To thine own self be true

It’s not easy being a woman in the 21st century, bombarded with generally unattainable images on beauty as we are, being told we can do anything we want as well, (barriers, what barriers?) as well as knocking up nutritious meals in our spare time while channelling Cath Kidston throughout our immaculate homes!

I often work with women who feel they ‘should‘ be something other than they are. The truth is if you’re trying to be something you’re not, something or someone that doesn’t sit comfortably with your value base, then you will always feel out of kilter in your world.  And over time that takes its toll on you. It’s hard to be successful if your heart isn’t in it.

So honour your values, honour what makes you unique, and to thine own self be true.

How do you know when you are being true to yourself? Does your current job do it for you? I’d love to hear from you!

If you’d like to read a little more about values try this What Price Your Value? Or What Does Success Mean to You?

I am in favour of quotas. I don’t agree with Karima Serageldin of Ariadne Capital who said on the programme it’s tokenism and things don’t change. Sometimes you have to force people who have the power, who are in charge and have always been in charge, to make a change. They have no real incentive to change (notwithstanding the fact that their is evidence that boards which feature a reasonable balance for women fare better, read this), when doing so means fewer places at the board table for them. Most incumbents will say it’s a good idea to have more women on boards but won’t actually do anything concrete about it. Or take measures that look good on paper but don’t actually cause a real change in numbers, i.e “Look, we’ve got a woman – now leave us alone!”

I do agree with Maggie Pagano, business editor at Independent newspapers who was also on the programme, who said men don’t feel patronised when they have (relatively) easy access to board seats so why should women (I’m paraphrasing her).

The UK government’s threat to bring in quotas wrought a tiny change when announced but complacency and vested interests continue to rule. We have always needed legislation to change unfair and unequal behaviour in society and we need it now.

What do you think?

And if this topic is of interest to you, do take a look at this interview with Dr Judith Baxter who has undertaken some research into women on boards.

Photo Credit: Carl Dwyer

Testosterone is the male sex hormone and in a recent experiment by University College, London it was given to women in an attempt to see what differences in behaviour it wrought. They wanted to see what effect it had on group working; how the balance is struck between promoting one’s own ideas and thoughts and ambitions, and considering the needs of the group. Problem solving within groups can have have an advantage over individual solutions. (For more on how women compete see We Women DO Compete)

Testosterone Fuelled Women

To explore this tension further the researchers chose 17 women and paired them with a stranger; they were then asked to solve a computer based problem.

On one occasion each pair of women were given a testosterone supplement and on a second occasion a placebo was administered. Results showed that when they had taken the testosterone they worked less well together and tended to prefer their own solution to that of their partner.

Nick Wright, who led the research said:
“Our behaviour seems to be moderated by our hormones – we already know that oxytocin can make us more cooperative, (JCW see  a previous post on this Neuroeconomics-put women in charge) but if this were the only hormone acting on our decision-making in groups, this would make our decisions very skewed.

“We have shown that in fact testosterone also affects our decisions, by making us more egotistical. Most of the time, this allows us to seek the best solution to a problem, but sometimes, too much testosterone can help blind us to other people’s views. This can be very significant when we are talking about a dominant individual trying to assert his or her opinion in, say, a jury.”

Or at work…

You can read the full research paper here.

Photo Credit: Rawku5

They run their own unique wool business, R & B, a  different type of wool shop on line and also are responsible for knitexpo.co.uk.  (Links at the end of the post). But I’ll let them tell their story…sit down with a cuppa in hand and just enjoy!

Jane: R&B You both had quite different careers before coming together to form your business. Could you each share just what your other careers have been (and possibly still are)?
Belinda :Whizz! Where do I begin? Our past informs out future, so… years in a few words ……Born and spent my child-time in Africa. Father was an academic (Prof. of English and Philosophy) and Mummy-darling was… well she was a beautiful woman; a DJ, a journalist, a designer, a jazz singer, a party giver. Our (my sisters’) dresses and nighties matched her bag.

