it is about work that is stressing them. Try answering these questions:
- Have there been changes at work recently?
- Has your workload changed (up and down, too little work can be stressful)
- Have you had a change of manager or personnel?
- Is there an individual you find difficult to be with?
- Is the work you do at odds with your own personal value base?
- Do you find it difficult to delegate so take everything on yourself?
- Do you think you are the only person who will do it properly?
- Does your partner or family value the work you do?
- Do you want something else but don’t know what it is?
- Is your time management causing you stress?
Naming the beast is halfway to taming the beast! Once you know the causes you can start to manage your stress!
Stress – And How to Manage It
This is the first in a mini series of posts on how to cope with stress. I hope you find it helpful; please share your own stories and tips too!
Recognise Your Signs
What you find stressful may be the breath of life for someone else, and vice versa. You can’t compare. And some days things will cause you stress which wouldn’t on another day; it depends what else is happening in your life right now. All of us feel stressed from time to time and it needn’t be a problem unless we fail to recognise and take remedial action. Then it can cause us no end of problems and unhappiness and potentially long term ill health.
Here are some commonly agreed symptoms of how stress might show itself in you:
- Do you feel on verge of being angry a lot of the time, as if the anger might burst out unbidden? (Indeed, it may, often at the person least due it)
- When you wake up in the morning do you feel as tired as if you hadn’t slept? Is your sleep pattern different from normal?
- Do you feel tired most of the day, generally below par?
- Maybe you are getting a physical sign like a flare up of eczema (When I was doing social work with abused children I would often get patches of painful eczema in the centre of my palms – a sure sign I was under stress.)
- Are you suffering from more than your fair share of headaches?
- When you get in from work do you feel too tired and flat to do anything other than slump? (I mean regularly feel like this; we all experience this from time to time.)
- Has your appetite changed, either eating compulsively or having no appetite for food at all?
- Is your concentration less good than it was? Do you find yourself spending ages on one task and never really finishing it (again, a common occurrence from time to time for all of us! But if it’s happening regularly, it may be telling you something)
- Have your lost your sense of humour, your ability to make light of situations?
- Is your decision making faculty less good? Do you dither about the simplest of things?
We all experience all of the above from time to time but you will know if it is out of the ordinary for you. Stop and take stock from time, do a little stress inventory on yourself. Recognising the signs is the first step to tackling it.
In the next post I’ll be looking at some of the ways we can help manage our stress at work. Don’t forget to share any of your own ideas and suggestions!
Create Your Own Visualisation
There are several ways of using visualisations: the common denominator is that they should help you in some way.
I use them a lot in my courses and coaching, sometimes for relaxation, sometimes to help achieve goals, and sometimes to get into touch with your inner wisdom or intuition.
D.I.Y. Relaxation
Often when I’m coaching I’ll design a personal visualisation for my client for them to use as they wish but you can easily do your own!
First decide what you want it to do for you. If it’s to relax and unwind then think about what unwinds and relaxes you best. For example, the imagery of sea and beaches is often used but if all you feel is gritty sand in places you don’t want gritty sand (!) it definitely won’t relax you! You may prefer to be indoors in the lap of luxury, or you may choose a real place where you were relaxed and at peace, and conjure up the memory.
Achieve Your Ambition
If you want to use the visualisation as an aid to helping you achieve your dreams you need to be specific and honest with yourself about what achieving that dream means.
If it’s rising to the top in your organisation then see yourself in that role. The more detail the better: see how you’re dressed, who is with you, what your office is like, etc. When you feel dispirited just take yourself there for a few moments.
Or if you are trying to change your body shape, lose weight or get fit, imagine yourself exactly how you want to look and being happy with your new body.
If you can create a realistic and inspiring scenario you can tap into into when your motivation is lacking. Just close your eyes and take yourself there. It gets easier the more you practise!
But remember all visualisations work best if you ease yourself into them and allow your breathing to slow and relax first (There are some instructions for that in this post)
Write It Down
I suggest you write it down and rework it until you are happy with it, and then record it, speaking slowly and calmly. If you don’t like the sound of your own voice then maybe ask a friend – you could do one for each other! Load it onto your MP3 player and you have your own ready made motivation class at hand!
If you have used visualisations do let me know how they work for you! And if you have something that works better, please share that too!
How to Cope with Worry
We all worry about life from time to time; it’s natural and probably necessary. But sometimes an ordinary amount of worry can get out of control and spiral into anxiety, eroding our enjoyment of life.
Here’s a tip I use when coaching to help clients control their worrying:
Coaching Exercise
Allow yourself to develop the worry. Take it to the extreme as in ‘What is the worst possible outcome?’ Simply articulating this can help enormously and if you can visualise yourself dealing with the worst case scenario it will help.
Then imagine what is the best possible outcome?
And finally, looking at all the evidence and information you have, what is the most realistic outcome?
How do you manage life’s wee worries? Do you have a favourite tip to share? I’d love to hear it!
Understanding Yourself
Here’s a very quick, but powerful, coaching exercise I often use when coaching women to help them tap into the past (for purposes of making the future fabulous!)
Grab a few coloured crayons and draw a picture of yourself as a child. Don’t try too hard- it’s not an art exam. It’s only for you and your eyes only, and don’t over think it. Just get it down as it comes.
When the drawing is in front of you what is it telling you (no funnies about how it’s telling you you are no good at drawing!)
Is that child happy, confident, or sad and a bit lost? What best describes the child you have drawn? If some negative stuff has arisen when did that first appear in your life?
You may get nothing more than a bit of recreation with some crayons from this. But sometimes it can be very powerful and help you understand yourself so much more!
