3 Tips for a Great Working Day!

Do you ever think you could get more out of life?

Sometimes I allow my days to glide past without taking full advantage of them. Then I get to the evening and feel vaguely dissatisfied. Yes, I’ve been working all day but I have been more reactive than proactive and allowed myself to respond to events as they have happened, rather than making how I spend my day a conscious effort.

Other days though are quite different and I get to the end bathed in a glow of satisfaction of a job well done! That is often to do with people I have encountered but it’s also when I have taken conscious control of what I am doing. In my case that means making a plan for the day, but that may not do it for you!

Here are three tips for having a GREAT DAY!

1) Think About it the Night Before
I used to work with a Buddhist monk. Each night he would meticulously clear his desk so as to leave it ‘as if he had never been there.’ I have not quite managed that (my desk would be a great study of my personality!). However, what does work well for me is taking a few moments at the end of each day to think about what I want to achieve the next day. It works even better if I write it down, either on post it notes stuck to my screen, or on my whiteboard. Don’t go too mad and make an impossible list. Maybe just list the three things that are most important.

My list for today was:

Write a blog post (tick)

Spend at least 2 hours on my ongoing project (a download version of RenewYou)

Sort out some of my Inspirational Women interviews (I have a bit of a back log!)

I don’t put down on it things that are booked into my diary, such as my discussion today with Jayne Cox. I kind of regard that as ‘cheating’ as that will happen as it’s booked in!

2) Plan Your Unimportant Time Too
Plan in a time when you will do the necessary but not over important things, like chat on twitter, answer e mails, phone colleagues, etc. Conversely have a period of time when you don’t get distracted, like my two hours on RenewYou. I plan to turn off twitter, email etc and just get my head down (although I will have a tea break in the middle!)

3) Work Out YOUR Best Time
Acknowledge when your best time is and make sure you fully utilise that to do your most important work. First thing is usually my best time so I plan that time to do things that stretch me, or that I don’t actually want it to do, as I need that extra oomph to push me along. But you may be different and use your best time to do things you love the most! It’s up to you; the main thing is to make it work for you!

How do you make sure you get the best out of your day?

Take Off Your Pyjamas!

Actually, that’s a message to me; I promise I haven’t suddenly gone all weird on you (well, no weirder than normal!) Read on…

Last week a lovely researcher from BBC’s Women’s Hour contacted me about a comment I’d made on women changing their names after marriage. I didn’t change mine and frankly am always nonplussed that women do, (although I respect everyone’s right to do what they want!) It’s not a legal requirement in UK, more a convention that has its roots in women having no rights and belonging to their husbands, but I’ll step off my women and empowerment soap box and get on with the post!

Radio Star?

The plan was that if time permitted, I would be called to share my views with the panel on the Women’s Hour programme, hosted by Jane Garvey. It wouldn’t really be decided until the day but if I was wanted I’d get a call about 10.00. I had no qualms about what I might say but didn’t expect to be thinking about what I was wearing. This was radio after all!

Now this may come as a shock to you, (!) but when I am working from home I am more likely to be found in old joggers and outsize jumper than smart working gear. And sometimes (sit down now) I don’t even get dressed until I have written for an hour or three and suddenly realise it’s 10.30! I know, it’s totally shocking! I am not always immaculate! As you all are…all the time…I expect. (Although I never coach in my jimjams. I just can’t do it!)

Dressing UP

So, 9.00 a.m. found me at my pc having already responded to several emails and I suddenly realised I wasn’t properly dressed. There was no one in the house, I wasn’t coaching, had no meetings, and the postman’s seen it all before. But I knew I couldn’t stay like that. If Jane spoke to me I am sure she would have known I was dishabille!

So I had to go and get dressed as I do when I’m working, proper working you know, with people looking at me!

I made myself laugh out loud, but actually there is a slightly serious point to be made here. Looking like a scruffy old woman would have taken a little bit of my confidence away. Dressing like someone who knew what she was talking about actually boosted my confidence, even though no one could see me!

It’s fascinating isn’t it? I think most women feel better if they think they look good but I was surprised that it worked even when no one can hear you scream. I mean see you working.

