Inspirational Women – Ruth & Belinda!

I’m bringing you a double interview this edition! Regular readers will know I love to knit and I particularly love good wool which feels and looks beautiful. By a series of lucky happenstances I came across Ruth and Belinda who earlier this year set up in business together. I bought some beautiful baby alpaca wool from them (perfect for snoods, very of the moment) and somehow we got talking.

They run their own unique wool business, R & B, a  different type of wool shop on line and also are responsible for knitexpo.co.uk.  (Links at the end of the post). But I’ll let them tell their story…sit down with a cuppa in hand and just enjoy!

Jane: R&B You both had quite different careers before coming together to form your business. Could you each share just what your other careers have been (and possibly still are)?
Belinda :Whizz! Where do I begin? Our past informs out future, so… years in a few words ……Born and spent my child-time in Africa. Father was an academic (Prof. of English and Philosophy) and Mummy-darling was… well she was a beautiful woman; a DJ, a journalist, a designer, a jazz singer, a party giver. Our (my sisters’) dresses and nighties matched her bag.

Back to colder climes… Sarum Hall (Hampstead, London), boarding school for a year (hated), at 16 I left Queens Gate (South Kensington); O’ Levels in Art  (A) and Music (A), the rest of my O’ levels I received U (Unclassified) I didn’t turn up or wrote my own diatribe. When I told my father my results he didn’t say anything,later I found a note on my bed: “Everything there is to know is not knowable by each person, so if there is a choice, as there must be, is it not best to let the individual choose their own wisdom and also their own areas of un-knowledge”.

He was an extra-ordinarily clever man. … and my mother studied for an MA in Knitted Textile at the Royal College of Art were my fascination will all things structural, constructed, woolly, made and developed, art and inspiration began. I made a knitted golf club, a camouflage jacket for a toy jeep, a treasure chest for an 8’ clown – well my mother was never conventional. (please see above).

I auditioned for Big Brother 8 (2009), became a housemate, and took part in a few TV comedy shows which led to setting up Screen South West (training people in acting and re-acting to the camera), … which led to role-play work in the corporate and public sector, and then one day I got a leaflet through my door, inviting people in my street to a knitting group, where the proceeds for the knitted articles made at the group were sent to Uganda (!) – Where I was born. So full circle. I thought “umm, to knit again – what fun!” and as they say, the rest is history. Ruth ran, and still does run, the group KNIT 2Tog (I still go – she lives 40 houses away).
Ruth: I was, and am no longer, a therapist. My routes to fixing were through Massage and Bowen therapy, and counselling. I realise that it is not very usual to admit to fixing people as a counsellor, but my training was in CBT. (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

How did you decide to set up the wool business?
Ruth: I wanted to show people how to make my designs, and to make money, quite happy to admit to this, if we are to be taken seriously we have to be seen to ambitious, not apologetic, about what we do.
Belinda: Ruth and I, while travelling to and from the Big Noise Chorus (150+ choir we both attended), spoke about creating a ‘performance’ about knitting. The big KNIT show came about (a trade fair encompassing performance, workshops, chocolates and laughter). The Exeter Arts Centre PR administrator thought of calling it KNIT expo – we went with the flow. We out-grew the art centre, needed a bigger place for traders, lost most of the performance, brought in a fashion show, kept the chocolates and workshops (now called KNIT studios).

Knitting and all manner of crafts has enjoyed a renaissance over recent years (I am quite trendy for a change!). Why do you think that is?
Ruth: Knitting has always had highs and lows in popularity; lovely yarn helps though.
Belinda: We want to shake up the misrepresentation of hand-knit work and take it away from the un-sexy (I dislike this word but I can’t think of anything else that means the antithesis of homey, mumsey, woolly, old and frumpy). People are often surprised that I knit – the answers I am given, if I ask people why they think this, are: you are too young, you wear make-up, you were on Big Brother (!).

I do believe the perception of knitting is changing, however slowly, but it does need a ‘mass huge publicity spin’ to really re-package what knitting is. I agree with you, knitting has become more popular, but to the masses (the status quo), it is still deemed ‘the prerequisite of the grey-haired brigade’. Although, humbly I would like to declare my debt to the fore-mothers and fathers of a hand-knitting history, no matter how it is defined or imagined (negatively or otherwise); no matter that some people might misinterpret it or express doubt about the artistic qualities associated with the art or even see it as the perquisite of the older generation.

Hand-knitting and its curious investigators have changed and are changing the terrain of the possible. There is a huge legacy left for us (technique and styling and methods of working), it is based in tradition and expanded by innovation and can be seen today in some of the contemporary fibre artists and designers. So I mustn’t be too negative or disingenuous. There is some extraordinary hand-knitted work being designed/made.

How does Knit Expo fit into the business plan?
Belinda: KNIT expo feeds the ‘performance’ that I crave, and gives us the opportunity to challenge and present hand-knitting in provocative, entertaining and inspirational environments. It also gives us the opportunity to meet with the movers’n’shakers within the field of fibre art, design, training and development. Ruth and Belinda (the design and products – money making side of our knitting world/life) runs in parallel with KNIT expo.
Ruth: Just selling and designing doesn’t really describe everything we are, we need a bigger platform to shout from, knitexpo is it, although, to save confusion we are bringing it under the R and B umbrella by also calling it R and B interactive.

What has been the biggest challenge in setting up your business?
Belinda: Having to put money back into the business while it grows… – as we are evolving new ideas, products, designs and the R&B concept is morphing and growing, (as we develop and build as business woman and makers) we realise that we need to inject as much money into the embryonic stage as possible. To make something extra-ordinary (which is what Ruth and I both want) means that we have to not cut costs nor compromise on quality. Also –  lack of time – there are not enough hours in the day for me to achieve – … it takes a lot of time to set up/dream/sort/discuss/make/test/create the R&B universe.
Ruth:  The biggest challenge is not being able to see into the future and know that all the hard work and problem solving and correcting mistakes will be worth it in the end. Also having the courage to keep widening the foundations before we build upwards to profit and into the public’s view.

