An Introduction to The Myers Briggs Type Indicator

What is MBTI?

If you’ve ever taken an MBTI assessment you will know the answer to that. If you haven’t, the answer may surprise you!

MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) is a personality assessment tool and was developed by a mother and daughter team, Isabel Briggs Myers and her mother, Katherine Cook Briggs. Katherine was very interested in the theories of Carl Jung and believed that if there was a way of putting a practical application on them it could greatly benefit individuals. She began this work between the two world wars but the MBTI assessment tool is still being developed and refined to this day.

Jung talked about types of personality and after several years of literally watching people, Myers put together the first paper and pencil questionnaire to assess these types.

Please note- it is a questionnaire never a TEST. You can’t pass it or fail it. It’s not based on the idea that there is a right or wrong way to be, like so many other psychological assessments. Simply put, it helps you appreciate your own strengths, gifts and potential for development. It also helps you understand and appreciate how and why others may differ from you and can be a really useful tool when coaching. Unlike other psychological profiling, the respondent has to be comfortable with their type. If you answer the questions and don’t agree with what the end type, then your view is paramount.

How Does it Work?

Very briefly, the MBTI assessment takes eight types (or attitudes) that are grouped into pairs. The pairings are:

Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I)
Sensing (S) or Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)
Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)

The respondent, after discussion with a qualified practitioner like myself, completes a questionnaire. The questions have been designed and refined, so that you will almost always fall into one of the pairs (or dichotomies), which is one reason why it is so well respected. You then get given your 4 letter type. I am ENFJ, for example. It’s not perfect, nothing that relies on us to give our responses is, but its reliability is very high.

Myers and Briggs, following Jung’s theories, believed that we all have innate preferences for one aspect of the pairings and this is the one we will pay attention to developing, that will just come naturally to us, like being right or left handed. It doesn’t mean that we can’t do the other, or become extremely skilled at it, but we may have to consciously develop that side of ourselves.

What Are You?

Undertaking Myers Briggs will help you determine whether you are Extravert or Introvert, whether you use Sensing or Intuition, Thinking or Feeling, Judging or Perceiving. By the way, the words Extravert and Introvert were coined by Jung and have been absorbed into the English language but along the way the meaning (and the spelling) has altered a little.

To further explain the differences, when we commonly talk about people being extrovert we mean sociable and outgoing while we use introverted to mean shy and perhaps a little withdrawn.Jung had a different meaning! When he talked about an Extravert he meant those who orient their energy to the outer world,who gain their energy from looking outwards. Introverts direct their energy to their inner world.

Party Animals

Here is a short story to help make it clearer. It’s Friday night and my colleague and I have a work party we feel we ought to attend. At 4pm neither of us wants to go and we are whinging away about it while clearing our desks. However, we have given a
commitment and it would be rude and unkind to pull out at this stage and so we go.

At the party we are both the life and soul. We talk to everyone; we get up and dance when asked (and even when not), we enjoy the food, the wine, the company and to all intents and purposes we have a great time and no one would ever know we hadn’t wanted to go.

But one of us is an extravert and one of us is an introvert – yet we have both behaved in the same way. My colleague is an introvert. She has genuinely enjoyed the party but it has taken its toll and she looks forward to getting home to her own space and curling up with a book. Then she will replenish herself and the energies she has expended doing something that doesn’t come entirely naturally to her. She needs her private time, although she is very sociable, has great social skills, and not at all shy.

I too am looking forward to going home and resting my weary feet and curling up in bed with a good book. But I have no need of replenishment. I have just gained enormous energy from being with people and doing what comes naturally. I still enjoy my private space, everyone needs a bit of time to themselves, but there is a qualitative difference between me and my friend.

Conclusion

I have found using the MBTI to be enormously helpful, not only in coaching but in my own personal development. I love the fact that it doesn’t preach or tell you you’re wrong or lacking in something! If applied correctly, it merely helps you look at yourself in a way that is supportive and useful. If you would like a consultation or any more information, do contact me.

MBTI, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Myers-Briggs, the MBTI logo and Introduction to Type are registered trademarks of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Trust. Strong Interest Inventory, FIRO-B, SkillsOne, and Davies-Black are registered trademarks and CPI 260, CPI, California Psychological Inventory, the CPP logo, the FIRO-B logo and the CPI 260 logo are trademarks of CPP, Inc.

Don’t Be a ‘Has Been’!

One of my favourite quotes is this one from Lauren Bacall who, when asked about being an older actress, said: “I am not a has been- I am a will be!”

Don’t fall into the trap of thinking life stops at a certain age - because you never made it to the Corps de Ballet it’s all over for you now! It isn’t. You never stop learning and developing. There are always opportunities to realise new things about yourself from reading about different philosophies to creating a whole new career for yourself. Age is not a barrier.

