What’s Your Work/Home Balance?

A few weeks ago I was at a conference hosted by Pepsico, listening to one of their top women executives talking about the company’s philosophy on work life balance. I found it interesting.

For example, they don’t talk about work-life balance as work is part of life. Instead they refer to work/home balance, a much better description sending a subtle message.

Pepsico believes that workers contribute more at work when they are able to bring their whole selves to work. In the last few years they have introduced some very home friendly working practices which has had a huge impact on all staff, but particularly on women in their organisation.

Coaching Question

And one question they asked all employees at their annual appraisal is one I am sharing with you now as it’s such s good one. (Slightly paraphrased)

If you could set one goal in relation to your work/home balance what would it be, and what do you need from your employers to achieve it? Be clear and specific, and then be assertive and ask for it!

How do you manage your work/home balance?

Put Away Childish Things

It’s funny how some things stay with us forever, isn’t it? When I was at school each term began and finished with St Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, from the King James Bible, which contains these words:

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.  For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.  And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

The religious aspect had little impact on me but the words and their meaning have always stayed with me. Little did I realise then how often they would resonate with my coaching many, many years later! U.S. President Obama also used them in his inaugural speech.

Impact of Stress

What I have learned through both experience and study since the 40 plus years since I first heard those words, is that when we are under stress of any sort, like a change imposed upon us, we sometimes resort to those childish things. We revert to comforting ways of behaving from our past, whether they are helpful to us or not.

So my coaching questions to you are:

What behaviours from your childhood are still helpful to you? (It might be a way of comforting yourself, your ability to make friends, how you learn new things and build your confidence)

What is it now helpful to jettison for once and for all? (It might be the equivalent of temper tantrums- anger you can’t always control, comfort eating, holding grudges, sulking)

What prism do you view the world through, your’ glass, darkly’?

And does love play a big enough part in your life?

The Paradox of Change

The Universe is Change; our life is what our thoughts make it.

Marcus Aurelius Antonius

Change is a paradox because actually nothing ever stays the same; all is change. Our bodies today are not the same bodies we had yesterday. There have been masses of tiny changes, small but incrementally they add up to something very significant. I do not look the same person from 10 years ago, but I don’t notice a significant change in my appearance today from yesterday, yet I am different.

In nature the changes may appear slow as we go through the seasons, watching day to day changes in plants and flowers, the weather.  There is a cycle of nature which we understand. And yet nature can surprise us often with volcanic dust clouds, heat-waves, floods and earthquakes. It is changing all the time.

Understanding that life is constant change is a fundamental concept to grasp if we’re to manage other changes in our lives successfully. Everything you have experienced has brought you to today, is part of you today and impacts on you and your future. You have an extraordinary and immense capacity to cope with change.

You are truly amazing!

Change – How To Survive Tip 4

What is your attitude to change? Can you change your attitude to change….?

Before you can do the latter you need to be clear about what you think. Ponder these questions:

Change Questions

• How do you feel about change?

• Do you regularly initiate new things, have new thoughts on old subjects?

• What’s your instinctive reaction when you hear something is changing?

• How do you feel when you visit an old haunt where all has changed?

• How do you feel if the office furniture gets moved?

• What things in your life do you believe to be sacrosanct i.e. must never be tampered with?

• What things can you let go off easily?

• What changes can you see on your horizon over next 6 months?

• How does thinking about future changes that make you feel?

Now write a paragraph to yourself describing how you feel about change- it’s just for your eyes! Did anything surprise you?What changes (if any) would you like to make in your response to change?

This is part of a series on managing change. If you want to be certain of getting every post you can sign up for them simply by putting your email address in box at top of this page. And of course you can unsubscribe at any time.

Follow Your Dreams!

In a recent article Jane Asher, actress and  successful businesswoman said, “If you have the choice, pursue what you enjoy”. Good advice, as long as you know what it is you enjoy!

When coaching I am always encouraging women to follow their dreams, whatever they are. And it is the knowing what we want that can sometimes be difficult. So many of us know that what we have is not fulfilling us, but just don’t know what we want instead (which is why I wrote ‘When Work isn’t Working‘.)

Any Age

Whatever age you are, it’s worth investing some time to work out what you want to be doing with your life. It may be something you can’t possible ever imagine achieving at this point in time, but it’s always good to have an aspiration. Knowing where you’d like to be in life will help you with all your decision making.

Maybe you have what currently seems like a fantasy of giving up the safe and reliable day job and instead running your own business? It may seem an impossible dream now but there will be things you can be doing now right now which will take you nearer your goal.

Free Help

For example, did you know that the tax office in UK provides all sorts of free seminars for would be business people? Or that Business Link has masses of information freely available on its web site? Get yourself a dream folder and when you see something helpful, put it in your resource pack!

Or maybe you can take up a part time role, perhaps unpaid with a charity, which will help you develop the skills you need to achieve your ultimate goal when the circumstances are right. Remember, luck has been defined as preparation meeting opportunity. Successful people in all walks of life have taken advantage of opportunities that have come their way but they have almost always put in the leg work beforehand.

And don’t let age stop you! Many dot com millionaires are still in their teens when they make it and equally many who have achieved their dreams have done so later in life. I was in my late forties when I pursued my dream working life! And Beryl Cook, at one point the most famous popular artist in Britain, didn’t sell a picture until she was in her sixties!

So what is your dream for your life? And what can you do right now to help take you a step nearer?

And if you’re not sure, please do try out my free visualisation- simply click the link up on the right ‘Your Perfect Day‘.

Role of Women in Innovation & Capitalism

I am featuring an interview with Avivah Wittenberg-Cox in a forthcoming newsletter (sign up here if you’re not already a subscriber).

Avivah is the co-author of ‘Why Women Mean Business‘ and sole author of ‘How Women Mean Business‘ addressing gender bilingualism in the business world of today.

Here is a short video of Avivah, live at the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation & Development). I hope you enjoy listening to her! Click here.