How about you? Are you affected by what you wear even when alone? I’d love to hear from you, especially if you’re women who work from home!

PS All my dressing efforts were in vain as I never got the call! I was mentioned on the show, but no actual appearance. I’m really glad I didn’t go as far as eye-liner now!

PPS. If the knowledge that I always dress well when coaching has enticed you to work directly with me, click here now!

Keep Your Power!

Are you aware just how much personal power you have? I’m not talking about authority you have over other people because of status or wealth, or physical strength, but your inner command of yourself. How you actually feel, regardless of external trappings.

When I am working one to one with people who are experiencing difficulties with colleagues, the issue of personal power is often key in understanding and dealing with the problem. Ask yourself:

“Why are you giving away your power? Why are you letting ‘them’ have this degree of power over you?” (Obviously there are multitude of reasons for that which is why we’re talking in the first place!) Try to fully understand the situation you find yourself in from all angles.

Personal power is a funny thing. You experience a sense of power when you feel in control of your life yet can feel really powerless even if you’re the top woman in your organisation. Feeling powerful helps you achieve your goals.  Projecting personal power appropriately helps you influence others. It’s worth paying attention to it consciously.

Communication is Powerful

Considerable power comes from the ability to communicate really well; think about some of the great orators of our time (and if you’ve seen the film, The King’ s Speech, you’ll appreciate how our influential our upbringing can be, regardless of wealth or status).

People who are in control of their personal power don’t play the blame game much. Once you start blaming, or attributing consequences for you to someone else, you are effectively giving away your power. This commonly translates as:

“They make me feel….”

Stop right there. No one can make you feel anything. It’s the one area you have control. ‘They‘ may wish to make you feel small, insignificant etc but you can choose not to let them sap your personal power in this way. In the free world we all make choices about what we do, where we live, (within reason), who are our friends, what books we read, etc. Once we start allowing other people to control our feelings we are giving away power.

Choose Energy & Optimism

Power includes enthusiasm and optimism and power is related to self-esteem and confidence. So it follows that if you give it away your energy and confidence gets zapped too. And that’s a hard place to recover from. If you find yourself in that position, just ask yourself: “How much will I let this person/situation into my inner personal me. OK, I have to work here,( at the moment), I have to put up with cuts in service, changes in practise, changes in personnel. Or I may choose to stay in this relationship right now for various reasons, but deep within me I can remain intact”.

Become aware of the impact of other people on you, communicate with them assertively but respectfully and keep hold of your personal power!

Take a Hike!

Sorry, did that sound rude? I mean, try to incorporate a little more walking into your life and see if that makes you feel better. But that’s not a catchy title!

Last year I took part in a charity midnight walk over 13 miles, and in preparation walked most days. One of the side effects of the walking was time to think but it was also helping me in other ways.

The repetitive activity of walking, studies show, triggers the body’s relaxation response and so helps reduce stress; at the same time even a 10-minute walk provides an immediate energy boost and improves mood. Nietzsche wrote, ‘All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking. Research supports him; exercise-induced brain chemicals help people think clearly. I often encourage people to walk during breaks in my courses.

And then the snows came and I lost my habit of walking several times a week. Snuggling down by the wood burner was far more attractive!

Sometimes it seems easier to break habits that are good for you rather than the ones we wish we could lose! I am now resurrecting the walking habit (no snow, lighter evenings, should be a doddle!).

Walking isn’t an option for everyone, but there will be things we can all do to enhance our time to think and quality of life. What good habit would you like to rediscover this week?

Too Young to Get Old

Every so often I get sent a book to review that I would actually read myself for pleasure! And Too Young to Get Old by Christine Webber falls into that category.

Subtitled ‘The Baby Boomers’ Guide to Living Life to the Full’ it’s a well written guide to getting older covering all aspects of ageing for women. Christine’s style is engaging, friendly and draws you in. You’ll find relevant case studies and good advice for further reading. And some entertaining cartoons!

The book covers health, finance, relationships - platonic and sexual – beauty, and, as you’d expect from a psychotherapist, mental attitudes to ageing. Christine consults with a wide range of experts as well as using the results of her own questionnaire to women in their prime!