So if you catch yourself saying something like “Well, in my day we…” STOP! You’re alive so it’s still YOUR DAY! Grab it with both hands and enjoy your life, all of your life!

Are You a True Stoic?

Stoic philosophy first appeared in around 350BC in Athens (give or take a year or two!) yet it is still really influential in our society today. It underpins many aspects of the modern, popular, and effective cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT).

In essence CBT is identifying thoughts which cause us problems, have a negative effective on us, and changing them to something more helpful. Stoics had the original idea and (I believe) hold the key to all self help philosophies developed ever since.

What is Stoicsm?

When we talk about being stoic today we often misinterpret it to mean having a stiff upper lip, not showing emotion and putting up with things we don’t much like. Basically we mean almost stifling our emotions rather than dealing with them. True Stoicism is the opposite.

Instead of suppressing our emotions and feelings, Stoicism helps us to understand and control them; then we can feel in control of the negative emotions that feel overpowering from time to time, and can lead to ill health, both physical and mental.

Stoics show us that our feelings of dis-ease (literally unease) come from being mentally attached to something outside of us, such as what other people think of us, looking eternally young, having more money than our friends, continually making unfavourable comparisons with others.

Universal Law

The Stoics believed that the universe is governed by a universal law: the LOGOS, or reason. When we begin to accept change and become less affected by external events over which we have no control, we are living in tune with this divine law. Or, ‘grant me the wisdom to accept those things I can change, the patience to accept the things I can’t change, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two.’

Epictetus

Many years ago when I was working with terminally adults and children, I stumbled on a saying from a Stoic philosopher, Epictetus, and I end all my seminars with it. I have probably corrupted it over the years but the essence remains true. He said:

‘We are not touched so much by events themselves but by the view we choose to take of them’.

These words are on my website and have had a profound effect on how I view my life, and how I help others make sense of how their lives were playing out. Many years later, when learning about CBT in a professional capacity, I was not surprised to learn that Albert Ellis, the founder of CBT had found the writings of Epictetus to be his main source of inspiration.

Practical Stoicism

Try this short visualisation next time life seems overwhelming. Relax, be comfortable and focus for a few moments on how you are breathing. Now try to imagine yourself floating high above the earth, as if from space. As you look down imagine what a tiny speck you are in that whole maelstrom of millions of lives being lived on our planet. Consider what is worrying you against this backdrop and maybe it will help you get a sense of persepctive on your worries.

Another technique to try when you find yourself taking a negative train of thought, is deliberately come up with another interpretation. For example, if an assistant is gratuitously rude to you in a shop and your automatic negative response is to think:’Here we go, another bad day for me, no one is nice to me’. Pause for a moment and acknowledge what you are thinking and feeling. Then consciously change it to something like ‘She’s having a bad day; maybe no one has been nice to her’ and notice how much better that makes you feel.

And finally, try and train your mind to stay with the present, not forever harking back to less good times in your past or worrying about the future. Try keeping a thought journal which may help you identify your negative thought patterns and focus on your immediate environment and that over which you have control. 

‘The Philosphy of Epictetus’ is available from Amazon by clicking this link

Anger- Make it work for you

What to do with our angry feelings is a topic that causes us all concern from time to time; it comes up often in my personal coaching sessions. Anger is one of the most primal and complex feelings in the range of human emotions. Although in itself it’s neither good nor bad, its misuse causes a great deal of problems, particularly if it surfaces inappropriately in the workplace.

Aristotle

The problem with anger, as Aristotle said, is that it’s quite easy to become angry. Getting angry at the right time, with the right person, at the right level, and doing it in the right way is much more difficult!

Difficult Conversations

When you signed up to the newsletter you will have received my free download on handling difficult situations and if anger is a problem for you it’s worth looking at it again.

Anger is not bad per se as it is sending us a clear signal that something isn’t right for us. But if you think it sometimes becomes an issue for you I have a few tips for managing it that may help.

