Articles covering Managing Stress
Colour Your Workplace & Be More Positive!
I have always wondered why so many office spaces tend to major on grey for their equipment?
And why people who like colour and objects of fun in their work space are often regarded as lightweight and frivolous? And if, because these tend to be women, the dismissal is because of that, as men originally called the shots on workplace design and still do. The world of work, in the main, has been designed primarily by men, on all levels. And we women may thrive better in a different environment.
Right Brain/Left Brain
We know that an injection of colour into our lives can aid our creativity and problem solving capacities Just by doing a so called ‘left brain’* activity with coloured pencils, i.e. making a list of tasks, we are making better use of our problem solving capacity (think mind-mapping). And what business doesn’t want to get the best out of their staff? To give them the best environment to shine? To make best use of all their talents?
Your Space
When I became self employed and had the opportunity to design my own space I tried to put into practice everything I know about giving myself the best chance to develop to the full and to enjoy my environment. I wanted to get as far away from the sterile office atmosphere as I could. I think I’ve succeeded.
I have beautiful, locally designed silk curtains, which fill me with joy each time I look at them. I have a limited edition print by Beryl Cook on my wall, the first one released after she died, which inspires me because Beryl came to be the most famous artist in Britain after she was 60!
I also have a gorgeous desk lamp which works very well but is not merely utilitarian in design, and I have throws on my sofa which are a delight to touch, (my cats love them so I have company a lot of the time too) and I often light scented candles and play music to stimulate all my senses. 
In short, my workplace is designed to give me optimum creativity.
If you could have a free hand in redesigning your work space, what would YOU do? Do share your thoughts!
*The reality is, of course, that we can’t just use half our brain. Both sides work together all the time.
Women, Start Your Own Business? Why not!
There has been something of a theme emerging lately with many of my coaching clients, and discussions with course participants over the last few months. Many of them want to change the way they work, to be more in control of how and when they are working, and many of them are looking for alternative sources of income as they fear redundancy is a possibility.They want to run their own business.
A little questioning reveals that a lack of confidence is hampering their efforts to explore this option and take the first step.
Fear of Failure
They are not unusual. Studies have shown that a third of the female population would start a business if it wasn’t for fear of failure. And that 21% of women start their own business so they can control the hours they work, compared with just 2% of men.
Predictions about job losses during the economic downturn are suggesting that women will suffer disproportionately more than their male counterparts. So it shouldn’t be surprising to see an increase in small start ups coming from women.
Are You a Potential Businesswoman?
Running your own business is not for everyone. However, even if you are making a few extra pounds from selling cup cakes for weddings you are running your own business! Here are a few questions to consider which will help you think about your personality and whether running your own business could suit you:
- What is your attitude towards risk?
- Can you work alone?
- Do you have an idea that really fills you with excitement? If you’re not enthusiastic who else will be?
- How much money do you need to earn during your start up phase? Have you at least 3 months worth of income salted away?
- How good are you at asking for advice?
- How good are you at taking advice?
- How do you cope with uncertainty?
- How much in control do you need to be?
- How much time can you put into a new venture? Starting a new business successfully invariably means putting in lost of extra time, even if you are only officially working on a part time basis. It’ll be in your head all the time, especially in the early stages.
- How much support do you need? I don’t necessarily mean professionally (although of course that is important) but how much support do YOU need from friends, family etc. Can you continue to be enthusiastic in the teeth of scepticism from others? Others around you may not understand your desire for change and may, albeit subconsciously, try to deter you and point out the pitfalls. Are you strong enough?
- Who will be your main supporter?
- How do you deal with setbacks? In your experience to date, when things have gone wrong, how have you reacted?
- What’s your attitude towards making mistakes?
- Are you a doer or a reflector?
- If you think about NOT doing this, how do you feel?
If you’re not sure of your answers to these questions, (and even if you are), try asking those who know you well what they think. I’m not suggesting that you ask them about business advice, I’ve always taken that from professionals. Instead, ask them to tell you how they think you answered the questions, and then ask them to tell you what they really think. And just listen. Don’t let negative responses put you off, but do take it into account when making your decision!
