Put Away Childish Things

It’s funny how some things stay with us forever, isn’t it? When I was at school each term began and finished with St Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, from the King James Bible, which contains these words:

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.  For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.  And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

The religious aspect had little impact on me but the words and their meaning have always stayed with me. Little did I realise then how often they would resonate with my coaching many, many years later! U.S. President Obama also used them in his inaugural speech.

Impact of Stress

What I have learned through both experience and study since the 40 plus years since I first heard those words, is that when we are under stress of any sort, like a change imposed upon us, we sometimes resort to those childish things. We revert to comforting ways of behaving from our past, whether they are helpful to us or not.

So my coaching questions to you are:

What behaviours from your childhood are still helpful to you? (It might be a way of comforting yourself, your ability to make friends, how you learn new things and build your confidence)

What is it now helpful to jettison for once and for all? (It might be the equivalent of temper tantrums- anger you can’t always control, comfort eating, holding grudges, sulking)

What prism do you view the world through, your’ glass, darkly’?

And does love play a big enough part in your life?

Change – How to Survive Tip 2

The first casualty of change is truth.

If you are in an organisation undergoing major change you will know that communication is vital. All organisations know this and every single book on managing change tells managers to communicate, communicate and communicate!

And in my experience, all organisations start off with good intentions but become lapsed communicators somewhere along the way.

The reasons are many. Maybe the person in charge of communications suddenly finds their own job at risk and goes to ground. Maybe the project is floundering and no one wants to say so openly. But more often it’s because for long periods of time there is no real change. And organisations make the huge mistake of saying nothing.

And we know what happens to a vacuum? Someone helpfully fills it.

Managing Change Tip

Always try to distinguish between you know what as fact, actual fact from a reliable source, and what is conjecture, rumour, speculation and gossip. If you hear something about the process try and check it out. Try not to get drawn into discussions of how awful everything will be because actually, that makes you feel awful! It’s fine to let off steam now and again but endless discussion of how bad it all is will really bring you down and limit your ability to cope.

What’s Your Perfect Working Day?

One of the reasons I wrote ‘When Work isn’t Working’ was the number of coaching clients who came to me dissatisfied with their work. People were unhappy with the job they had, for all sorts of reasons, but just didn’t know what to do instead.

And so I wrote a creative visualisation especially for them, which is in the book, and is now available for you to listen to!

Free Download

Simply reading a visualisation doesn’t work as well as hearing it. Which is why I have recorded it and it is on the site, entirely free of charge for you! If you have the book already, you will find it enhances all the exercises you have already done. And if you don’t have the book, don’t worry – it works well on its own too!

Just simply click on the link to the right of your screen called ‘Your Perfect Day’. You don’t need to enter any details. You can either listen to it directly from your computer, or, (recommended) down load it to a player and take it somewhere calm and relaxing for you, where you won’t be interrupted.

I hope you enjoy listening to it and that it takes you closer to achieving your ideal job! Please do let me know what you think!

Your Secret Partner?

A quick brain teaser!

If circumstances forced you to go into partnership with one of your professional rivals, who would you choose….and why?

I’d love to hear back from you, but maybe it’s best to use alternative names….we don’t want to start a run on the pound!

Make A Connection

How many people do you ‘depend’ on in your work?

Which people do you need to be working well with you to ensure your work goes well?

Write a list. Include everybody that has a part to play.

Now, how many of them do you have a good relationship with? How many of them have you made a connection with? From Postroom to Payroll, there is no substitute for a genuine relationship, showing an interest in the people who are important to you.

Could be a good exercise for a Friday afternoon….?

Mind Your Language!

The next time you are faced with a colleague or member of your team who is ‘being difficult’ try changing your language about her/him.

Substitute the word ‘difficult‘ for ‘different‘ and try and work out what makes them different. And then see if you can work with the difference, not the difficulty.

It’s the emotionally intelligent thing to do!