Tips for Managing Anger

1. If you can, try and be really specific about what makes you angry. It can help to write it out as a statement ‘I am angry because….’
2. Look at this statement. Now try and analyse the reasons why this makes you angry. Sometimes you may discover that the reasons are not really to do with an individual; they may stem from old hurts in the past such as being bullied at school, or feeling belittled and not valued within your family. Or you may find your anger is perfectly reasonable. It’s important to give it some thought first before giving vent to it.
3. Think about what you want to say. Really see and hear the conversation happening in your imagination. Now write down the main points. What kind of language were you using in your imaginary conversation? Were you saying things like: “You make me so angry”? If you were, stop there and reread point one. What is that they do which makes you cross, upsets you? That is what you need to describe, the behaviour. Be careful not to rubbish them as a person.
4. Having checked your ‘I am angry because’ statement does it still look O.K.? Reflect seriously on what you want the outcome of that conversation to be. Presumably you don’t want open warfare, but for them to stop whatever it is they do that angers you? And you may want to have a reasonable relationship with them post discussion. This is almost certainly true in the workplace where you want to behave professionally.
5. A core principle of managing your relationship is to treat the other person as you would wish to be treated. Don’t speak to them in front of others and when you are still angry, but arrange to talk privately when it’s a good time for both of you.
6. Similarly, try hard not to get into blaming them with statements that begin ‘You make me so mad…’ Use ‘I’ statements, such as ‘I feel upset when…’
7. Don’t send an e mail in anger. A letter can be fine but always wait at least 24 hours before sending it. E mails can fly off in a click but the damage can be much longer lasting.
8. If you can resolve your issues, great, if not you’ll need to agree to disagree in some way and then find an outlet for your strong feelings. Physical activity is good, like exercise. A good brisk walk can be beneficial on many levels.
9. Remember the power of the way you talk to yourself. If you consistently stoke your own anger with an internal dialogue about it you can become ill and stressed. Instead, try and replace any angry talk with something more calming and positive which allows you to move on.
10. And finally, sometimes we find ourselves angry about situations over which it seems we have no control, like world poverty, or the issue of global warming. Direct your anger well and it can become a force for good. Join a political organisation, or a charity; maybe become a volunteer or a campaigner. Some of the most amazing things we humans have ever done have been borne out of a sense of anger leading people to take action!
    Categories : Articles Tags : anger management, Use your Anger

A Tussie-Mussie is Good for You!

If you don’t know what a Tussie-Mussie is let me enlighten you! A Tussie-Mussie is a small bouquet, and bouquets of flowers, small, large or simply hand picked are really good for you! 

Elizabethan Origins

Tussie-mussies have been around since Elizabethan times and are a nosegay of flowers, grasses and herbs first used to ward off illness and vile smells in the streets – especially the plague, although I don’t think it was particularly effective! You literally walked around with your nose stuck in the bouquet (do you think it works with swine flu?)

The Secrets of Flowers

As times progressed it seems the composition of flowers and herbs were used to give specific messages. In Victorian times would be suitors gave the objects of their affection a Tussie-Mussie filled with flowers and herbs ripe with symbolism. Most young women would either know, (or possess a book that told them), the various meanings of the flowers.

Some plants have kept their symbolic meanings through the years. These include rosemary for Remembrance; ivy for Fidelity; lilies for Purity; laurel for Victory; parsley for Festivity; and rose for Love. Additional meanings include: artemesia for Dignity; basil for Best Wishes; Calla lily for Panache; red geranium for Comfort and Health; hydrangea for Devotion; sage for Wisdom; pine for Loyalty and Longevity.

Flowers Make You Happy!

However, research has shown that our love of flowers goes deeper than just symbolism. The research into the impact of flowers on our emotions was carried out at the State University of New Jersey. A team of researchers explored the link between flowers and life satisfaction in a 10-month study of participants’ behavioural and emotional responses to receiving flowers. The results show that flowers are a natural and healthful moderator of moods.

Flowers have an immediate impact on happiness. All study participants expressed “true” or “excited” smiles upon receiving flowers, demonstrating extraordinary delight and gratitude. This reaction was universal, occurring in all age groups.

Flowers have a long-term positive effect on moods. Specifically, study participants reported feeling less depressed, anxious and agitated after receiving flowers, and demonstrated a higher sense of enjoyment and life satisfaction.

Flowers make intimate connections. The presence of flowers led to increased contact with family and friends.

Make Someone Happy!

I have never needed an excuse to have flowers in the house; it is an extravagence of mine but now I know why! They make me feel happy and generous and good! Research says so! Go on, take someone some flowers today, and don’t forget to have some for yourself. Put a bunch on your desk today!

Ellie Levenson, A Noughtie Feminist!

A Modern Day Feminist

Regular readers of the blog will know that I have oft despaired of the embarrassment (or worse indifference) I encounter when talking about feminism. I was therefore delighted to read a new book, just published, by journalist, Ellie Levenson, which tackles this topic head on.

Ellie (pictured) was kind enough to give an interview to the changingpeople blog so read on to find out more about Ellie and her Noughtie’s Girl’s Guide!