Back to colder climes… Sarum Hall (Hampstead, London), boarding school for a year (hated), at 16 I left Queens Gate (South Kensington); O’ Levels in Art  (A) and Music (A), the rest of my O’ levels I received U (Unclassified) I didn’t turn up or wrote my own diatribe. When I told my father my results he didn’t say anything,later I found a note on my bed: “Everything there is to know is not knowable by each person, so if there is a choice, as there must be, is it not best to let the individual choose their own wisdom and also their own areas of un-knowledge”.

He was an extra-ordinarily clever man. … and my mother studied for an MA in Knitted Textile at the Royal College of Art were my fascination will all things structural, constructed, woolly, made and developed, art and inspiration began. I made a knitted golf club, a camouflage jacket for a toy jeep, a treasure chest for an 8’ clown – well my mother was never conventional. (please see above).

I auditioned for Big Brother 8 (2009), became a housemate, and took part in a few TV comedy shows which led to setting up Screen South West (training people in acting and re-acting to the camera), … which led to role-play work in the corporate and public sector, and then one day I got a leaflet through my door, inviting people in my street to a knitting group, where the proceeds for the knitted articles made at the group were sent to Uganda (!) – Where I was born. So full circle. I thought “umm, to knit again – what fun!” and as they say, the rest is history. Ruth ran, and still does run, the group KNIT 2Tog (I still go – she lives 40 houses away).
Ruth: I was, and am no longer, a therapist. My routes to fixing were through Massage and Bowen therapy, and counselling. I realise that it is not very usual to admit to fixing people as a counsellor, but my training was in CBT. (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

How did you decide to set up the wool business?
Ruth: I wanted to show people how to make my designs, and to make money, quite happy to admit to this, if we are to be taken seriously we have to be seen to ambitious, not apologetic, about what we do.
Belinda: Ruth and I, while travelling to and from the Big Noise Chorus (150+ choir we both attended), spoke about creating a ‘performance’ about knitting. The big KNIT show came about (a trade fair encompassing performance, workshops, chocolates and laughter). The Exeter Arts Centre PR administrator thought of calling it KNIT expo – we went with the flow. We out-grew the art centre, needed a bigger place for traders, lost most of the performance, brought in a fashion show, kept the chocolates and workshops (now called KNIT studios).

Knitting and all manner of crafts has enjoyed a renaissance over recent years (I am quite trendy for a change!). Why do you think that is?
Ruth: Knitting has always had highs and lows in popularity; lovely yarn helps though.
Belinda: We want to shake up the misrepresentation of hand-knit work and take it away from the un-sexy (I dislike this word but I can’t think of anything else that means the antithesis of homey, mumsey, woolly, old and frumpy). People are often surprised that I knit – the answers I am given, if I ask people why they think this, are: you are too young, you wear make-up, you were on Big Brother (!).

I do believe the perception of knitting is changing, however slowly, but it does need a ‘mass huge publicity spin’ to really re-package what knitting is. I agree with you, knitting has become more popular, but to the masses (the status quo), it is still deemed ‘the prerequisite of the grey-haired brigade’. Although, humbly I would like to declare my debt to the fore-mothers and fathers of a hand-knitting history, no matter how it is defined or imagined (negatively or otherwise); no matter that some people might misinterpret it or express doubt about the artistic qualities associated with the art or even see it as the perquisite of the older generation.

Hand-knitting and its curious investigators have changed and are changing the terrain of the possible. There is a huge legacy left for us (technique and styling and methods of working), it is based in tradition and expanded by innovation and can be seen today in some of the contemporary fibre artists and designers. So I mustn’t be too negative or disingenuous. There is some extraordinary hand-knitted work being designed/made.

