Which is why it could be an excellent time to try out a simple mindfulness exercise which could give you a huge mood boost!

I have written before about the many benefits of mindfulness (see Mindfulness and Stress). There is a growing body of bona fide research demonstrating how mindfulness can help with all sorts of stress and depression. In Your Happiness Audit there is a link to a book I highly recommend which will give you some of the sources of that research if you’d like to know more.

But reading about it is one thing, hearing it another, so I’m really pleased to share this BBC link with you for a ten minute mindfulness exercise that it very easy to do and may just become a good habit for 2012. It was part of a happiness challenge the BBC were promoting last year and it’s perfect to do in a spare ten minutes when sitting at your desk. I frequently recommend this to women when coaching and we do a modified version on my women’s courses. It’s not for everyone but if it works for you you’ve discovered a great resource for life!

Here is the link to BBC Happiness/Health/Mindfulness.

Why not try it for just one week and see how you get on? And please do share your experiences with us!

Photo Credit: Tosaporn Boonyarangkul

Really, it s probably not a good time. You’re probably tired, you may have over eaten (No, surely not!), you may have over indulged in other ways, probably have a backlog of work waiting on your desk, and may be thinking about money, or lack thereof. And everyone is talking about New year resolutions. (Including me, sorry!)

So, Jane, I hear you cry, so if I’m not to join everyone else in making new year resolutions on 1st January which I struggle to keep and abandon half way through January to be plagued with guilt feelings until about mid February when I get back to normal…sort of, what should I do be doing?

Well, dear reader, far be it from me to tell you what to do but as a coach and writer of personal development courses for women (I can’t help myself) I do have a suggestion you might like to try.

Look Back in Kindness

Lots of good things will have happened to you in 2011. Take some time to recognise what those good things were. Generally these things aren’t just random; you probably did something to help those good things happen. However, we all have a tendency to focus on what went wrong and your head may be full of what didn’t go the way you wanted it to. But even when things seem to go wrong good can result.

Name Calling

Often at this time of the year we are calling ourselves names, (so fat, so feckless with money, so disorganised etc) and we set about resolving to ‘fix’ ourselves. We’re not kind to ourselves. We can start with an assumption that we need fixing.

We’re staring with a negative.

Which is not a good place to start. So accentuate the positive! Look back on your year in kindness and remember all the good that came out of 2011, all those minor triumphs. It may be the job interview that you got really great feed back from (whether you got the job or not), the new friend you made, the new skill you learned, or the wisdom about yourself you accrued (and it’s harder to accrue wisdom if nothing ever goes wrong in your life!)

And that’s it. That’s my tip for 2012. Go forth into 2012 tonight with a kindly view of 2011. Build on the good, let go of the bad. Take an appreciative inquiry view to life and be true to yourself!

And have a fabulous 2012, being you!

Photo Credit: Free Graphics

I imagine that quite a few of you are feeling a tad stressed and overwhelmed with all you have to do, both at work and at home. It’s the time of year when our work home balance can get quite out of kilter.

If that feels like you right now take a few minutes to consider this:

Christmas will happen whatever.

Christmas is not simply one day-it’s a season. If it doesn’t go right one day there’s another on the way.

Most things will still be there on December 28th.

Time is man made. There is no law that says everything must be completed on time (except  tax-do your tax returns on time!)

Are you succumbing to the well known ‘I must be superwoman at work as well as making my own mince pies and knitting a witty cat blanket and still look gorgeous’ syndrome? It’s rife at this time of the year and very infectious. If you haven’t been inoculated you could be in danger.

If you’re getting caught up in the pressures that are heaped onto women’s heads at this time of year (by ourselves as well as others) take a moment to pause and reflect. Try giving yourself this mini cure.

The Cure for Martyrdom

What really matters to you and those you care about during this season? If you come up with the answer a beautiful magazine-photo-fit home and hand knitted mince pies then you’d better give that some priority.

But most of us won’t come up with that answer. Most of us will want a relaxing, argument-free time with people we care about, if we can manage it. If the cards don’t get posted on time, they’ll arrive late; the world won’t stop spinning on it’s axis.

Remember to take a break now and again. Recent research shows that people who practice mindfulness are particularly resistant to the blandishments of the ad industry, and frankly that’s what’s we’re talking about here. Being constantly bombarded with images of the perfect woman organising her perfect Christmas for her perfect family, while wafting clouds of Chanel and simpering Nigella like over the bread sauce are so not real! They are figmentsof the admen’s world.

Instead, let’s ‘channel’ Marje Simpson enjoy ourselves! Cheers, purple haired lady!

P.S. I think it might just be me with the cat blanket thing..substitute your own pointless activity.

Photo Credit: Steven J Sullivan

If the answer is yes, perhaps it’s time to press pause.

Stop

There was a fascinating item on BBC radio a while back about mindfulness. Apparently people who practice mindfulness are a much harder bunch for advertisers to sell to (they can be less stressed all round, see this post). Or rather they were able to resist more effectively the intense pressure of advertising than other groups. They didn’t need so many things to feel content. So here’s a very short mindfulness type exercise which won’t eat into your day but may reduce your stress levels and act like your own internal pause button during these busy weeks.

The Press Pause Exercise

Each hour has 60 minutes. Choose one of those sixty minutes and do the following:

Pause in whatever you are doing (in safety-obviously!). If possible lower or close your eyes.  Become aware of just what your body is doing. Notice if your feet are on the ground, hooked round a chair, if you have crossed legs, etcetera? Now pay attention to your torso. How are you holding yourself, are you able to breathe as well as you can?