An Interview With Ellie Levenson, by Jane C Woods

Jane: You have just published ‘The Noughtie Girl’s Guide to Feminism’. Could you give the readers a summary of what the book is about?
Ellie:The book is about feminism in the noughties (this decade) and about looking at the many choices and issues that arise in our every days lives and how as women we respond to them. It also looks at what feminism is and tries especially to persuade people who say ‘I’m not a feminist but…’ and then go on to express lots of views I would consider to be feminist to reclaim the word and not be afraid to use it.

What prompted you to write a book on feminism?
A friend of mine wanted to read more on feminism a few years ago and found that while there were many books about feminism from an academic perspective, or written some years ago, there weren’t any that took an accessible look at our lives today. So I decided to write one. In fact there are some that already exist which are aimed at an American readership but I thought we needed one in the UK.

In the book you talk about 4 different types of feminists – the feminisnt, the unintentional feminist, the loud and proud feminist, or the accidental feminist. I like to think of myself as a loud and proud feminist but recognise bits of myself in all of them. Which are you?
I’m definitely a loud and proud feminist. I don’t see anything wrong with being a feminist and in fact I just assume people are until they tell me otherwise or act in an unfeminist way.  The four types I identified include people who act in a feminist way without even thinking about it (unintentional feminists), people who become a feminist after facing discrimination (accidental feminists) and people who say ‘I’m not a feminist but…’ (feminisn’ts).

Do you remember when you first became aware of the idea of feminism?
I don’t – I just grew up with it being part of my life I think. It never occurred to me not to be one.

Ellie you are now a successful freelance journalist. When you left school did you have a clear idea of what you wanted to do? Did you plan your career?
I always wanted to work in the media – even my school work experience aged 14 was at BBC Westminster which I got after writing about 100 letters to different broadcasters. Initially I wanted to work in broadcasting and I volunteered on hospital radio while at sixth form and took part in TVYP (a young person’s weeklong masterclass at the Edinburgh International Television Festival) when I was 17 in 1995. But when I got to university (Manchester) I started writing for the students’ paper, then called Mancunion but now called Student Direct, and loved it.

So after a failed bid for the editorship I took a year off to go travelling then came home and did a postgraduate qualification in journalism and then got my first job for The Lawyer, a weekly business to business paper. I didn’t like it at all and started applying for other jobs on my second day there and left after four months. After some more travelling I came home and, after applying for every job in Media Guardian that week got a job editing Fabian Review at the Fabian Society. That was brilliant – I was in my early twenties and editing and meeting cabinet ministers and other important people. I’d been political before that and a member of the Labour Party but that changed my career really – it allowed me to start freelancing while in post and gave me all kinds of new interests.

Now I freelance part time and teach journalism part time and though I didn’t necessarily plan my career beyond being a journalist, I love the combination of teaching and writing and the autonomy it gives me.

Have you encountered discrimination/problems because of being a woman, or maybe because of being a feminist? (I did not change my name when I married in 1977 and the most venomous reactions, I am sorry to say, came from other women who accused me of not loving my husband enough! I was both amused and dismayed to see exactly the same comment was made to you almost 30 years later!)
I think I probably face discrimination every day because I am a woman, as do men, though it is part of society and not explicit. But I am also particularly interested in the constraints we place on ourselves because we are women – so we don’t put ourselves forward for the same promotions as men for example, or we censor what we want to wear or say.

Most women work in a world of work designed for and by men. It’s simply a fact. If you could imagine a world of work being designed by women for women what is the most significant difference you would envisage?
I don’t really buy into the idea that women would do things differently or that we can’t cope with adversarial situations and are better at communicating and softer skills. But the significant difference I would have is flexible family friendly working practices for men and women.

Who or what has been the most influential figure in your life?
My mum and dad, without a doubt, though also my friends, and since I got together with him two years ago my husband Richard.  I think this is interesting because like many people I am most influenced by the people around me not by big name academics or famous people, though I obviously am affected by reading and listening to people outside of my immediate family and social life. That’s why my book looks at lots of little everyday issues like who does the washing or what clothes you wear,  because it is the everyday issues and people in our everyday lives that we influence most of all.

If you could give the 18 year old Ellie one piece of advice, what would it be? 
My favourite is a piece of advice Anne Enright wrote in her book about having children. She said that if she had any advice to give her daughter when she is older it is to have sex before you go out for dinner, not after! I’m not sure I’d have advice for myself – I’ve learnt  from my mistakes as well as my successes.

Ellie thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. I really enjoyed reading your book, and am sure it will get a wide readership. Thank you

If you’d like to buy Ellie’s book, ‘The Noughtie Girl’s Guide to Feminism’ you can click here and get it on Amazon.

And if you have any comments on Ellie’s book or this article, I’d love to hear them!