How does Knit Expo fit into the business plan?
Belinda: KNIT expo feeds the ‘performance’ that I crave, and gives us the opportunity to challenge and present hand-knitting in provocative, entertaining and inspirational environments. It also gives us the opportunity to meet with the movers’n’shakers within the field of fibre art, design, training and development. Ruth and Belinda (the design and products – money making side of our knitting world/life) runs in parallel with KNIT expo.
Ruth: Just selling and designing doesn’t really describe everything we are, we need a bigger platform to shout from, knitexpo is it, although, to save confusion we are bringing it under the R and B umbrella by also calling it R and B interactive.

What has been the biggest challenge in setting up your business?
Belinda: Having to put money back into the business while it grows… – as we are evolving new ideas, products, designs and the R&B concept is morphing and growing, (as we develop and build as business woman and makers) we realise that we need to inject as much money into the embryonic stage as possible. To make something extra-ordinary (which is what Ruth and I both want) means that we have to not cut costs nor compromise on quality. Also –  lack of time – there are not enough hours in the day for me to achieve – … it takes a lot of time to set up/dream/sort/discuss/make/test/create the R&B universe.
Ruth:  The biggest challenge is not being able to see into the future and know that all the hard work and problem solving and correcting mistakes will be worth it in the end. Also having the courage to keep widening the foundations before we build upwards to profit and into the public’s view.

Do you think it makes it easier working with a partner? (careful now)

Ruth: It is only good to work with someone if you can work with them, I suspect that most people would find me difficult, Belinda doesn’t, and we seem to compensate nicely for each other, and are honest enough to work through differences.
Belinda: Definitely. We talk and talk about; ideas, style, design, sense of wonder, technique, exchange of good practice, influence, equality, improvised structure, unravelling and re-forming, dynamics, presentation, texture and colour, emotions and mood, knitting patterns, the physical actions and styles of hand-knitting, creating yarn, the history of knitting, hand-knitting world domination, cultivating true value, worth, making money, projects, dreams, family, ideologies, philosophies…

And we are human and have had different life stories so we come up with different ideas/dream/thoughts, which I believe just gives us a bigger pool of ‘stuff’ to work with. Sometimes I get/Ruth gets it wrong… something we do/think/make it wrong … but we know each other well enough to say when we are not happy. This is good.

How have you experienced the business world? Have you found it easy to negotiate the hurdles involved in setting up a business? Has the fact that you are two perfectly aged women had a positive, negative, or no impact at all?
Belinda: We are working in the world of knitting, so being 45+ has no bearing on what we sell or how we sell it. It is almost expected. Everyone we have met has been so fabulous and generous with their time and advice. We have gained so much from talking to Business Advisers, Fibre artists, hand-knitters, traders, mill owners etc etc.., so many people.
Ruth: The age we are seems irrelevant, what we need is imagination, energy and courage.

What is best thing about running your own business?
Belinda: Autonomy – complete control; being in the position to truly follow our vision.
Ruth: Success and recognition

Who most inspires you? Or has been biggest influence on you career wise and personally?
Ruth: Lesley Prior of Devon Fine Fibres was a huge encouragement when I first started, and has remained so.
Belinda: People who do anything brilliantly, in whatever disciple – people of excellence. AND… new ideas, innovative modes of working, people who have thought/live/lived/lives outside the box; my mother, Ghandi, Billie Holiday, Steve Jobs etc… The struggle has always been inner, and is played out in the outer terrains. Awareness of our situation must come before inner changes, which in turn come before changes in society. Nothing happens in the ‘real’ world unless it first happens in the images in our heads. –  (Anzaldua)

And my children – I have learned more from them than from anyone. We supported them in all their crazy imaginings.Oh and people who treat their children with the utmost respect and kindness. (They are the new generation of thinkers –. To squeeze the ‘being’ out of children might produce obedient pupils, compulsive consumers, compliant workers, submissive citizens, but will it leave us our heart, our empathy, compassion, our individuality, our own thinking, our imagination, our integrity, the feelings which swell us with joy and darken us with grief?)