Do you think it makes it easier working with a partner? (careful now)

Ruth: It is only good to work with someone if you can work with them, I suspect that most people would find me difficult, Belinda doesn’t, and we seem to compensate nicely for each other, and are honest enough to work through differences.
Belinda: Definitely. We talk and talk about; ideas, style, design, sense of wonder, technique, exchange of good practice, influence, equality, improvised structure, unravelling and re-forming, dynamics, presentation, texture and colour, emotions and mood, knitting patterns, the physical actions and styles of hand-knitting, creating yarn, the history of knitting, hand-knitting world domination, cultivating true value, worth, making money, projects, dreams, family, ideologies, philosophies…

And we are human and have had different life stories so we come up with different ideas/dream/thoughts, which I believe just gives us a bigger pool of ‘stuff’ to work with. Sometimes I get/Ruth gets it wrong… something we do/think/make it wrong … but we know each other well enough to say when we are not happy. This is good.

How have you experienced the business world? Have you found it easy to negotiate the hurdles involved in setting up a business? Has the fact that you are two perfectly aged women had a positive, negative, or no impact at all?
Belinda: We are working in the world of knitting, so being 45+ has no bearing on what we sell or how we sell it. It is almost expected. Everyone we have met has been so fabulous and generous with their time and advice. We have gained so much from talking to Business Advisers, Fibre artists, hand-knitters, traders, mill owners etc etc.., so many people.
Ruth: The age we are seems irrelevant, what we need is imagination, energy and courage.

What is best thing about running your own business?
Belinda: Autonomy – complete control; being in the position to truly follow our vision.
Ruth: Success and recognition

Who most inspires you? Or has been biggest influence on you career wise and personally?
Ruth: Lesley Prior of Devon Fine Fibres was a huge encouragement when I first started, and has remained so.
Belinda: People who do anything brilliantly, in whatever disciple – people of excellence. AND… new ideas, innovative modes of working, people who have thought/live/lived/lives outside the box; my mother, Ghandi, Billie Holiday, Steve Jobs etc… The struggle has always been inner, and is played out in the outer terrains. Awareness of our situation must come before inner changes, which in turn come before changes in society. Nothing happens in the ‘real’ world unless it first happens in the images in our heads. –  (Anzaldua)

And my children – I have learned more from them than from anyone. We supported them in all their crazy imaginings.Oh and people who treat their children with the utmost respect and kindness. (They are the new generation of thinkers –. To squeeze the ‘being’ out of children might produce obedient pupils, compulsive consumers, compliant workers, submissive citizens, but will it leave us our heart, our empathy, compassion, our individuality, our own thinking, our imagination, our integrity, the feelings which swell us with joy and darken us with grief?)

What would you do differently if you were to start again?
Belinda: Nothing. We learn from our mistakes. We don’t learn anything from out successes.
Ruth: I wouldn’t, we have learned so much by the mistakes, a cliché, but true.

How do you relax?
Ruth: Shut my eyes and dream.
Belinda:Knit and watch cheesy American TV shows: Desperate Housewives and vampire/sci-fi programmes; Supernatural, Sanctuary, talk and laugh with my children (men now), listen to jazz, go to Aqua fit classes, talk through ideas with my husband, knit more (everyday)

What is the secret of happiness for you?
Belinda: Family (love), recognition (work and play), quality (design, work and play), unusual (personality), prestige (wealth and security), Hellmann’s mayonnaise (I collect the lids – I have over 400), quirky (personality, house and furniture), laughter (lots), chocolate (white), mangoes (ripe), yarn (soft), chrome (furniture, knitting needles, bed-frame), leather (furniture, clothes), modern (design, furniture, ideas), Gucci (bags), fluorescent pink (light shades), black and white (OCD: I only wear B&W clothes) and 17 (I count, to keep me safe).
Ruth: A good conscience and visiting the seaside sometimes

Have you a plan for the next five years?
Ruth: To build R and B into a business that people enjoy working in and buying from.
Belinda: 1) A book published; our designs, ethos, vision, reason d’etre, our life2) A TV chat show – (!)/ or a show (live) or film (recorded) on hand-knitting history, chat show, informative, investigative, real life stories… A HUGE national art/performance based hand-knitting project.

If you could give you younger self some advice what would it be?
Ruth: You may not be what you think you are, take some time to find out, safely.
Belinda: Be Braver – do not be afraid…

Do you have a book/quote/motto/advice to share with women who may be frustrated or discontented in their lives at the moment?
Ruth: Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons, it is  like a ripe lemon; sharp and delicious.
Belinda: Quote: Do or do not, there is no try… Yoda (Star Wars). Lyric: Fools rush in, where wise wo(men) never go, but wise wo(men) never fall in love…… I have never regretted what I have done, I have often regretted what I haven’t.

Jane:Thank you both so much.

I know you’ll will want to check out the R&B site after reading this (and I certainly am going there again-the wool is the most divine I have knitted with) and you can do so by clicking this link to Ruth & Belinda. And if you do shop with them be sure to mention where you heard about them! (Not that I’m on commission – it’s simply nice to know).

PS If you like to knit you might be interested to read this Knitting and Pain Relief.

Inspirational Women – Jane Weaver

Jane Weaver runs AYS Couriers, her own logistics company. Jane was working at AYS when redundancy loomed so she bought the company! AYS Couriers sends goods across the UK from sheaves of paper to industrial fridges. I really admire her and I’m sure you will too after reading her story.

