I Hate My Job!

Well, actually I don’t hate my job; I LOVE it. But there was a time when I was unhappy at work and really couldn’t see a way out. I was quietly miserable in a ‘good’ job that had ceased to float my boat and the only thing that was keeping me there was the financial security and the prospect of a pension. In time I would have become a sad and moany woman, muttering in corners about a mythical ‘them’ who set out to make life difficult for me (Bet you know someone like that!)

And then one day I woke up! Why was I wasting my precious life worrying about the future and wasting the now? Why was I assuming that whatever I did next would not be as good (and it has been so much better) Why did I think I should be grateful to have the job I had? And why did I think that because I was in my late 40s I was too old to do something different? None of that actually turned out to be true and fear was holding me back. Losing some of that fear literally changed my life!

Resolve to Be Fabulous!

I hear similar comments to those above from women at almost every organisational in house seminar I run. Usually followed by - ‘But you’re so lucky to be doing what you love’. Well, luck had very little to do with it. I worked hard and plotted and planned to get my dream job, and you can too!

I know the economic climate is not great at the moment and I am not saying that making change is easy. However, if you never make a start you’ll never get anywhere. Things will improve and you could be spending valuable time now making yourself fit and ready to grab the changes when they present themselves. You must have heard the phrase ‘Luck is a case of hard work meeting opportunity’

Resolve to put in the groundwork now! Work out what you want to do (my book will help). Make a list of all those who will support you. Plan to retrain if you need to, maybe nightschool, your own reading, or a sideways transfer. You could get get outside professional help like a good coach, or go on a course.  Whatever you do, don’t put it off until better times come along. Start to work on your fabulous future NOW!

Be Happy All The Time? No Thanks!

Regular readers of this blog will know that I do not promote the school of perpetual happiness – that way madness lies! Well, for me anyway…

When I was about 17, a friend sent me a postcard of the type very popular then, which read:

‘Into every life a little rain must fall’. It was accompanied by a kitschy drawing.

I can remember thinking,” Oh I hope not!” But, umpteen years on from that seventeen year old girl, I am very grateful for my periods of rain. They have taught me the meaning of happiness, contentment, and living in the moment.

Happiness means many different things to each of us, and the older I get, the more happiness I seem to find unbidden in the strangest of places (another benefit of ageing!). Like love, you can’t use it all up.

People often say to me that my posts are always so positive, always upbeat, and am I like that? Obviously I’m not all the time. Things get to me the same as everyone else and I have had my fair share of problems. But I know dwelling on what doesn’t work is a very good way to make yourself miserable. So when I am down, I dip into my happiness bank and pull out a happy memory to make me smile, and my mood soon alters.

I often ask my ‘inspirational women‘ when are you happiest? Today I’m asking you! Please tell me, When are you happiest?

Learn More Effectively – Make It Difficult!

Some research was recently published (in January 2011 edition of Cognition by  Connor Diemand-Yeoman et al) which looked at how different type face fonts impacted on our ability to take in the information.

It always pays to maintain a healthy scepticism about research as much of it is done on young students, an easy resource for most psychology departments (in this case I think it was Princeton University and a group of undergraduates). Results don’t always universally transfer to the population at large when other factors are included. However, in this case, the research makes sense to me.

Hard to Read

The researchers discovered that, flying in the face of conventional training wisdom, the more difficulty students had reading a particular font, the more they retained the information. Whereas most of us try to make our training, information (or marketing) as accessible as possible! Maybe we should start to be a little more obtuse…?

Of course, students have  a built in reason to learn; they will tested in some way on what they know. But the research does have a resonance with what we know about how powerful doing things differently can be, why mind mapping works, and why some of the most powerful learning in our lives often stems from difficult and painful times.

So next time someone criticises your writing, tell them you’re actually doing it to help them! And if you have some notes to learn, try altering the font it’s in to something more challenging and conduct your own piece of research! I’d love to know how you get on!

Do You Keep A Diary?

There is a current radio programme where guests in the public eye are invited to read extracts from their teenage diaries and talk about their lives. Very courageous! I’d blush to my roots to air some of my teenage witterings in public…and my Mum might be listening!

