Happy in Your Work?

When did you last have a really good day at work?

When you came home and felt that was a day well spent?

When you were filled with a huge sense of achievement?

When you thought ‘job well done’ and other people acknowledged your efforts?

I hope you can remember this easily and it will have been recently. But if not, try and think back to what when it last happened and how you felt it about it.  Your thoughts on this subject will give you a big clue about where you should be looking for that next job.

Team Work?

If it included working as a team, maybe that’s when you perform best. Or maybe you were given a project to see through to completion making full use of all your completer/finisher and organisational skills? Perhaps you had to take a few risks and learn something new? Or maybe you were flying high working in an area that feels really comfortable to you?

It’s all really vital information in helping your longer term planning about positioning yourself where you want to be!

And if you’re still  feeling really stuck there are plenty of practical exercises in ‘When Work Isn’t Working’ which could really help move you on to finding the job that is a dream for you!

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Inspirational Women – Veronica Akinyemi

Veronica, you are the founder and Director of Smart Opportunities for Women, an organisation to promote the interests of working women. What inspired you to start this enterprise?
I have always been passionate about motivating and supporting people (especially disadvantaged groups) to develop personally and professionally.  I decided to set up Smart Opportunities for Women (formerly Employ A Woman) as a result of my personal interaction with various bright women who have worked, or still work, in job roles well below their capabilities and potentials.

I observed that certain women give up on advancing their own careers as a result of various issues such as motherhood, cultural influences, unsupportive and discriminatory work environments, lack of confidence, inadequate family support etc., and was keen to make a difference no matter how little.

As part of my academic research, I discovered that the UK is yet to fully tap into the skills portfolio of women. The statistics by various bodies clearly shows that women have a long way to go especially in leadership positions and certain job sectors.

Why do you think women need a site to themselves?
Historically, women have been subject to unfavourable treatment and practices. I believe that initiatives such as ’Smart Opportunities for Women’ will play a crucial role in bridging some gaps and achieving specific diversity objectives; a network/site/group of events where women are able to meet and network with other outstanding working women within a safe and comfortable framework.

It will give their confidence a major boost and help them to effectively manage their careers despite the obstacles which they might face along the way.

Veronica, you grew up in Nigeria. When did you come to Britain and how do you think that experience has impacted on your career development?
I was born in London but grew up in Africa (the south-western part of Nigeria) before returning to the UK in 2004. My parents made a crucial decision to ensure that all their children gained a thorough understanding of their ethnicity and cultural values.

Looking back now, I believe that they made the right decision. My personal experience of two totally different worlds has helped to shape me into the woman that I am today. I grew up in a stable, loving and Christian environment, and was fortunate to attend some of the best academic institutions.

The African society places a very high value on education and my parents spared nothing to ensure that my siblings and I received the best education. My parents worked in the IT/ Engineering sector, and my brother in the medical field, and this put huge pressure on me to choose a career path along these lines.

I spent close to five years of my life studying Industrial Chemistry that was of very little interest to me. It was a very torturous journey for me but I stayed on as I had no other choice.

When did you finish formal full time education? Did you have any idea of what you wanted to do when you left school?
I finished my first degree in Industrial Chemistry in March 2004. Whilst growing up, I had an interest in a couple of professions such as Journalism, Advertising and Catering. I also enjoyed reading my dad’s management, business and development books.

At this point I knew I wanted to do something which involved a lot of contact with people (not chemicals!), but was not quite sure how this would translate into a career.

Did you follow a plan?
I returned to the UK in May 2004. My first port of call was a careers advisory service in Essex, where I discussed various options with an advisor. Once I started my job as an Advanced Apprentice within the training team of a London local authority, I had a plan!

The plan was nothing complex, just a diagram of myself with various arrows indicating the jobs that I would love to do and by when. Included in the plan were qualifications. I have always been very flexible with my career plan and this has paid off.

You have a gorgeous twenty three month old son and eight week daughter. How do you manage to juggle motherhood with your career?
I don’t know how I do it! I believe God gives me the grace I need for each day. Motherhood is a totally different ball game and one has to be very hard working and plan well in advance. Sometimes I feel like screaming!