Jane, do tell us how you ended up working in the predominantly male field of logistics?
Completely by accident! I took a job as PA to the owner of AYS Couriers, purely because I liked her and was impressed with her pride in the business. I was at a low ebb in my life and stepped away from my PA career to take less responsibility and work within a role that was comfortable to me at the time. I came to AYS at a very difficult time in my life, in the middle of a difficult divorce and at a very low ebb.

My MD was very supportive and came to know how I was feeling, she had a great balance between being an empathetic woman whilst remaining clearly the “boss” – this is a model I try to replicate in my current role.

After about 18 months the owner of the business told us that she had decided to sell AYS, at this point I realised this could be the answer to the worries I had about my future. I saw this was the chance to make my own future and although there were many obstacles my determination to take this opportunity saw me through. Instead of wondering what I was going to do to get out of the ‘mess’ I felt I was in, I took control and made a decision to throw all my energy into seeing the sale through; I set  goals and ‘made deals with myself’; such as “I will spend the 2 years just looking after my daughter (then the youngest of 3 was 13) and ‘making this happen’” I saw the purchase and me taking up the role as MD as a way of providing security and financial advancement as well as giving my battered mind something positive to focus on.

I didn’t let my head drive doubts into my mind and read up on others who had achieved similar things, I took inspiration from other business women and educated myself on legalities and business structure.

The biggest challenge was financial I had been left after my divorce with no capital; the current business owner advised me to talk to an associate of hers who had been through an MBO before and who had contacts with potential investors. Through his support we were able to buy the business with a team of shareholders.

Over the following years shareholders were brought out, until we got to the point where I remain the sole owner. Buying the business transformed my life and I am eternally grateful that I took the opportunity to make my own destiny, I would say to anyone sometimes when you can’t see a way forward and are unsure how you are going to ever feel positive again, the best things are around the corner, believe in yourself, this is just a phase in your life – not the rest of your life!

Did you plan your career? Or have you reacted to events as they have happened?
I have to admit I did not have a plan when I left school, prior to A levels as I was ‘bored’! My first job was as an office junior for Birmingham City Council, this gave me a great insight into the work of different departments as we moved around on a rota basis gaining experience.

Following this start, I moved around, not working more than 2/3 years in anyone place. Although some would think this is not a good admission on a CV, I think this demonstrates an interest in learning and developing. My experience allowed me to take on pretty much any administrative role as I could learn and turn my hand to anything. I moved to PA more in a management support role than in the traditional shorthand secretarial role; this gave me inside knowledge of the work of Directors and CEO’s that proved invaluable!

What would you change if you had the chance to go back and do it again?
When asked over the years if I would have changed things at times I would have said yes, I would have gained more qualifications but now as my career has matured I would say No. I strongly believe that one of my greatest skills is being able to take on new challenges, change motivates rather than frightens me; this is a direct result of working in many different sectors at various levels.

What has most surprised  you about running your own business?
The absolute joy of it! I am enthusiastic about my business and particularly enjoy being in a position where I can give others the opportunity to become a stakeholder in the business and develop their career, the sky really is the limit at AYS for both the business and its personnel.

What have I learnt from this journey:-
1) If you really want something and are prepared to do what it takes to get it – you will succeed.

2) Don’t let bad days (or weeks or months!) make you feel this is all that life holds for you – none of us know the future.

3) Forgive yourself for your mistakes, when I asked a great friend how my life had got so confused she responded “one step at a time” she constantly told me “you are only human” – we all find ourselves in situations that didn’t quite work out as we thought, we are only human – it is life experiences that make you the person you are.

It’s hard to put into words, I guess I mean I am an ordinary person, my life felt fractured – and yet good things were around the corner, I took the opportunity that provided drive and passion in my life and ‘saved’ myself from the downward spiral – if I can do it – so can you!

Have you experienced any overt or covert discrimination because of your gender? If so, how do you deal with it?
Not at all, I have found the female approach to be very successful. In my experience there has always been a lot of support for me as a business owner, both I believe as a female and as someone who came to business in a less than traditional route.

What’s the best advice you’ve been given re starting your own business?
“Know where you are going! Decide where you want to get to, then you will find the way” It is easy to become distracted from your goals, having a clear destination or end result in mind clarifies thought processes, you can’t plan if you don’t have a clear destination in mind.

Who has been the biggest influence, or role model in your life? Who most inspires you?
I have had two ‘Bosses’ who inspired me along the way. The first one taught me that ‘no’ was not an option when things get tough, find a way to do it! He gave me a “can do” attitude that helps me every day, we sometimes impose limitations on ourselves by accepting the first “I can’t do it” thought that pops into our head.

My focus on the end result in business and ability to identify the route to the goal is a direct result of his influence.

The second inspired me in her belief in her business, I could see how much having her own business meant to her and I guess I wanted that feeling too. She is a successful business woman but retains a down to earth combination of wife and mother alongside her professional image – a very “real” lady.

MD is a big job when running your own business. How do you manage to balance home and work and to relax?
Stop fighting yourself, when you own a business you will have enormous passion about it, it is part of your life and you never fully switch off but that does not mean that you cannot enjoy being away from it. Whenever I take holiday I still want to know how things are going and holidays often give you time to come up with ideas and direction for your business. I don’t believe this is a fault it is natural state for someone who goes into business ownership, you just manage your communication and contact.

My family know they come first but also know how important the business is to me, and that it makes me happy! Relaxation should be built into you week; it refreshes and de-stresses you and in the end makes you more productive. At particularly difficult times I believe that it is your duty to yourself and to your business to ensure that you do the things that help you relax and re-energise so that when you are at work you are 100%.