What would you do differently if you were to start again?
Belinda: Nothing. We learn from our mistakes. We don’t learn anything from out successes.
Ruth: I wouldn’t, we have learned so much by the mistakes, a cliché, but true.

How do you relax?
Ruth: Shut my eyes and dream.
Belinda:Knit and watch cheesy American TV shows: Desperate Housewives and vampire/sci-fi programmes; Supernatural, Sanctuary, talk and laugh with my children (men now), listen to jazz, go to Aqua fit classes, talk through ideas with my husband, knit more (everyday)

What is the secret of happiness for you?
Belinda: Family (love), recognition (work and play), quality (design, work and play), unusual (personality), prestige (wealth and security), Hellmann’s mayonnaise (I collect the lids – I have over 400), quirky (personality, house and furniture), laughter (lots), chocolate (white), mangoes (ripe), yarn (soft), chrome (furniture, knitting needles, bed-frame), leather (furniture, clothes), modern (design, furniture, ideas), Gucci (bags), fluorescent pink (light shades), black and white (OCD: I only wear B&W clothes) and 17 (I count, to keep me safe).
Ruth: A good conscience and visiting the seaside sometimes

Have you a plan for the next five years?
Ruth: To build R and B into a business that people enjoy working in and buying from.
Belinda: 1) A book published; our designs, ethos, vision, reason d’etre, our life2) A TV chat show – (!)/ or a show (live) or film (recorded) on hand-knitting history, chat show, informative, investigative, real life stories… A HUGE national art/performance based hand-knitting project.

If you could give you younger self some advice what would it be?
Ruth: You may not be what you think you are, take some time to find out, safely.
Belinda: Be Braver – do not be afraid…

Do you have a book/quote/motto/advice to share with women who may be frustrated or discontented in their lives at the moment?
Ruth: Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons, it is  like a ripe lemon; sharp and delicious.
Belinda: Quote: Do or do not, there is no try… Yoda (Star Wars). Lyric: Fools rush in, where wise wo(men) never go, but wise wo(men) never fall in love…… I have never regretted what I have done, I have often regretted what I haven’t.

Jane:Thank you both so much.

I know you’ll will want to check out the R&B site after reading this (and I certainly am going there again-the wool is the most divine I have knitted with) and you can do so by clicking this link to Ruth & Belinda. And if you do shop with them be sure to mention where you heard about them! (Not that I’m on commission – it’s simply nice to know).

PS If you like to knit you might be interested to read this Knitting and Pain Relief.

Frequently Asked Questions About Changing People Women’s Courses

• Will I have to do role play?

This must be the most frequently asked question ever! The answer is a resounding no, never ever. Role play is rarely helpful, I find, unless you want to improve your dramatic skills. I am not in the business of making women feel uncomfortable so we can get to the ‘issues’. Poppycock. However, there is plenty of evidence that sharing issues, concerns, ideas etc can have a very positive effect on lessening our stress levels and strengthening our commitment to make positive life changes. So I have built those opportunities into my women’s courses. But it’s private, discrete and you are always in control of what you choose to share with others. There are no soul baring sessions!

• I am a professional woman but I may want to share issues  I’d rather keep private from work
  

Of course, that’s part of furthering your development. I have a very strict confidentiality clause and to my knowledge no one has ever transgressed it. Unless you openly talk about it, for example on twitter or on Facebook or give me permission, I will not even acknowledge that we know each other in public (although I won’t ignore you if we bump into each other in the supermarket!) All potentially personal work take  place in small groups with no large group sharing.

• Do we hug trees, or any equivalent of thereof?

I’m sorry to break this to you, but no. I seldom hug trees (I did faint against a large oak after a charity walk once but I don’t think that counts!). Although if you wanted to hug a tree mid course I wouldn’t stop you; I always try to choose venues with a lovely outside space or restful interiors (like the Royal Crescent Hotel, Bath pictured)! I am a very practical down to earth person. I use what works, what I can evidence through sound research and what I know has worked over the decades I’ve worked with women. I’m happy if you want to consult crystals, chakras, read books about secrets etc and I respect your views. But it isn’t what you get from me.