What has been the happiest moment in your life to date?
Marrying my first love and childhood sweetheart, Anthony and having our wonderful children.

What do you think is the secret of happiness for you?
I have learnt to be proud of who I am.

How (if ever) do you relax? What keeps you going?
I never miss my daily ‘hot’ (I mean hot!!!) baths. This helps to soothe any sore muscles. My faith also plays a crucial part. Each time my battery needs to be charged, I pray, meditate and sing worship songs.

Who has been the most significant and or influential
person(s) in your life to date?
I have a strong nuclear family network and have benefitted from knowing some very inspirational women. My husband’s belief in me and my abilities is simply fantabulous.

What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in life?
Our purpose as humans is to live a life of purpose. I have learnt that I can do all things through God’s help. I need to use all my gifts on earth and die empty.

If the present Veronica could give some advice to the 18 year old Veronica what would it be?

Get up Veronica – Turn your ideas into reality! I should have started ‘Smart Opportunities for Women’ a long time ago.

Thank you, Veronica and good luck with the upcoming events! You can find out more about Veronica’s business here.

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Why Women Mean Business

Why Women Mean Business is probably the most frequently referenced book in my library! It was published in 2008 by John Wiley & Sons and written by Avivah Wittenberg-Cox and Alison Maitland. Well done them!

If you are in business at all, male of female, I recommend this book to you.

If you are a woman looking to move on, I recommend this book to you.

If you are an academic studying gender issues, I recommend this book to you.

And if you’d like a sound economic case as to why women should be properly catered for in today’s workplaces, I recommend this book to you.

You will have gathered by now that I thoroughly recommend this book!

Why?

It is a well researched account of some of the issues women face at the top of organisations. But it’s not a rant or a moan. It’s also a guide on how to remedy them, packed full of useful advice, facts, statistics and case studies.  It makes the business case for women in senior roles, not simply an ethical one. And it’s eminently readable.

Here’s an extract from Chapter 5  ‘Seven Steps to Successful Implementation’.

‘Becoming bilingual begins with a shift in perspective. It depends on recognising that responsibility for better gender balance lies with all managers, not just with women. It focuses its efforts on teaching the current majority to become bilingual, fluent in the language and culture of both men and women. Only once all managers understand that the methods and messages used to recruit, manage and evaluate men do not necessarily work for women will women’s talents stand a chance of being accurately recognised and optimised.’

You can watch the authors talk about their book here and you can buy it from all good book shops, borrow it from your local library, encourage your workplace to acquire a copy, or purchase it via Amazon

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Women on TV

A new report commissioned by Channel 4 to celebrate International Women’s day, shows that there is still a distinct gender bias when it comes to women on TV.

Femageism

If we needed any evidence that femageism is rife in the world of broadcasting this report provides it. On TV only one in 4 in every 10 women are aged over 40. And for every ten men on TV 6 will be aged 40 and over.

‘Soft’ Topics

The study, carried out by Dr Guy Cumberbatch of the Communications Research Group, also found that although women do appear to be well represented on TV across the spectrum, the way they are used is markedly different from the way men appear.

In light entertainment, comedy and drama women make up 4 in every ten participants. In the field of serious broadcasting, Dr Cumberbatch’s team found that women made up only a third in factual programmes. And when it comes to the news, we have only a 31% share!

However, when topics such as health, culture and cookery are covered on the news women feature 69% of the time. Men were much more likely to be discussing the topics of politics, science, international affairs and the economy. And women aren’t even asked to give their views! When it comes to general vox pops, women are asked for their opinions only a third as often as men.

Diversity

Oona King is Channel 4’s Head of Diversity (once again I ask the question-bearing in mind women actually make up slightly more than half the population -  should we still need to be included under the ‘diversity’ tag?) said:

” This pilot research measures the gap between what we see in the real world, and what we see on TV, and is the first step in developing a comprehensive measurement of how well TV represents and portrays different groups on screen. Fundamentally, this is about how we view our world and which groups are hidden from view or significantly under-represented. The gender gap here is quite startling.”

Sadly I am not startled at all. Maybe art is merely imitating life………….