If the current Jane could give the 16 year old Jane some advice, what would it be?
Believe in yourself, a tendency to become ‘bored’ could be seen as ambition and a desire to increase my knowledge. At the time I faced criticism for moving on from roles that were ‘secure’, now I know the benefit of the development I gained in other roles. Don’t lose ‘yourself’ it is you being you that brings about success; never try and change yourself to fit someone else’s model.

If you could have any career you wanted, what would it be and why?
I would like to be in a role where I could help others realise their ambitions, I have learned so much in this role, and I would like to be able to support others in their desire to progress in business. Many people suffer from not taking up opportunities that are presented, with an enquiring mind and thoughtful planning most things can be achieved more easily than you might think.

How has deciding to run your own business affected your life?
Taking the decision to lead an MBO and buy into the business and then to eventually take on the whole business has transformed my life. If anyone is hesitating about doing it I would say go for it! Ensure that your business and personal plans are realistic and achievable and then go ahead and take control of your own destiny. My journey from a time when my future was unclear to my role today has been a roller coaster of amazing experiences. All the clichés are true, seize the day, believe in yourself – you can do it! For me I am just beginning “watch this space”!

Jane, thank you so much! I am so looking forward to meeting you again on Speak Up!

If you’d like to meet some other wonderful women like Jane, do come along to the next Speak Up course in Bath. It’s booking now! And this link will take you directly to Jane’s AYS site.

Inspirational Women – Deborah Alsina

Twitter is amazing and was the cause of my getting to know the amazing Deborah Alsina. Deborah is the chief executive of a national charity and I was intrigued to know how she came by such a job. Do read her story – I know she’ll inspire you as she has me!

Jane: Deborah, can you describe your current role?
Deborah: I’m the Chief Executive of Bowel Cancer UK, a national charity which aims to save lives by raising awareness of bowel cancer, campaigning for best treatment and care and providing practical support and advice to patients, their family and friends.

Bowel cancer is the second biggest cancer killer in the UK, but it is highly treatable if diagnosed early.  Unfortunately awareness of the disease is too low and people are often unaware of the disease itself or its symptoms.  That makes Bowel Cancer UK’s work even more important as raising awareness really can save lives.

How did you end up in this post? Was it through personal experience or a career choice?
A bit of both actually.  My father was diagnosed with bowel cancer in early 2008 and sadly died in June that same year.  During the course of his diagnosis and treatment I was shocked to learn that bowel cancer is the second biggest cancer killer, yet I knew nothing about it at all.  His death was profoundly shocking and I’m convinced that if I had known then what I know now, he would have survived.

During the course of those few months and after his death, I researched the disease and the charitable sector as I wanted to know more.  In my mind, I was sure there had to be a big cancer charity that was providing support and advice as there are, for example, in breast and prostate cancer.   I was shocked to discover that in fact the charities focusing on bowel cancer were small and under-developed and realised that in part this was due to the nature of the disease and its public image.

I’ve worked in the voluntary sector for 20 years and at the time was working as a self-employed management consultant so I decided to turn my painful negative experiences into a positive by getting involved in some way.  I wrote to Bowel Cancer UK and offered to help and my probono consultancy services quickly became employment!  I became Director of Services and Strategy in June 2009 and then Chief Executive a year later.

I’m at my best professionally when I’m passionate about what I do and I think the reason this role works so well is that it brings together my personal experience with my professional skills.

What is main difference working in charity sector as opposed to the private sector?
The most obvious difference is that the charity sector is cause driven, not about profit.  Of course we want to make a profit (normally through fundraising) but then plough that back into the charity to ensure we meet our mission, in Bowel Cancer UK’s case to save lives from bowel cancer. I think charities should be run with the same rigour as a business but with a cause at their core.

To be truly effective, they should be fast moving, sharply run, independent and full of creativity and innovation.  Our ultimate aim should be to put ourselves out of business because we’ve solved the issue we are focused upon.

What were your career aspirations when you left school?
I was going to be an opera singer!  From the age of six, I was always going to be a musician – initially a cellist and then in my mid –teens I discovered, to my amazement, that I had a good voice and just loved it.  My aim was to go to music college to study singing but as I finished school when I was still 17 and young voices need looking after, I went to university first to read Music.

However I had my singing lessons at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama and was a performance major.  The idea was that afterwards I would go on to do post graduate studies.  Those plans came unstuck when I went to Africa and fell in love with it!  I had been so privileged to have a safe secure upbringing but Africa really opened my eyes to the wider world including to poverty and human rights abuse.  From that moment my attention changed from centre stage Covent Garden to a deep desire to do something for people.  I changed direction totally, stopping singing almost overnight – which I regret now to some extent.

What were you doing before this role?
I began my career in publishing but quickly moved into the voluntary sector. I have worked in many different areas, from academic think tanks to charities supporting people with a disability or who work internationally.  Directly before joining Bowel Cancer UK, I was an independent consultant for five years which I enjoyed.  I specialised in strategy, fundraising and communications and of course did lots of evaluations too.  I was also the interim CEO of the Welsh Refugee Council for a while.

I was very fortunate to have lots of really interesting work yet had the flexibility to spend more time with my children and support my husband who was newly diagnosed with leukaemia.

However, my favourite employer before Bowel Cancer UK was the Refugee Council, I started working there as a fundraiser and eventually ended up setting up a new programme looking at the root causes of refugee producing situations and asylum in the West.  I spent some time in the Balkans after the conflicts there and was deeply moved by the stories of bravery and terrible suffering.  In fact I was in Bosnia visiting families still trying to return to their homes, living in terrible conditions but with such dignity and pride on 9-11.  It was a terrible insight into what was to come.

So what draws my passion for human rights and refugees together with my passion to raise awareness of bowel cancer?  People and their amazing ability to overcome adversity and a personal desire to help where I can and where it’s appropriate to do so.

