What Two Simple Words Are Stopping You?

Are there two simple words that are holding you back from getting on at work? Or from having  a better quality of life? From living your life to the full?

If (there’s a clue) you find yourself oft repeating “If only…” you’ve found your two words. Two simple words that are holding you back.

If only I were cleverer…

If only I had a better boss…

If only my manager was female…

If only I lived somewhere else…

If only I had more money…

If only I was thin…

If only I could get a seat on the board…

Stop Wishing, Start Planning

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride” This phrase dates back to the 16th Century, we humans have been doing this for sometime! Basically it says stop wasting time merely thinking about stuff and go and do something!

Which is my message today. Every time we get stuck into the ‘what ifs of life we are giving away our personal power. You are extraordinary. You have amazing potential; tap into it. Take back control of your personal power. Decide what you want in life. Critically evaluate it. If your dream seems impossible at the moment, start with a smaller one, one that starts you off on your path. Get help, retrain, sign up for an evening class, start saving, get support, professional and personal. Do whatever you need to do to start making your what ifs a reality!

If this has struck a chord, take a look at When Did You Last Put a Toe in the Water?

Photo Credit: Naveen Saxena

Great Idea Ms Jones… Would a Man Care to Say It?

OK, I know it’s a cliché but sadly it’s a cliché that still rings true for women in the professional world. If we’re not careful we get overlooked and over talked. That’s not my prejudices coming out there; that’s the results of almost every piece of research looking at workplace interactions.

Why?

Every time I read something or hear someone I’m working with make that comment (or express that sentiment) I wonder how can this still be true? There are lots of differences in the way men and women communicate. One is not better than the other, at least not in my book; we need both styles to have a representative society that works for the majority, not 50% (Or only works when the other 50% adopt the style of the dominant 50%). The world is comprised of men and women, roughly in equal numbers, yet one style of communication has been set as the bar, the standard all are judged by.

Speak Up

I have read masses of research and books on this topic and generally speaking no great surprises are revealed. The circumstances vary but in summary, women talk less and get listened to less yet the perception is that women talk more! Which says volumes about how women’s talk is regarded.

So as a professional woman what can you do? Well, being aware is part of the answer. Take time to notice how you speak in mixed groups. Do you hedge your language with ifs, and buts and placatory ‘I’m sorry to interrupt’? Is ‘sorry’ an over used word in your repertoire?

You can’t control what others may do or say, but you can control you. Speak with confidence, expect to be listened to, give that message in all the language you use, bodily and verbally. Your words need to be congruent with every other piece of information you’re giving. And remember, if you don’t have confidence in yourself, and in what you’re saying, no one else will!

Working On Your Career

If you’d like to work directly with me on this or any other issue, simply give me a call to discuss it further. I’m on 01761438749 and I’m looking forward to hearing from you!

Photo Credit: Mjamesno

Take Once a Day, Every day!

How often do you treat yourself? How often do you release that inner child and simply have fun and play? On holiday? When you have friends around?

Most of us probably don’t do it enough. Psychologist Dr Nick Bayliss says we ought to be doing it every day. Twenty minutes each day of ‘time out’ time can make you feel great!

20 Minutes of Fun

So, here’s your challenge for the rest of the week. Take 20 minutes and fill it with doing something you love. Be as spontaneous as possible. Maybe you’ll resurrect your old piano skills and tinkle up and down the ivories? Perhaps you’ll pick up your old sketch book? Make a cake? Or simply be and stare at the trees noticing the changes Nature is bringing?

Try it out and let me know how you get on! And do share your favourite 20 minutes of fun time! (if you can…) You could spend your twenty minutes day dreaming! Check out this post on Dream and be Happy!

Photo Credit: Melbia

Time for a Change?

In the UK the clocks went back an hour in the early hours of Sunday morning, which means most of us in the UK feel we’ve gained time!

We haven’t really, of course; there is always simply all the time there is, to be philosophical for a moment! And time is relative. When we’re doing something we love time passes in a flash. When we’re with people who radiate and make us feel good about life, time passes in a flash.

But when we have a job we loathe, when we’re with people who put us down and drain us, time passes slowly; having ‘more time‘ is not always good for us.

