Can You See Your Future?

One of the most frequent dilemmas presented to me when coaching is

” I don’t like where I am but I don’t know where I want to be“.

Knowing where you want to be does not mean you’ll automatically get there, but it does help you make the right choices on the route!

It’s difficult sometimes; we all have a natural tendency to focus on what we don’t want, or don’t like. It’s much harder to be clear about we actually want.

So I have something to help you! If you click on the free audio download to your right you will hear me reading my specially written visualisation. It’s specifically designed to help you work out just where it is you want to be by tapping into your creative subconscious.

I wrote it as a companion to my book, but it works well alone too. You can, if you wish, download it to listen to at your leisure. Somewhere without distraction is best, where you can lie down, relax, and devote some time to what you really want from life!

Enjoy it!

Your Success!

Most of us would say we want to be successful in life. But we would probably all differ in what we think of as success.

My idea of success might be your idea of not that wonderful and vice versa!

So take a few moments to try this:

What does being successful mean to you? Go with your first thoughts!

Success is……………………………………….

Success is……………………………………….

Success is……………………………………….

Success is……………………………………….

Success is……………………………………….

Did your answers come out as you thought they would?

Three Coaching Questions for You.

We’re in a time of change. Even if you’re not directly affected, you are probably feeling some of the uncertainty that’s in the Zeitgeist. Feelings can be contagious, good or bad.

Three coaching questions for you:-

• How do you feel at this point in time? Are any feelings of concern or anxiety based on the actual facts of your life, or what you think might happen?

• Is it within your power to do anything about the situation at the moment, at this point in time? If so, start planning to do it. If not, why are you advance worrying?

• What is the worst thing that you think might happen? And the best…?

End of the Weekend Blues?

If you often find yourself feeling a bit down as the end of the weekend approaches, maybe it’s time to think seriously about what you are doing the rest of the week!

When you feel fed up with your job it’s hard to motivate yourself. So you stay stuck in a place that doesn’t excite or inspire you.

Even though jobs are thin on the ground at the moment, you can take action to put yourself into the right place for when the jobs market picks up. There are still jobs out there but you have to be much more proactive.

Here’s an exercise adapted from ‘When Work isn’t Working’ which will help you start to take some control.

Exercise

List all your friends, family,colleagues, acquaintances. Think widely across your network to include home, work, hobbies, faith groups, union/professional groups, everyone you can think of.

Supporters

Now, take a long, hard, honest look. In that group who are your supporters? Supporters may include people who can offer you emotional support and those who can offer practical support. Differentiate between the two.

Who on your list might hold you back? You might find, surprisingly, that the same person can pop up in both camps. Friends or family who give you emotional support can be the same people who tacitly encourage you to stay where you are. It’s not done from malice, more a fear of change. When we change it impacts on those closest to us.

Look at your list and pick out those who can help you, either with new skills, introductions, experience, advice, enthusiasm or maybe signing up to an evening class with you, or introducing you to a networking group.

Have you asked them to help? Make a note in your diary to speak to them this week. Take back some control and  perhaps Sunday evenings will soon be your favourite time of the week. When you have a job you love, it really doesn’t feel like working at all!

What advice has worked for you?

What’s Stopping You?

“Our lives can change with every breath we take. That is why we have to let go of what has been done.”
Author Unknown

One reason we can find change difficult, even when we really want the result making the change will bring, is because changing to something new means losing something. Change and loss, as well as change and gain are inextricably linked.

If we haven’t worked out what we’re afraid of losing, we’ll find reasons not to make the change. And we usually do this subconsciously, so our inability to make positive changes puzzles us…

If you have struggled to change your life for the better it’s worth taking considered time to ponder this question:

“What might you be afraid of losing?”

Women With The Lid Off!

I was listening to radio discussion recently when I just had to chortle out loud. The discussion was about convertible cars and it seems that they are most often bought and  driven by women over 50!

In the spirit of disclosure I had better own up to being a woman over 50, who was driving her red convertible car while listening to the radio! However, I obviously buck the trend as I was 49 and a quarter when I bought mine…..

I listened to the discussion with obvious interest. It wasn’t a deep discussion and had a light hearted touch, but one comment struck me. Asked why she had a convertible, one woman replied that buying it was symbolic of her having reached an age when she could do things just for herself.

And I very much identified with that. Like all the women on the panel, I had never bothered much about cars at all; they were utilitarian objects chosen because of their price, carrying capacity and ability to fit child seats in easily! And suddenly, it seemed, I found myself with a daughter who has her own car, a son away at University, and my husband who drove (still does) a wreck of an estate into which anything will fit! For the first time in my life I had no restrictions at all. I could afford the car I wanted and the insurance!

So maybe buying my car was a little act of middle aged defiance? Maybe, I was saying this is me, roof off, hair going crazy, independent me!

What has been your best or most enjoyable ‘act of defiance’?

PS Car in picture is NOT mine. Mine has a button to open the roof!