What kind of career path have you followed? Did you have a plan or react to events?
When I was in my 20s and early 30s I had a more obvious career path – I wanted to rise up through the ranks and to be a Director of Fundraising and Communications, which I achieved.  Then life happened and I moved into consultancy to try and get some balance and since then my career has been governed by personal events in my life, where my skills, experiences and interests converge.  I think what I enjoyed most about consultancy was that I was constantly being challenged and pushed out of my comfort zone which ensured I quickly extended my skill base.

I’ve finally discovered, now in my early 40s, that the most wonderful thing about getting older, is that I am much more able to accept that I’m actually quite good at some things and also feel just as fine about admitting that I will never be any good at some others!   It’s a good place to be.  Taking on a wide range of diverse projects as a consultant helped me find that out.

I’m also interested to discover that at this point in my life, I’m not very personally ambitious in terms of my career, but hugely ambitious in terms of my desire to do something of value.  I have no choice but to work as I need to make a living, so if I am going to do so, it has to be something that is socially meaningful.  If I’m honest sometimes my social conscience feels like a bit of a curse as I’m sure there must be an easier way to make a buck but I know I would lose interest pretty quickly!   My husband and close friends would tell you I am very determined and driven and I think that is fair.  When something has really grabbed my attention or needs to be done I am very focused and I will find a way to make it happen if I possibly can.

I know there will be a moment that it is right for Bowel Cancer UK that I move on, as I think new energy is important in a growing organisation, but at this moment I have no clear plan about what I will do next – no doubt something important will draw me in eventually.

Deborah, I’m pretty certain you must be an inspiration to many people, but who most inspires you?
I have been fortunate to work with some pretty inspirational people over the course of my career.  In fact some of the people who have inspired me most have been those who have overcome terrible things in their own lives yet found a way to turn a negative into a positive.  For example at the moment I am frequently moved by people who are touched by cancer either as a patient or care giver and who go on to provide support and hope to others.  I find that deeply motivating and it makes me want to do more.

What would you do differently if you were to start again? If you could give your younger self some advice what would it be?
Perhaps the biggest thing I would like to change is that I’ve always been plagued by severe self-doubt and been really tough on myself with lots of negative self-criticism.  I have a considerable expertise at identifying all the things I believe I have done wrong rather than allowing myself to enjoy successes.

Now a bit of that is a good thing, because it can keep you on your toes and I’m relieved to say that I am finally learning to channel it and turn it into a creative energy that enables me to achieve, but it has been a long hard battle.  So I think I would like to give my younger self a good talking to, so that I could stop wasting so much time dealing with negative unhelpful emotions.

What is the secret of happiness for you?
Watching Bowel Cancer UK strengthen, thrive and grow makes me happy because it means we really have a chance to have the impact we want – to save lives from and support people through bowel cancer.

However it’s my family that makes me happiest of all.  I have three beautiful children – boys of 16 and 14 and a little girl of 7.  Watching them grown and turn into wonderful people makes me both proud and happy.  Having enough time with them given the nature of my role and my daily five hour commute is difficult so time off with them is very precious.

If you could have any job you wanted (and you can’t choose your current one!) what would you absolute dream job be?
Now this is a difficult one.  Before my husband was diagnosed with cancer I had wanted to pursue an international career as I have a passion for international development and human rights, but we are tied to this country because of his ongoing treatment so I’ve had to give that up for now.

However my dream job would probably have some type of international component – looking at the international dimensions of cancer would fascinate me as it is a growing global issue yet the infrastructure in so many developing countries is very limited.  I would also be very interested in providing some training or mentoring to local charities in for example, Africa, to help them build their skills and build a sustainable local infrastructure.   You never know one day, once the children have left home, perhaps I will finally enrol for VSO and spend a year or two pursing the dream!

What advice would you give to any woman looking to work within the voluntary/charity sector?
If having an opportunity to work with like-minded people and making a difference matter to you, then go for it, but be aware you would earn more in the City!   One good way of finding out if it’s for you is to volunteer with a charity or two to get a feel of what they are like.  Remember there is a big difference between the infrastructure of the very large charities and many of the smaller ones.  You may find you get more boxed into a role in a larger organisation and they can be quite bureaucratic.

Smaller charities tend to be more flexible which means you can have the opportunity to get involved in a broader range of work, however the lack of resources can be extremely frustrating.  It all depends on what style and role you would most prefer.  Another reason volunteering can be helpful is that breaking into the charity sector can be difficult if you don’t have any experience so focusing on transferable skills and showing your commitment might help you stand out.

What’s your favourite saying/motivational quote/ fave book?
Can I cheat and have two favourite quotes?The first one is by Barack Obama, I love the sentiment in this and it rings very true to me:

‘Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. It’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.’

The second quote I’ve gone back to time and time again over the years, particularly when life has thrown me some tough challenges.  It has always given me hope that things will get better and the courage to embrace challenges as a necessary part of living.  It is from a longer section in ‘The Prophet’ by Kahlil Gibran entitled ‘On joy and sorrow’:

‘Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.And how else can it be?The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.’

Deborah, thank you so much for your time, your honesty and your unstinting work for what is still one of the unsung charities. I guess when it comes to our bowels we’d rather not discuss it!  But, having a had a bowel cancer scare myself last year I’m well aware that early detection and treatment is crucial. So, dear readers, please bookmark this link and share it widely. Thank you!

For more information on bowel cancer or on Bowel Cancer UK please visit www.bowelcanceruk.org.uk

Inspirational Women – Dr Judith Baxter

You may well have heard Dr Baxter this summer as she was featured on BBC’s Woman’s Hour talking about her latest research on women in the boardroom. Enjoy this interview with her and be inspired!

Dr Judith Baxter is senior lecturer of Applied Linguistics at Aston University and has a very impressive array of publications and books to her credit. She recently published some research into how women’s language styles impact on boardroom behaviours, a topic very close to my heart! I’m so pleased we got this opportunity to talk with her.