• What type of woman comes on your courses?
  

All types of women come on my courses! The range is enormous from age, location and profession. Most are working, usually at middle or higher management, or running their own businesses, with a strong desire to improve their working lives. Sometimes, women come after a particularly life changing event (redundancy, separation, illness) to take stock and think about ‘what next’. It’s not always about work. In fact, women much more than men like to look holistically at their lives which is one reason I run women only courses; the issues are different.

Some women keen to progress and others are having an ‘is this what I really want?‘ moment and use a course like Renewyou to work through this issue. Without exception the women on my courses are supportive and helpful and gain as much from talking with each other as from me. That is one of the powerful advantages of working in a well run group. You can read a little more about that here.

Speak Up is aimed at professional women working out how best to work alongside men, and communicate effectively.

• How big are your courses?

I do not run large over filled courses. When working in house within an organisation there may be an absolute maximum of 30, but never any larger. It depends on the course. For my own public courses, when I book the venue and handle the bookings personally, I rarely go above 12 women  and sometimes as low as 6. That way everyone can be assured of some personal attention from me and an atmosphere that’s conducive to getting the most out of the day.

If you have any questions at all about anything on the site, or in the newsletter (sign up in box to right of page) please email me on jane at changingpeople.co.uk or call 01761438749. I love to hear from you!

You might also like to take a look at Personal Development or Training?

“Hollywood Women Unite to Break Through the Celluloid Ceiling

With female scriptwriters behind some of the biggest movies, from Juno to Kung Fu Panda 2, it seems the sexism barrier has been lifted. But has it?

Next week the Athena Film Festival will open at Barnard College in New York. The showcase, which commences on 9 February and is in its second year, is aimed at celebrating women film-makers and rewarding their art and successes. It will consist of screenings, awards and the usual parties, but with a feminist slant. Among those getting accolades will be a group of women in Hollywood known as “the Fempire“.

The Fempire consists of screenwriters Diablo Cody, Dana Fox, Liz Meriwether and Lorene Scafaria, who between them have worked on films that range from the quirky indie smash hit Juno to the big mainstream Hollywood comedy Couples Retreat. According to Melissa Silverstein, co-founder of the Athena festival, and the woman behind the acclaimed Women and Hollywood blog, the four women’s award will include the words: “For their creativity and their sisterhood.”

It is the word “sisterhood” that is key. The talent possessed by the women is not in doubt. It is their self-conscious decision openly to promote themselves in solidarity with other women that is different in a movie world dominated by men. It also goes against an enduring Hollywood myth: that women let into the Tinseltown boys’ club won’t help each other out. “There is a mythology that women can’t be friends with each other because they have to compete for jobs. We have to get beyond that,” said Silverstein.

The latest Celluloid Ceiling figures for the top 250 US films produced in 2011 have just been released. They make grim reading. Women made up only 5% of Hollywood directors last year, a drop from 7% in 2010. Even as far back as 1998 the figure was 7%.

“That is a kick in the gut,” said Silverstein. But elsewhere progress is hardly fast-track. In total, women made up 18% of behind-the-scenes roles in Hollywood in 2011 – against 16% in 2010. But that, again, is only an increase of one percentage point over 1998. About 38% of films employed one or no women in the senior jobs that the survey studied.

Overwhelmingly, the pattern in Hollywood is not of progress towards greater female empowerment, but of stagnation or even retreat. In this context the huge amounts of publicity given to the work of women like Bigelow and Hardwicke seem like tokenism at best. “People tend to see them as evidence of creeping progress, that things get a little better each year, and so then we don’t need to think of it as a problem,” said Lauzen. “But in reality the numbers are stable. Surprisingly so. And the number of women directors is actually going down.”