Extract: Livening Up a Long-Term Relationship

Here’s a short extract to give you an idea of Christine’s style and see how she begins to tackle the potentially toe curling (if you’re lucky!) subject of sex and older women.

Often – and rather gloriously – a long term relationship becomes closer and warmer with age. If we’re lucky, the kids are off our hands and we may realise just how much we value the companionship our partner offers. Sex sometimes improves too. it might not have the breathless passion of our earlier days, but many women report it as being enjoyable, reassuring and rewarding – and an essential part of  a genuinely authentic and loving relationship.

And when it’ s not satisfactory her advice is:

…my suggestion is that you liven up your mind, which – after all – is a woman’ s key erogenous zone. Try talking to each other in bed what turns you on. Let your imagination run wild. Frankly, most fantasies would cause havoc if acted out in real life, so don’t actually invite the beautiful young divorce next door to join you; just pretend!

And Finally…

I was taken with the final chapter of the book when Christine talks about simplifying life, in the ‘forest dweller way’. This idea stems from a form of Hindu teaching about the various stages of life. The first part is for studying, the second for marrying and home building. The third stage, (grandparents) is when we can go off and live in the forest, job done. She acknowledges that we’re unlikely to go off with a tepee into the woods but we can create a ‘forest dweller’ state of mind by simply living more simply, appreciating nature, making time to simply be.

If you are in anyway a baby boomer woman, get this book! And if you want to understand a baby boomer woman, get it also! It was published last year by Piatkus and is in bookshops and available via Amazon.

What is Important in Your Life?

The advertising world is very good at telling us what we want to eat, to read, to look like, to wear, how to decorate our homes and so on. It has a vested interest in us ‘wanting’ things so it creates needs we didn’t know we had until they told us! Very few of us are immune ( I speak as someone who has just acquired a flat screen TV- yes, we are very late adopters!)

Most of this is relatively harmless (unless you buy from companies which exploit countries, employees and use child labour!) as long as in our hearts we know what really counts.

Policy, Procedures, Politics & Overload

It’s not just advertising though. In our work we can get dazzled (or dazed) by policies, procedures, promotions,  and politics and start to lose sight of the really important things in life. In the scramble to do our job well, get noticed, fight our corner, we can forget why we work in the first place, what our own bottom line is. Sometimes the higher up the organisation we go, the more disconnected we can feel with staff delivering service on the ground. This disconnect can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction which we fill by trying to do more of the things which took us there in the first place, or buying things to booster our self esteem and provide a justification for what we’re doing all day long.

No One is Immune

I experienced this myself. I started out in my social work career to make a difference, to help people have better lives. Yet the more I advanced the further away I found myself from my original aspiration and the more involved I seemed to get with minutia. It was very seductive for a while, feeling important.

My awakening came when I tried to evaluate just what contribution I was making to the very people I had started out wanting to help. It didn’t feel enough. Occasionally, despite being my own boss, it still doesn’t, and I have to go and reconnect, irrespective of whether this is a good move for my business or my purse!

I  see symptoms of disconnect sometimes when working one to one with senior managers. They can get so fixated on their own roles that they forget what their organisation is there to do, what it’s like for those directly in touch with the public or customer. For example, a while back, while acting in a consulting role, I made a comment that staff would be pleased with something we had agreed (the agreement was achieved with some hearty debate).

“Oh well, as long as they are happy” a senior manager said in a voice heavy with sarcasm, entirely missing the point. The point was not to make senior managers happy but to improve service delivery on the ground; front line staff deliver service on the ground, either through sales, or service. Unhappy, demoralised staff give bad service and do not work well in my experience. Lose sight of that and you are on a hiding to nothing.

By the same token,  your own personal satisfaction falls when you lose sight of your own personal values.

Go Back to the Floor

One remedy for managers is to get back out on the ‘shop floor’, whatever that might be. Actually go and visit staff, spend a day on the ground. get a real up to date feel for what goes on. I know one chief executive who spent a day on a public enquiry desk to better understand what staff were dealing with. It was very enlightening!

It’s a remedy for all of us, when we’re getting caught up in work battles and politics – remember what is really important to us. Keep your foundations solid.

What is really important in your life, and are you giving it the care and attention it deserves? How do you make sure that you keep yourself connected?