It does, however, illustrate beautifully just how far they have come, how they have grown and developed over the years. It’s a real benchmark of their progress in life.

Now I am not suggesting that you air your innermost thoughts to the listening public (!), but in difficult times it can be very uplifting to remind yourself just how much knowledge and experience you have accrued over the years.

Feeling Low?

Next time those feelings of low self esteem invade your thoughts, or you get a knock back at work, take a few moments to reflect. In your mind’s eye conjure up an image of you as you were just before you entered full time employment. In my case, wet behind the ears and convinced I could save the world by being the best social worker ever. I was pretty sure that coming from my working class roots, with my 5 years of further education, meant I knew it all!

And of course, I didn’t. In retrospect I blush. My real learning began when I acknowledged that I didn’t know it all and that the people I worked with were adding in significant measure to my education.

You’ve Come a Long Way

It is almost impossible to go through life with out developing and learning but sometimes we don’t give ourselves enough credit for how far we have come. Whether you kept a diary or not, imagine you are on that radio programme. What knowledge and skills does your teenage self have? Contrast that with the knowledge and skills and experience you now have. Many of those skills, attitudes and knowledge will have been gained in the hard times. In fact, some of my best life learning (in retrospect) has come because of those hard times.

Try asking yourself this question: What three things would you tell your younger self from the perspective you now have on life?

Women and Confidence

I was listening to Deborah Meaden recently, a hugely successful businesswoman and member of the Dragon’s Den TV programme panel.

Deborah was asked why there are so few women in business at her level. She replied that lack of confidence in their own abilities was a huge factor. She used one image which rang so true from my coaching experiences. Deborah described a group of women at a networking or business event, all very successful high achievers. And she said, everyone of them will be wondering why they have been invited and are there in the company of such amazing women!

It is so true! I have spoken with countless women who have a ‘I will get found out one day’ feeling! They think that they are not as good as other people perceive them to be! We know this from research; women consistently undersell themselves on C.V.s, at interview, ask for less money for jobs, bank loans etc.

Come on women, time to sit up straight(!) and know your own worth. Deborah told you so and who are you to argue with her!

By the way, Deborah has a book out, Common Sense Rules which you can order via Amazon or any good bookshop!

An Easy Confidence Boost

It’s not usually that easy to acquire confidence; we normally do it over a period of time and by trying out things until we feel more confident doing them, like public speaking. 

But in 2009 researchers at Ohio Sate University discovered that our posture, as well as sending a message about our confidence levels to other people, can send one to us! 

University Study

The study included 71 students at Ohio State.  Participants were told they would be taking part in two separate studies at the same time, one organized by the business school and one by the arts school.

They were told the arts study was examining factors contributing to people’s acting abilities, in this case, the ability to maintain a specific posture while engaging in other activities.  They were seated at a P.C. and instructed to either sit up straight and push out their chest or sit slouched forward with their face looking at their knees.

Then the students participated in the business study, which supposedly investigated factors contributing to job satisfaction and professional performance.

Positive Traits

While holding their posture, students listed either three positive or three negative personal traits relating to future professional performance on the job. Once they’d done this, the students took a survey in which they rated themselves on how well they would do as a future professional employee. 

The results were amazing. The posture of the students had a very significant effect on the answers they gave. 

Stay Upright and Be Positive!

Students who held the upright, confident posture were much more likely to rate themselves in line with the positive or negative traits they wrote down. In other words, if they wrote positive traits about themselves, they rated themselves more highly, and if they wrote negative traits about themselves, they rated themselves lower.

Slouch Down and Be Negative!

However, students who assumed the slumped over, less confident posture, didn’t seem convinced by their own thoughts – their ratings didn’t differ much regardless of whether they wrote positive or negative things about themselves.  

Act ‘As If’

The message seems clear (at least if it is if research with students translates to the rest of us). Acting ‘as if’, i.e. sitting tall and confidently, actually can increase your positivity and along with that your confidence in your own abilities!

What’s your favourite confidence booster?