Watch Those Hands!

After to our faces, our hands are the most animated and communicative part of our bodies. Interpreting hand movements is not an exact science but there are some general interpretations of what various hand movements mean. See if you agree with any of the following:

• Clenching your fist is usually taken as a sign of anger or frustration
• In most cultures a ‘wave’ of the hand is a sign of greeting
• Open face up palms are seen as a sign of honesty. Oaths of allegiance are often taken with open palmed hands placed across the heart. We put our palms up to show we mean no harm, to be submissive and say we have no weapons, for example.
• Showing off our thumbs by poking them out of the top of a pocket can be a gesture of dominance.
• Rubbing our palms together indicates that we think something good is about to happen.
• Another dominant hand gesture is making a steeple with our hands; fingertips and tops of fingers are pressed together to form a steeple or church spire shape. This is often used by individuals who are, or believe themselves to be, of higher status than the person they are speaking to.
• A hand may be used to grasp the wrist of the other behind the back.  Prince Charles frequently uses this hand position. This is a sign of dominance as the person feels confident enough to leave their front exposed.

What gestures with the hands have you noticed in others and in yourself?

Relax, Relax, Relax!

The week end is nearly upon us and what have you got planned? Of course, having a fire-fighter husband I am very aware that a significant proportion of you will be working;  if you are working in one of our essential services -THANK YOU!

Wherever you are working you will have some free time at some point. How much of that time is yours as true leisure? How many of you have planned out this week end full of activities, shopping, visiting friends and family, housework etc?

We’re all ‘guilty’ of filling our time, packing in masses of activity, particularly at this time of the year. But remember that you need to recharge those batteries from time to time too. So, even if just for a thirty minutes or so but preferably an hour at least, take a bit of time out for yourself. Do whatever it is that recharges your battery. It’s not self indulgence-it’s essential maintenance!

Fabulously 40 Interview

It’s normally me doing the interviews so it was a nice experience to have the tables turned with this interview on Fabulously 40. If you’d like to read it, here’s the link. http://fabulously40.com/article/id/all-eyes-are-on-featured-member-jane-wood-2960/

Give Yourself a Creative Mind Stretch!

Next time you have long journey and find yourself browsing an airport or railway bookstall, don’t pick up your usual reading fare. Instead, move along the aisles to the specialist interest shelves (not the ones high up!) and pick something new to you. So instead of a gardening magazine pick up a science one. If architecture is your thing, maybe look at a photography magazine.

At the very least you’ll learn something new and at best, the creative juices will get flowing and you’ll begin to make connections with the new information you are taking in and your own situation.

Try it and let me know how it works for you!

How to Get Your Point Across!

Do you sometimes feel like no one is listening to you? Does it feel that in meeting after meeting the same old stuff is being trotted out and no one really listens to anyone? Here are a few tips which might help you to stand out more in the workplace, to get your point across and make a real impact!

Six Tips to Help You be Heard:

1) Abandon PowerPoint.

It’s usually dull or overpowering.
We’ve all sat through presentations from someone who has just been on the power point course and use every gizmo going. They either stun their audience into silent submission, or extreme catatonia. People mentally switch off or, are looking at the gizmos not the content. Worse is the person who simply scans in reams of script that no one can read anyway!

If you must use it try to keep to three main points on one page, points that back up what you are actually saying. And don’t turn to look at the screen; keep eye contact with your colleagues.

If it’s the norm in your workplace to do presentations using the dreaded Power Point try leaving it behind for at least one day. Introduce an element of surprise, dare to be a bit different. You might start a trend…

2) Pose a direct question.

Involve your audience from your opening words. For example, if you’re reporting back on sales figures don’t begin with a bald statement of the figures. Try and create a sense of mystery about them. I don’t mean host a quiz (although that’s an idea!) Try ‘Do you remember what sales area broke records for us this last time last year?’ Or ‘How many staff do you think completed our latest on line survey on working conditions?’

Asking a question is open and so requires closing; people’s interest will be piqued.

3) Give Some Details.

Actually putting some context into your talk is helpful. People remember detail and it adds an air of credibility and authenticity. For example, if you’re talking about a trip to another site or office, include some description.

4) Give it Some Height. 

If you are at a seated meeting,stand up when it’s your turn. Studies have shown that people attribute power to tall people. This is an important point if you are a woman and therefore probably shorter than your male counterparts. I’m not advocating teetering about on heels but own your space and inhabit it all. Remember that information is received in many ways but the most commonly quoted statistics estimate:

7% is the actual words that you use
38% is your tone of voice
55% is the appearance of the speaker.

Be careful with that last figure. Words are clearly important but if what you are saying is incongruent with your body language and expression, people will believe the body, not the voice. Look as if what you have to say is important. Be interested in what you are saying; if you don’t look captured by your words it’s certain no one else will!

 5) Be Specific.