How is your relationship with time? Are you making the most of your time?

If you’ve enjoyed this wee post you might like to try my drains diet!

Photo Credit: J. Nichols

The Best Way for Women to Advance their Careers!

This is the final post in a series of three about the latest Catalyst research The Myth of the Ideal Worker (see Does Doing All the Right Things Really Get Women Ahead? and What Every Woman Needs to Know About Work)

In brief, the research found that even when adopting the same strategies as men, the strategies generally viewed as effective, women do not advance at the same pace as their male counterparts. Of all the strategies used the most effective career strategy for women was making their achievements known to significant people, with networking also proving almost as effective for the women as the men.

Questions for Employers (and Women!) to Ask

Catalyst ask some searching questions at the conclusion of their report; they are good questions for women to ask of their employers, or potential employers too:

• What assumptions do organisations and individuals hold about skills and behaviours that are necessary for successful advancement?
• How are women and men being coached to get ahead? Are assumptions being made that what has worked for men will work for women (see Speak Up)
• What explains why women are less satisfied with their advancement and compensation progress when comparing themselves to others in their field and at their level? Do women know what male counterparts are earning?
• To what extent are people advanced and compensated based on skills and performance?
• How might strategies used by women and men be evaluated differently?
• How are individual contributions communicated and recognised for people who work in teams?
• If women realised that changing jobs negatively impacts on their pay, what does that mean for for organisations seeking to recruit experienced women, leveraging their skills and experience?

It’s a minefield out there at times and this research seems to bear out my own prejudice that male norms prevail in all areas. How can women get ahead if the received wisdom for getting ahead primarily suits men? I am reminded of the fact that for many years all information put out about to how to spot the symptoms of heart attacks were only the symptoms that applied to men. Women have different symptoms but it had been overlooked.

I am looking at issues such as these and at how you as an individual can minimise the impact, in my Speak Up course. It seems not only shouldn’t you have to behave like a man to get ahead, but even if you do, you’re disadvantaged!

What Every Woman Needs to Know About Work

Welcome to my second post on the Catalyst research into how people get career advancement. It’s called the Myth of the Ideal Worker; in brief it says, even if women follow all the advice and conventional wisdom to advance their careers it seems it still doesn’t produce the same results as it does for men. (By the way, if this topic interests you take a look at my posts on Career Tips for Women)

Conventional Career Wisdom

Conventional wisdom imparted to ‘high potentials’ all coalesce into 9 main points, says Catalyst. They are:

• Actively seeks high profile assignments
• Rubs shoulders with influential leaders
• Communicates openly and directly about their career aspirations
• Seeks visibility for their accomplishments
• Lets their supervisor know of their skills and willingness to contribute
• Continually seeks out new opportunities
• learns the political landscape or unwritten rules of the company
• Isn’t afraid to ask for help

The research set out to see if these strategies really do get ‘high potentials’ to the top and if they work equally well for both men and women. What they discovered was that men benefit more from following the strategies given. Even when women follow all the strategies given above they got ahead less and had less pay. Although you’ll be pleased to hear that Catalyst thought it better than doing nothing at all!

Previous research from many sources, including Catalyst has dispelled the myth that women don’t progress in either salary or status because of lack of ambition (Pipeline’s Broken Promise). Catalyst made sure to get as representative a group as possible by looking at 3,345 ‘high potentials’ with same educational achievements , no career breaks etc.

Most Effective Strategies for Women

Of all the strategies listed above, only making their achievements known and gaining access to powerful others had the greatest impact on women’s career advancement. While changing jobs worked as a tactic for men in increasing salary, it seemed to have the opposite effect for women and changing jobs did not pay off for women.

Given what we know about women’s reluctance to blow their own trumpet this is significant.

In my next post I’ll be looking at some of the assumptions which may be talking place in organisations. Is this is a classic case of the business world has been designed to suit men? To heretically paraphrase Shakespeare,

“The fault dear Brutus, lies not in ourselves but in the way the way men have organised the world….”

Don’t forget I have a great new course on this Speak Up, when we’ll be taking a very in depth personal look at what research like this really means for you.

Photo Credit: Faahkir Rizvi