Jane: Judith, thank you so very much for making the time to talk with changing people readers, it’s much appreciated. Your latest piece of research made a stir nationally (it was featured here on the blog too) and was picked up by several media outlets. We obviously only got edited highlights in the press so could you tell us a little more about what prompted the project?
Judith: My interest goes back some way! A few years ago, I was working in a FTSE 100 company as a consultant and I couldn’t help but notice that all the senior managers I encountered were male.

As an applied linguist, I wanted to know why there was a lack of senior women on senior management boards, and wondered if the use of language might help to explain this. Was there something about the way leaders use language that might hinder senior women? Research has explored the topic from many perspectives – historical, sociological, educational and psychological – but I wasn’t aware of any research on the language of leadership, so I wanted to fill the obvious gap!

The (very simplified) conclusions of that research were that women’s style of talking in board rooms led to a loss of their authority. How do you think women can mitigate the effects of that?
Well, that is a very simplified version of my findings. My principal finding is that senior women use a type of leadership language that I call ‘double-voiced discourse’ (DvD) more than senior men. DvD involves anticipating the hidden agendas and concerns of your colleagues and adjusting what you say in light of this. It is used to predict and dilute potential conflict with colleagues especially in difficult or challenging contexts. It seems to be particularly prominent where women are outnumbered on Boards.

The media picked up on the ‘weak’ form of DvD, which can make women sound apologetic or defensive and therefore lose authority with their teams or colleagues. For example, I have heard senior women frame a comment by saying:

‘I’m sure you’ve thought of this before but I think that…’, and ‘this must sound perfectly obvious to you but...’ and ‘at the risk of sounding assertive’, and even ‘I will shut up, I’ve been speaking too much’.

It is difficult for women to change this because such self-corrective devices are learnt over time from girlhood in order to handle conflict with others in acceptable and non-threatening ways.

The first step towards mitigating such effects is to notice when other people use DvD, or better still to notice when you use it yourself. Ask whether self-deprecating phrases are actually helpful or needed within a given context, or whether they just make you sound uncertain and tentative. Once you have developed a level of awareness of the language you use, you can start to adjust it by removing the more tentative phrases. Perhaps note how senior women or men you consider as role models use speech when they sound particularly assured.

However, my findings also show that there is a ‘strong’ version of DvD which helps senior women to be highly effective as leaders in male-populated contexts. Strong DvD enables women to adjust and adapt what they have to say to achieve their own agenda but also to preserve alliances with colleagues. For example, a senior woman succeeded in getting her team to accept a tough decision by asking them to step into her shoes and visualise the issue from her point of view. She said, ‘See my problem is that if I have to go to the Board and ask for another million pounds, then the consequence will be…..’.

In another example of a meeting, a woman said to a male colleague who hadn’t spoken but was looking agitated, ‘I can tell you want to say something, Simon, please share your views’. These examples showed a heightened ability to predict colleagues’ concerns and respond to them while remaining clearly in authority.

How far do you still think women need to adopt male ways of behaving to progress at work?
I see so-called male ways of behaving as part of the ‘strong’ version of DvD. The ability to speak assertively is a vital part of effective leadership communication for both women and men. The knack is to judge when it is necessary to speak assertively and when it would be wiser to use an alternative strategy. So a woman leader I observed who judged she wasn’t being taken seriously about her decision on a controversial issue suddenly did a ‘role-break’ by saying ‘come on guys, give me a break will you, we’re getting f*****g nowhere with this.’ People sat up and listened.

The use of role-breaking out of the conversational frame in order to speak assertively if required can be a very effective strategy alongside more conciliatory approaches.

When you were at school did you imagine having the academic life you now have? What were your aspirations then?
I felt I was given a very limited set of options as I was sent to an academic, all-girls grammar school which expected the most able pupils to go to university and then on to teach, and those who were viewed as less able to go to a teacher training college. That was the choice: teach, or if you were a really hopeless case, go into nursing!

I do wish I had been given some careers advice about entering the business world; I didn’t even consider it and yet it might have suited me better than the academic world, who knows! Today, I am the first to suggest the business world as a career to our English graduates as I think they have many of the right aptitudes: criticality, excellent communication and social skills, creativity. However, I do love being an academic; it gives a certain freedom.

Have you had a role model in your career? Or someone who has supported and encouraged you?
I would like to say my mother but it isn’t true, much as I love her. If there is a female role model, it would be the Vice Chancellor at Aston, Professor Julia King, who is one of the few VCs in the UK, despite the predominance of women at middle management level in academia. She has championed the cause of women leaders by appointed two pro-Vice Chancellors who are women, and two (out of five) Deans who are women. This is almost unheard of in British academia!

She also has the personal touch. She knows about my work and encourages me by sending me details of conferences, interesting articles and contacts for my research. My research has even been discussed on the Executive Committee and Council, always good for the ego!

Which person in the public eye do you most admire and why?
I think Helen Morrissey is very inspiring. From what I read, it really is a case of ‘I don’t know how she does it’. She meets all the superwoman criteria of running her own business, being paid a super-sized salary, having dozens of children, sustaining happy family relationships, looking slim and glamorous, and alongside all that, she seems a really decent person who says down-to-earth things about women, the work-life balance and leadership.

I hesitate to say this, but I also think the pop star Madonna has been a source of inspiration. I doubt that she’s a particularly nice person or that she is good at social relationships which I usually think is essential. But she has an extraordinary drive and sense of self-discipline which has allowed her to achieve against the odds and to display an amazing range of talent. I think young women could learn from her.