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How to Start ‘Awkward’ Conversations

I was recently asked for some advice on the thorny topic of starting awkward conversations. (I wasn’t asked about finishing them - that’ll be another post!)

An awkward conversation might be one where you need to be critical of the other person, as in they are continually late for work and expecting you to cover for them. Or maybe you need to raise a topic that is potentially embarrassing, for example, working alongside someone with unpleasant body odour, or who is behaving in an inapproriate manner to you.

Non Direct Route

You may have tried out all the subtle and not so subtle methods.

‘Phew, what IS that smell?‘ said to no one in particular being one of the not so subtle variety, or raving loudly in the office about this amazing new shower gell you have found!

Similarly, someone who is perhaps invading your personal space, standing too close, or making very slightly suggestive comments that leave you feeling uncomfortable, may not respond to your continually moving away, standing behind chairs, and resolutely not laughing at their innundoes!

When the non direct route fails it’s time to have an assertive conversation!

Be Assertive

Now is the time for honesty while still being very respectful of the other person. Being assertive is not about winning or scoring points: it’s about having self respect and respect for the other person. It is very respectful to treat them as adults and actually discuss with them what is bothering you, adult to adult. They might not like what you say, but done properly it need not be disrespectful and may lead to an enhanced relationship all round!

Start Here

First, you need to let them know you want to have a chat with them and this usually needs to be in private. Find somewhere where you can both be comfortable if at all possible so not a busy corridor but preferably an empty office. (NB But not when you’re being assertive with the person who is behaving innapropriately! Then you need to be able to speak without being overheard but still be visible to colleagues and friends. You don’t want to give a mixed message and add to any potential embarrassment).

When I’m working with groups on assertiveness I don’t usually give out any form of words because everyone is different; you have to be able to say it in your own words, or you’ll feel silly and sound insincere! But as this post is about starting those awkward conversations, I have included some phrases which may work for that awkward beginning:

Use their name when possible, make appropriate eye contact and remember your body language is saying far more than your words; if you look shifty and uncomfortable they will receive what you say in that mode. Aim for ‘concerned and professional’, not ‘embarrassed and tortured adolescent’.

Beginning with pleasantries about the weather may be helpful but more likely they will be a liitle anxious about what you have to say so don’t irritate them by going round the houses. Be pleasant and direct.

‘Could we have a word in private, there’s something I’d like to discuss with you’.

‘I have noticed that you’ve been late a lot recently. Is there a problem I can help with?’ (Bearing in mind that your help is not going to be continually covering up their lateness!)

The body odour one is difficult and you have to be prepared for them to take umbrage initially, but you could try:

‘Forgive me for being so personal, but it’s so out of character for you that I wanted to have a quiet word. Are you aware that you have been giving off a very strong odour of late? Are you unwell/on tablets/particularly worried by anything?‘ (Even as I write this I am cringing but I have actually done this! Spoken to someone I mean, not given off an odour- at least no one has told me…)

‘I appreciate that you have a friendly nature and other people are comfortable with your style but I feel uncomfortable when you (insert) and would prefer it if you (insert what you do want them to do).

Try not to let anxiety about what you have to say give you a bad case of the blurt, or sound angry or aggressive. Take a few deep calming breaths and mentally rehearse what you are going to say.

These are just a few tips to get you thinking. It’s also useful sometimes to consider why we find some things so difficult to say. This may be linked to our own feelings of confidence in ourselves and fear of the consequences. Remember, you have a right to respectfully express your views to another person- and they have the right to do the same!

More on this is available in the free download that comes when you subscribe to my newsletter.

Professional Relationship

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My Thankful Day

I woke up this morning having gone to bed mulling over a problem. The problem hasn’t been resolved by magic, but I have woken up feeling enormously thankful for all that I have – and I don’t mean material things (although I do covet my wood-burning stove at the moment!)

And so I am having a thankful day, all by myself.

The challenge for me will be to convey my thanks without people thinking I am in need of extra care and attention, or sounding like a born again thanker!

Who are the people in your life that you would like to thank right now? Just do it: they will appreciate it and you will have added something worthwhile to today!

Do let me know who you feel thankful to…oh and thanks for reading this post! I appreciate it.

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