Author Archive
Be Like A Strictly Dancer!
OK, I admit it. My name is Jane and I am a Strictly Come Dancing addict. I hope you’re not shocked!
The show is compelling to me; I think it’s partly because you can watch people very proficient in one field, trying to be proficient in another. You can see them trying to transfer skills learned in one area to another complicated task.Their motivation to succeed is very strong (in most cases!)
Unsurprisingly, the sports people tend to do well. Much of what we know about motivational psychology has been learned in the sports arena and you can see it being played out each week.
So try this as a wee exercise next time you have a few moments. What skills, qualities and attributes do you have that would stand you in good stead if you were asked to do something totally different tomorrow? How would you manage if your job changed overnight? Imagine you are writing a letter to apply to be on Strictly (or similar). Give them all the compelling reasons to pick you, and tell them why you and all your transferable skills would be wonderful!
Just Enjoy!
Today is my birthday. I was born in 1955 and today I am 55 years old. There seems a certain symmetry about those numbers.
Age has never bothered me and I have never lied about my age (except maybe in a pub once or twice….) OK, I have never pretended to be younger than I am!
I love the wisdom that comes with ageing. I think we should celebrate every passing year for the experience and wisdom it brings with it. And I will be doing just that, having a really joyful day with people I love.
And just to spread that joy, here is a link to one of the most uplifting videos I have seen recently. Please do watch it if you can spare 5 minutes. I guarantee it will make you smile. Dance and be happy! I will be!
Have a great day!
The No Diet (do something different) Diet Book
I am about to embark upon an experiment and if you’d like to join me I’d love to have you along!
I know so many women who are worried about their weight. I’m most definitely not a diet consultant, and I’ve given up dieting, having finally realised that they never work and you always pile on the weight again! But the topic of weight usually emerges in any informal conversation between women at some point. And for many it is a cause of unhappiness.
The No Diet Book?
So I am fascinated by a book I have stumbled upon which claims that changing your habits can help you reach your ideal weight without ever thinking about food or starving yourself!
Usually I’d consign anything making such claims straight to my ‘nice, but deluded‘ bin. But this one is co written by some pretty respected people (Professor Ben Fletcher, Dr Karen Pine, & Dr Danny Penman). I have already reviewed ‘Sheconomics‘ co-authored by Dr Karen Pine and found it to be full of sound good sense, so I actually bought this book out of curiosity to see what they have to say.
The book is called ‘The No Diet (do something different) Diet Book’ and is based on the premise that by actually doing different things, increasing your flexibility and attitudes towards life, you will actually settle at your optimum weight. Strong stuff! Yet, I sign up to much of what they say and use many of the techniques when working one to one or in my courses to help people make positive life changes. Hmm…
I am halfway through reading the book and not a mention of banned foods or exercise! It’s chock full of some really interesting facts and lots of accessible science.
Trial
Now in all honesty, I can’t tell you whether this book is good bad or indifferent, as I haven’t followed the advice. But I am intrigued enough to try. It contains some straightforward instructions to follow so for once, instead of dispensing the advice, I’m going to try taking it. And I’ll blog most week ends on my progress. For example:
Step 4 – Go for a 15 minute walk. Think about your life and what you want from it.
That’s exactly what I recommend on my courses. In fact, if the weather is fine I encourage participants to go and do just that! The authors have a whole month worth of habit changing tasks to try which they claim will help you change your behaviour around eating:
“To cut a long story short, the results of our research at the University of Hertfordshire boiled down to this: you are overweight because you’re trapped inside a web of habits that prevent you from losing weight permanently. It doesn’t matter how determined you are to lose weight, if you don’t overcome the habits that keep you fat, you will remain forever overweight. Break these habits however, and you will effortlessly lose weight”
The authors recommend trying this out with a friend so you encourage and support each other. If you’d like to try this out with me, you can get the book from most large bookshops, or they’ll order it for you (ISBN is 0 75287-400-4, publisher is Orion) or get it direct via Amazon
And look out for the updates!
Why Am I Turning Clients Away?