When you are explaining ideas use examples that people can visualise easily. People find abstract ideas harder to remember and understand. If you want your ideas to stick try and come up with a good analogy. When we’re told the national debt of a country is so much we generally don’t understand or remember.

However, if we’re told that it’s the equivalent of every person living in London having a massive £100,000 overdraft, it sticks.

6. Men and Women use Different Body Language

Remember that women nod to say “I am listening, I understand, carry on”. Men nod when they agree with what you are saying and they do not give as many obvious listening signals as women.

Do share your most helpful tips for making effective presentations.

Inspirational Women – Author Elissa Stein

Another in my series of interviews with women who will inspire you! Elissa is well known in the US (and I know she will soon become familiar to UK audiences too); she has just published an interesting book on a rarely openly talked about topic of interest to all women!

Jane: You are just about to publish a fascinating book you’ve co written with Susan Kim called ‘Flow’ (available in UK late autumn 2009) Could you give the readers a summary of what the book is about?
Elissa: ‘Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation’ explores anything and everything menstruation—what it is, how it works, and what can go wrong while also delving into sex, politics, religion, advertising, hysteria, PMS, big pharma, femcare, product development, women’s rights, education, menopause, alternatives, with a twist of kitsch and over 150 color illustrations. It’s the start of a conversation women have been kept from having for thousands of years.

That is an interesting topic! What prompted you to write a book on menstruation?
Years ago, my period stopped. I was both too terrified and embarrassed to say anything to anyone for over a year. When I finally went to a doctor and all checked out, he handed me a pack of birth control pills, patted me on the knee, and said “Honey, we just need to jump start your hormones.” But I didn’t want to be on the pill. Even worse, no one bothered to figure out why my period stopped in the first place (anorexia). From that point I’ve wanted to put something out into the world that would help women feel more comfortable talking about menstruation without that deep-seated shame we’ve been raised with.

Elissa, you are now well established in your career as an author and designer. When you left school did you have a clear idea of what you wanted to do? Did you plan your career? If so how?
My career path has been anything but linear. Traditional college wasn’t right for me, so I left after two years and worked my way through a variety of jobs in retail, merchandising, and advertising, while my husband was in law school. After his graduation, I enrolled at School of Visual Arts, to study graphic design. I realized there that I had been a designer my whole life, without knowing that was something you could be when you grew up. In design school, I discovered it was the marriage of images and words that was my path. In fact, at my portfolio review, my teacher said I should go on to get a graduate degree in writing. I burst into tears. But, books later, that’s exactly what I do. 

Have you encountered discrimination/problems because of being a woman, or maybe because of being a feminist? How have you overcome them?
I have been exceedingly lucky to work with people who have been supportive of me. Not only do I design and write, but I’m a stay-at-home mom, working out of the corner of my living room. I’ve called clients from the hospital, in the middle of labor (both times), to explain why a project would be held up a bit.

The advance publicity for ‘Flow’ has garnered praise but also a few brickbats too. Why do you think the topic is so taboo (remember all the fuss when tampons were first allowed on TV?) And how do you deal with the less than favourable comments about your book that are lobbed at you?
As a society, we’ve been trained, literally for thousands of years—it says so in the Bible—that menstruation is dirty and a sign of weakness. Women were taught to keep it a secret at all costs. That mindset isn’t going to die a quick and easy death and there will be countless people perfectly happy to shove the conversation back into the closet. I’m working on thickening up my skin.

Women are a relatively new entry into the world of paid work and we work in a system designed by men for men. If the situation had been reversed, that is women calling the shots from the beginning, how different do you think things might have been? What do you think would be the major change?
What a great question! Not to make too broad a generalization, but how about a work hierarchy structured by people who effectively multi-task, can blur edges, don’t necessarily think linearly, are empathetic and supportive, creative and nurturing? I don’t see a down side to that.

On your blog ‘spiritual pedicures’ you often talk about your family, baking brownies etc. How do you manage the work life balance? Any tips for our readers?
I call it my juggle, keeping all these unrelated balls in the air at the same time. I find what makes it all manageable (and believe me, I can’t always pull it off with style and grace) is making sure I have time for myself. I practice yoga at a delicious studio and that makes a huge difference. Keeping in touch with friends, too, whether at coffee bars in the morning, or online late at night, helps keep me grounded.

Who or what has been the most influential figure in your life?
My kids. I was a different person before they were born. Being a mother forced me to let go, to take chances, to laugh at myself. To give up my eating disorder, to let someone else come first. Profound lessons.

If you could give the 18 year old you one piece of advice, what would it be? What is the most important lesson that life has taught you so far?
If I could go back in time, I’d make this my mantra: Believe in yourself. As for lessons I’ve learned so far? I can’t narrow it down to one. Trust my instincts. Don’t take anything too seriously. Dream big. And embrace that the more I learn, the less I know.

Elissa, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. I hope the book is a phenomenal success and that the taboo is broken once and for all!

You can buy ‘Flow’ in all good bookshops and it is also available through Amazon.