Do you think your research applies to women in academia as well as in business?
Indeed I do. This could be a long discussion so suffice to say the same pressures exist in academia as they do in the business world for men to succeed at the expense of women. It was in a University Senate meeting that I heard a senior woman who had only spoken twice say ‘I’m talking too much, I’m talking too much’.

There has been much talk of late about quotas for women in the boardroom. It’s something I have come to believe has to happen to change attitudes, albeit a conclusion I’ve come to with reluctance. What are your thoughts on quotas?
Yes I would agree too, because it is a necessary counter force to systemic pressures to promote men at the expense of women. I believe that if we can move towards a gender balance in the boardroom, the gap between a male and a female style of speech would disappear. Both men and women would use a broader range of linguistic strategies akin to the strong version of DvD.

What’s the best piece of advice you have ever been given?
I used to be very nervous about giving talks, even though I was a teacher in my early days. I still get nervous but in a good way. I was given this advice. If you have to give a talk, a speech or a presentation to a room full of strangers who you know nothing about, act as if you know them. Look them in the eye, take them in, speak as you would normally speak to a group of people you do know, don’t prepare jokes and the natural rapport will emerge.

What advice would you give a young woman with her sights set on the boardroom?
My advice would be to learn to use the strong form of DvD to your advantage! What this means in practice is learning that language is a powerful resource to achieve your own ambitions while preserving alliances with team members and colleagues who matter. It is a case of judging when to use humour, politeness, authority, role-breaking tactics, scenario setting, visualising and other DvD strategies to their best effect. Yes it can be quite manipulative, but always in a good way, as you are using it to manage people to bring the best out of them, while making a powerful impact on others.

How do you relax and unwind?
Hmmm. There isn’t much time for that as I commute from home in Hampshire to Aston University in Birmingham. I used to ride and own horses when my daughters were younger, but now I enjoy simple walks in the country at weekends with my husband and dog! I also love going to the theatre, high brow and low brow. I have seen Shakespeare’s All’s Well that Ends Well  and the Wizard of Oz in London recently.

If you could choose an alternative career, anything at all, what would it be and why?
Almost certainly a theatre director. When I was younger, I directed a number of plays in schools and colleges and it was magical. I can but dream!

I’d love to see what would have happened if you’d put your talents to use in the theatre world! I suspect more older talented women actors might be around… Judith, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, it’s a fascinating topic.

If you’d like to see find out a bit more about Dr Baxter her University link is here and she has a blog called Leadership Talk which makes reference to her project. This link will take you to her book page on Amazon.

N.B.The Speak Up course in November will be utilising the research of Dr Baxter, as well as Dr Simon Baron-Cohen amongst others, to look at how women can make an impact in their careers. We’ll taking some of the latest research on gender difference and turning it into practical, useful information that women can use to successfully further their careers and achieve senior positions. Take your place on that board! This course can also be adapted to be run in house; call me 01761438749 to discuss your particular requirements.

Inspirational Woman – Ceri Wheeldon

Ceri Wheeldon is the driving force behind what is fast becoming one of the most influential on line magazines for women today. Her site Fab After Fifty is dedicated to changing our perceptions of being a women over 50 in the 21st century; it’s really hit the Zeitgeist meaning Ceri is a very sought after woman. So I am very pleased to have grabbed some of her precious time to bring you this interview with her.

Jane: Ceri, you are the creator and owner of the enormously successful Fab After Fifty online magazine. It has really hit the Zeitgeist hasn’t it? And very well deserved as it’s a great resource for women. What gave you the idea?
Ceri: A number of things came together at once! I was 49 when I first had the idea. As a headhunter I could see that women over 50 were finding it increasingly difficult to be considered for senior roles, I had friends and family members affected by ‘empty nest’ syndrome, and there appeared to be a lot of ageism in the media. It was reading a letter to an agony aunt (while sitting on a delayed flight) that I had my ‘lightbulb’ moment.

A women was finding her 50s difficult- expecting a positive, supportive response I was horrified to see the agony aunt tell her her life was effectively over and she should buy a rocking chair and knit! She suggested a couple of over 50s websites to her. I checked them out when we landed and saw that the sites really didn’t inspire, and I felt didn’t reflect women over 50 as we see ourselves. 50 is not old, and women over 50 are vibrant, intelligent and in their prime!

I decided to create a positive, supportive site which offer a forum for women over 50 to come together to learn, inspire and support each other. I was very lucky to gain the support of several ‘experts’ who have been happy to give their time and expertise to help inform and inspire us the make the best of our lives.

Do you remember what your very first job was and how much you got paid?
I can remember my first job was to work on Saturday afternoons demonstrating the Stylophone (made famous by Rolf Harris) in the run up to Christmas in one of the stores my father managed. I wasn’t officially old enough to work so I got pain in doughnuts and extra pocket money! I remember being disappointed that a every last one was sold- I didn’t even get one myself for Christmas!

You obviously have a great entrepreneurial spirit. Where does that come from? Was there anything in your childhood to give an indication of your future career?
I do remember being involved in a fundraising project when I was in the brownies- we were each given 2 shillings and 2 weeks. While everyone else washed cars I set up a conveyor belt at home and got the whole family involved in making ‘gonks’ out of bits of felt, cardboard, stuffing and buttons. I sold them at school, buying more supplies from my first sales and took pre-orders to make sure I could sell them. I also made in extra colours so people would buy more than one each.  I made more money for our ‘pack’ than the rest of the brownies put together. Plus my ‘project’ wasn’t dependent on good weather!

Did you start out with a career plan? How did you manage your career?
I had no career plan. As I chose not to go to university I was under pressure from family to at least be involved in a profession- so I became a trainee accountant- I hated it! I was always expected to be the wife of an executive rather than be an executive myself! It was when I was living in Canada in my twenties (I went there with husband number one’s job) that I was interviewed by recruitment company for a role with one of their clients. It just so happened that the group CEO sat in my session and decided he wanted me to work for them- I was offered a role as a researcher- even though I hadn’t applied for it! Within 2 months I was promoted to consultant and in less than a year promoted to manage the company’s executive search division- despite being a woman and far younger with less experience than anyone else in the organisation.