I suddenly realised that I have turned away quite a few clients over the last three months. No, I haven’t suddenly turned into a prima donna (well, I don’t think I have) but I have had several enquiries from people who actually weren’t in the right place to take advantage of coaching; for me to have taken them on would have been to have taken advantage of them.
In each case the people concerned were in quite distressed states. I am not qualified as a medic but I have worked in the field of psychiatry and can usually tell when someone is depressed as opposed to miserable or fed up. I always offer a free session before anyone signs up for coaching (in fact, if I don’t know the individual, I insist on it as all good coaches do). That session is a two way process. It’s for me to find out what the person is looking to achieve from coaching and for them to check out if my style suits them.
Depression
And just lately I have been speaking to people who are clearly very distressed and looking for a very quick fix. I think this is a sign of the times we’re living in. Sometimes coaching can provide a quick answer but not when, as in these cases, the problems are deep seated. In each case the person has been very vulnerable and I have advised contact with a GP, and recommended action where they don’t need to pay a fee. When they have been insistent that I am just what they need, I have asked them to check out with a doctor and call me in a month’s time if they still think coaching will be helpful.
It’s great when they come back on a more even keel and better prepared to get the most of the coaching experience. And when they don’t, I just hope that they have received appropriate help and no longer need coaching, and have not been taken in by some of the spurious claims made for miracle cures.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t just abandon them; I offer my support and advice as far as I am able but I am very clear that sometimes coaching is not the answer!
If you are considering coaching, there is more on this subject here.
How to Stay Motivated When You Hate Your Job? Tip 3
In times of economic downturn people are less likely to move jobs and the market becomes stagnant. This can cause motivation issues even if you love your job (no progression etc), but if you really can’t stand your job…it’s hell! There are a lot of people staying in jobs they’d rather leave. So how can you keep yourself motivated?
In tips one and two we looked at managing feelings, and doing some groundwork on CVs. In tip three I am suggesting that you take some time out to really understand what it is about your current role that you don’t like.
WORK OUT WHY YOU DON’T LIKE IT
Ask yourself the following questions and answer as honestly as you can:
- Is it the attitude of other workers?
- Is it too undemanding of you?
- Is it too much of a stretch for you at the moment?
- Do the value of the organisation jar with your own value system?
- Is it the management style?
- Is it lack of prospects?
- Is it poor pay?
- Is it the office environment?
- Is it the geographical location?
It’s important to understand why this job doesn’t do it for you, so you can be more specific about what you actually do want!
There are more exercises like this in ‘When Work Isn’t Working’., a workbook to help you find your perfect job!
How to Stay Motivated When You Hate Your Job? Tip 2
Don’t stop planning for the next step. It’s a cliche but it’s true:
Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.
When the job market isn’t buoyant it’s tempting to sit back and think there’s nothing you can do. If you’re not careful you’ll get very comfortable gently moaning away about your lot to sympathetic clucks from friends, only to be caught unawares when an opportunity arises!
So my second tip is -
MAKE SURE YOUR RESUME/CV IS COMPLETELY UP TO DATE
Don’t wait until a job appears and then go into panic mode to get your act together; take the opportunity now.
And if you’ve never considered it before, how about getting a professionally written resume? In the grand scheme of things it doesn’t costs a fortune and could be the difference between getting your application onto the interview pile and not.
Plus, a good professional will ask you some of the searching questions that will stand you in good stead at interview. Obviously, CVs should be tailored to the particular requirements of any job you’re applying for but it’s always good to have a base line to work from.
Professional Support
If you want to find out more and get some good tips on CV writing, I recommend you drop by the site of Julie Walraven. You can find her by clicking here. She’s based in the US but does most of her work on line. Or swap with a friend. You write hers and vice versa. Seek advice from knowledgeable friends, making it clear that you want an honest opinion. This is important.
Once you have begun to take some action, to take control of your own future, you’ll begin to feel better about yourself and your confidence levels will rise. Which, by the way, makes you a much more attractive proposition to a prospective employer!