Now notice your breathing. How are you breathing? Just take notice, don’t change it (although almost inevitably just being aware will slow your breathing).

Notice how you actually feel. Don’t judge, just notice what your feelings are, become conscious of your emotions.

And finally, when convenient for you, breathe out one breath for a slightly longer time than normal. Just one.

Open your eyes.

Smile.

Press go.

Photo credit: M Kranz

and you will have detractors in life

and you will have couldn’t care much one way or the others in your life.

The ‘couldn’t care much one way or the others’ may help you if you ask them. They probably won’t do you any harm. You could get to know them better – find out what makes them tick and offer help and assistance to them. Who knows, in time they may join your supporters club.

The detractors may take up more of your time that necessary; we tend to get caught up with stuff like that when sometimes the best answer is just to let go. Decide that they won’t upset you and don’t respond. A waste of your energy.

Which leaves your supporters.

Do you know who your supporters are? Are you paying them enough attention? Are you supporting in return?

PHoto Credit: Duchessa

Most of us probably don’t do it enough. Psychologist Dr Nick Bayliss says we ought to be doing it every day. Twenty minutes each day of ‘time out’ time can make you feel great!

20 Minutes of Fun

So, here’s your challenge for the rest of the week. Take 20 minutes and fill it with doing something you love. Be as spontaneous as possible. Maybe you’ll resurrect your old piano skills and tinkle up and down the ivories? Perhaps you’ll pick up your old sketch book? Make a cake? Or simply be and stare at the trees noticing the changes Nature is bringing?

Try it out and let me know how you get on! And do share your favourite 20 minutes of fun time! (if you can…) You could spend your twenty minutes day dreaming! Check out this post on Dream and be Happy!

Photo Credit: Melbia

We haven’t really, of course; there is always simply all the time there is, to be philosophical for a moment! And time is relative. When we’re doing something we love time passes in a flash. When we’re with people who radiate and make us feel good about life, time passes in a flash.

But when we have a job we loathe, when we’re with people who put us down and drain us, time passes slowly; having ‘more time‘ is not always good for us.

How is your relationship with time? Are you making the most of your time?

If you’ve enjoyed this wee post you might like to try my drains diet!

Photo Credit: J. Nichols

Of course happiness is rather wonderful but if were happy all the time we’d probably not know it. We know we’re happy because we’ve had the lows as contrast.

Make Peace With Your Past

Your past is a chapter already written; you can’t change it. For good or ill it’s brought where you are today. Sometimes we can find ourselves dwelling on the negative parts of our past, focussing our energies backwards. Make peace with your past. Accept it for what it was and acknowledge that it’s made you the woman you are today. The troubled times have strengthened you and the happy times have enriched you.

Your challenges and joys have all made you who you are today, and will continue to do so. Accept your past and embrace your present. Savour the smallest of joys and live mindfully.

Enjoy your day!

Photo Credit: TyniuzC

Children

Much of our storyline will have been set in childhood. When I was working professionally with children life story work was a significant element in helping them come to terms with what had happened to them. Children are very good at creating a story to fill in the gaps in their knowledge. Unfortunately, children who have had sorrow in their lives tend to make up a story where they are at fault in some way, in some way responsible for what had happened to them.

Adults and Stories

And what have I learned from experience and study is that we never really lose our childhood stories about ourselves. And those stories continue to have an impact on us and our experience of life. Which is fine if you were fortunate enough to have a good back story; if you had significant adults in your life who praised you and helped you develop a good sense of self.  If you didn’t have that experience it’s possible that you are still playing a character from your story that is stifling your potential.

I Want to Tell You a Story…

In a safe way, I lightly touch on this topic in my RenewYou course. I ask the women to think about labels they and others hold of them. And then I ask them to think about the labels they’d like to change. And then we think about making that change!

Your story isn’t finished. You are the author and it’s within you to write a new paragraph, bring in new characters, try a new location, focus on a new direction! So now you’re in charge of your story, what will you ‘write’?

‘You always win raffles’ she says.

Clearly I don’t or I’d have a house chock full of orphan cuddly toys and last year’s chocolates! But I do buy tickets at charity events and my friend was with me when I won a few times in a row. In her head I am lucky so she doesn’t notice the myriad times I don’t win a thing!

You Can Be Lucky Too!

Luck is a state of mind. Decide to be lucky and amazingly you will be!

Let me share an example with you. I had a pretty hard week last week for lots of reasons I won’t mention; most outwith my control. At the end of the week I was lucky enough (!) to get a trip down to Cornwall to visit friends which was a blessed relief and lovely (I even paddled in the sea!)

On the way home my darling husband’s car exhaust decided to make a bid for freedom and dropped off! How unlucky! I’d had a tiring week and just after a relaxing week end I get this and have to wait hours for recovery….sigh.

Well, no actually. Instead, I thought how lucky that we had such good friends who said come to us at a moment’s notice. How lucky that they live in such a brilliant part of the country. How lucky that we had the hottest October week end in years.

And most of all…

How lucky that we had stopped for a drink and a snack just before the exhaust disgraced itself and I had just been to the loo!There were no bushes for miles….

How lucky are you?

Have a look at Can You Make Yourself Lucky for a less tongue in cheek account!

PS Have you noticed what a strange word ‘lucky’ is. Try saying it out loud a few times! Quietly, or you’ll sound like Kylie Minogue! No bad thing actually!

Photo Credit: Dave Simmonds