Something You Never Knew About Victorian Women!
You may well have heard that Victorian men thought that when women were anxious or irritable (hysterical paroxysm) the answer lay in their uterus; they had an interesting remedy! Their answer was to bring the women to orgasm and cure them.
I didn’t really believe this for years until I read Flow, by Stein & Kim and realised it was grounded in actual fact. Obviously women must have had something wrong with them if they behave ‘badly’! And the uterus had been viewed with suspicion through the centuries and seen as a source of all woes, even back to early history. Men sought to control women’s behaviour, which they viewed as over emotional, by attributing it to an organ in the body, one they (men) didn’t have.
And now more information has come to light. Apparently, the Victorians, whom we tend to view as staid and repressed, invented and freely sold electrical vibrators! And it seems the Victorians were far less embarrassed about advertising them than some of the coy adverts we see around today. And I thought all that swooning was about tight corsets!
If you want to read more, click here for the link to The Observer Newspaper article about the forthcoming film on this topic- Hysteria.
Get Yourself Habit-Fit!
Habits can be good and habits can be bad. We need them so we can move effortlessly through life and change gear (literally and metaphorically) without too much thought.
But from time to time we all develop habits that are unhelpful to us, and some that are just pointless. Tackling these leaves more room for new and exciting things to emerge!
Review
What habits do you have that are helpful to you? For example, you might have a habit of walking to get the newspaper every day, which helps clear your head and gives you some fresh air exercise. Equally, a period of ill health may mean you had your newspaper delivered for a while and, although you are now recovered, you may not have resumed the habit of walking every day!
As you go through today try and make a mental note of the habits you have that are ‘good‘, that enrich you (or the world at large) in some way, and those that are ‘bad’, that sap your energy and that contribute nothing positive to anyone.
And tomorrow, try to replace that habit with something else! It’s been estimated that it takes about three weeks to change a habit to so you’ll need to keep at it. Start with something small and build your confidence in your ability to change.
Get yourself habit-fit for winter!
Just Enjoy!
Today is my birthday. I was born in 1955 and today I am 55 years old. There seems a certain symmetry about those numbers.
Age has never bothered me and I have never lied about my age (except maybe in a pub once or twice….) OK, I have never pretended to be younger than I am!
I love the wisdom that comes with ageing. I think we should celebrate every passing year for the experience and wisdom it brings with it. And I will be doing just that, having a really joyful day with people I love.
And just to spread that joy, here is a link to one of the most uplifting videos I have seen recently. Please do watch it if you can spare 5 minutes. I guarantee it will make you smile. Dance and be happy! I will be!
Have a great day!
Why Am I Turning Clients Away?
I suddenly realised that I have turned away quite a few clients over the last three months. No, I haven’t suddenly turned into a prima donna (well, I don’t think I have) but I have had several enquiries from people who actually weren’t in the right place to take advantage of coaching; for me to have taken them on would have been to have taken advantage of them.
In each case the people concerned were in quite distressed states. I am not qualified as a medic but I have worked in the field of psychiatry and can usually tell when someone is depressed as opposed to miserable or fed up. I always offer a free session before anyone signs up for coaching (in fact, if I don’t know the individual, I insist on it as all good coaches do). That session is a two way process. It’s for me to find out what the person is looking to achieve from coaching and for them to check out if my style suits them.
Depression
And just lately I have been speaking to people who are clearly very distressed and looking for a very quick fix. I think this is a sign of the times we’re living in. Sometimes coaching can provide a quick answer but not when, as in these cases, the problems are deep seated. In each case the person has been very vulnerable and I have advised contact with a GP, and recommended action where they don’t need to pay a fee. When they have been insistent that I am just what they need, I have asked them to check out with a doctor and call me in a month’s time if they still think coaching will be helpful.
It’s great when they come back on a more even keel and better prepared to get the most of the coaching experience. And when they don’t, I just hope that they have received appropriate help and no longer need coaching, and have not been taken in by some of the spurious claims made for miracle cures.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t just abandon them; I offer my support and advice as far as I am able but I am very clear that sometimes coaching is not the answer!
If you are considering coaching, there is more on this subject here.