Before deciding to return to the UK my role had grown to manage all of their permanent recruitment operations across Canada. I was headhunted for a role back in London- not the best move – but subsequently set up my own business, initially as part of a partnership ( I sold my interest in this) and then on my own. There was no plan- it just evolved. I always said that I would do something different when I turned 50 – I had no idea that it would be ‘Fabafterfifty’!

Research shows that women often suffer from a lack of confidence and self esteem in world of work. Have you encountered that in your head hunting role? In your experience do you think it’s an issue more prevalent amongst older women than their younger counterparts?
This is a difficult one for me to answer as the industries I have recruited in and the roles I have focussed on have tended to be heavily male dominated. One of the issues being that the types of roles I have filled- Programme Directors and CTOs for multi-billion pound international outsourcing programmes-  have typically required extensive travel- which has not been easy for women to manage with family life.

The women I have encountered, mostly in the area of Change Management, however, have all been confident professionals where their ability to multi-task and use their ‘softer’ skills have been seen as advantageous. I think where older women are at a disadvantage is where younger people in HR have a perception of 50 being old – they still have outdated views. Also, as 60 was seen until recently as the retirement age for women, there was a perception of women in their 50s winding down and preparing for retirement- obviously this is not the case and a perception we have to change!

What do you think is one of the biggest obstacles for older women in employment?
One of the biggest obstacles is perception! We must make employers see that 50 is virtually mid career and not the end of working life! Women themselves do need to make sure that they are employable by ensuring that their skills are up to date and they look after their health and fitness. They can’t compete in the youth stakes but they can still show they have energy and vitality. They have to stress their ability to multi-task and fewer distractions in terms of demands on their time.

I’ve recently been involved as a careers expert for a project with the Times newspaper looking at employment issues for the over 50s looking for work. A big issue was they hadn’t fully appreciated their own skills and how they might be of benefit to a prospective employer! Their best attributes were absent on their CVs.

Have you ever experienced femageism in your professional career? By which I mean not just ageism but that particular form of discrimination particularly prevalent in the media whereby older women are put to grass backstage.
That started when I was in my mid 30s! One of the reasons I set up on my own! I can remember my then MD telling me I was no longer a ‘spring chicken’ and so my options within the company would be limited.

What is the best piece of advice you have ever received, personally and professionally?
I think one of the best pieces of advice I was given was very early in my career by my then CEO – he told me not to afraid to make decisions. He said he would back me 100% in any decision I made- right or wrong- but not if I sat on the fence. Its a premise I’ve lived by- not that all decisions have been the right ones!

Ceri, knowing you even for a short while it’s clear that you are a very hard working woman (as all successful women are). Who supports you? Where do you get a shot of injection and enthusiasm when you need it, or a supportive shoulder, or a swift dig in the ribs – choose whatever applies!
My husband is incredibly supportive, together with a small number of close friends who have known me for decades. There are one or 2 special ‘twitter’ friends who are always quick to give me a quick prod if they can see I need one!

Who or what has been your biggest source of inspiration professionally?
I’m not sure that I can name a single source of inspiration- I always been driven to be the best I could be in whatever I did – I probably got this from my father. He always stressed that in business you had to act with integrity and deliver good customer service – and that there was always a newer  and better way of doing things – if you didn’t find it someone else would!

What has been your best career moment to date?
I think being offered roles in Sydney and New York- both of which I declined- but it was flattering to be asked! I’m hoping my best career moment is yet to come!

How do you relax and unwind?
There are those who know me who would probably say that I never relax and unwind! I’m only happy if I’m busy!! I do enjoy spending time with friends but probably only truly relax when I disappear off to the South of France and potter around Antibes.

Which woman in the public eye do you most admire and why?
Margaret Thatcher- for succeeding in a man’s world. Also the Queen for her exemplary commitment to this country and seemingly boundless energy with no retirement in sight!

Do you have a favourite saying or motto to share?
Don’t put of till tomorrow what you can do today!

What advice would you give to women about ageing (gracefully or otherwise!)
Age is just a number! Don’t be complacent or afraid to try new things. Constantly learning and being open minded will keep you young at heart! Have friends from different generations and see life from their perspectives. At 50 one in 7 of us may live to be 100- make sure you celebrate the best half!

Ceri, thank you so much! I’ve really enjoyed talking to you- your enthusiasm is infectious and certainly inspiring!

And if you’d like to visit Ceri’s web site FabAfterFifty, simply click the link and see what all the fuss is about. You won’t be disappointed!

3 Amazing Women Share their Success Secrets!

If you’re a regular reader of ChangingPeople you’ll know that one of my favourite sections is my inspirational women section. Over the years I’ve interviewed some amazing women who all have some great advice to share. I have picked out just three very different women to share with you in case you missed them. All different but all amazing!

Natasha Courtney-Smith is a journalist who set up her own hugely successful business. Read about how she managed to thrive despite an unexpected pregnancy!

Sarah Beeny is the well known TV presenter but did you know she ended up presenting because of a chance encounter at a party? Well that, and the fact that she’s very good at what she does!

Gee Backhouse actually did what so many of us dream of doing. She packed herself up and moved to France to follow her dream. Where she now makes gorgeous bespoke jewellery and lives la bonne vie!

I hope you enjoy reading about them and more importantly I hope they inspire you to make some positive changes in your own life! If you’ve been thinking about making changes, maybe it’s time tomake your thoughts a reality! Who knows, maybe I’ll be interviewing you next year?

There’s more here about working with me to make positive changes in your life!