But the decision of women in Hollywood to start forming their own networks raises the question of why Hollywood remains so gender-divided. Of course, it is not alone. Numerous commentators in Davos last week at the World Economic Forum have noted the lack of women present as the planet’s major woes are discussed. In fact, at Davos only 17% of delegates are women. Meanwhile, it has been pointed out that about 84% of guests and reporters on BBC Radio 4′s flagship Today programme are men. But at least in some of these areas progress is being made. In Davos the number of women attending, despite being so small, was at its highest yet – up from 9% in 2002.

Hooray for Hollywood?

Meanwhile Hollywood still stands out in its intransigence and – at the high-profile level of director – for going backwards. There is likely to be no easy solution. “I don’t think there is a magic bullet,” said Lauzen, citing Hollywood studio’s testosterone-fuelled corporate culture and it’s “clubbable” atmosphere.

Silverstein agrees: “It is a very small club and there are very few woman decision makers at the top level.”

Both Lauzen and Silverstein believe that true change in the film industry– which lags notably behind television – will mean getting women into more behind-the-scenes roles, especially powerful positions. Of course, that is precisely where the groups like the Fempire and Maven Films will come in. Women have to start projects and help other women along, gradually transforming the world behind the camera so their choices and tastes can eventually affect the world in front of it.

They also have to defeat the idea that women are only good at movies that women are believed likely to watch. After all, Bigelow’s Oscar-winner was a war film and the biggest female-directed hit last year was Kung Fu Panda 2, a family animation feature not aimed at a specific gender market.

Optimism

There are also a few signs of optimism elsewhere in the ecology of Hollywood. While the giant studios that produce and market most of the main Hollywood films are bastions of male dominance, especially the higher up you go, the media that reports on those behemoths is increasingly woman-led. In fact, many of the highest profile Hollywood journalists are women. Queen of the pile is the legendary Nikki Finke, founder and editor of the website Deadline Hollywood. Then there is Sharon Waxman, editor in chief of its rival website The Wrap. Meanwhile, Bonnie Fuller has started the gossip website Hollywood Life. But it’s not just online that women rule the roost. At the Hollywood Reporter – often considered the trade bible of the movie industry — the editorial director is Janice Min. This mini power-shift has itself led to the occasional sexist backlash.

But for now a lack of women in power in Hollywood is still hiding behind the success of a few big names. “You don’t see a lot of overt sexism. But you do see a lot of denial,” said Lauzen. ” End of article

So it’s not just our own dear BBC that is playing down women’s contributions. In fact, I see it everywhere. As an exercise I took a look through through my liberal type newspaper this morning. A good quarter of the paper is devoted to sport but there was not one woman’s sport featured, not even a hint. It was as if women don’t play sport at all… Fortunately this same newspaper managed to find space for some fashion shots of young under weight women wearing unwearable clothes (that’s a contradiction, I know but I’m on a roll here!)

Speak Up

I’ll say it again; wanting women to have a transparently fair opportunity is not about doing men down. It’s about trying to raise awareness of the issues and practices which are so long ingrained that most of us don’t even see it any more. My Speak Up course is emphatically not about putting men down; it’s about putting women up. We’ll be looking at some of the issues for ambitious women in the workplace and, together with the latest research, coming up with strategies which will work for individuals. We can’t change the whole of society but we can make a start!

Full details of the Speak Up one day course for women, at the gorgeous Royal Crescent Hotel are available by clicking here.

Most of the time I resist the impulse to say “So what?”

For the purposes of clarification and so in future I can refer such folk (and it’s men and women equally) to this post, let me explain:

• wanting a fairer representation for women at work
• wanting to see women represented in serous news programmes
• wanting to see more women in senior positions
• wanting businesses to have more women on boards
• running a course for women who want to progress
• coaching women who want to progress in their careers
• wanting to see what women bring to the professional world is valued alongside the attributes of men

does NOT mean that I think women are better than men and infallible.

Women get it wrong sometimes.

Men get it wrong sometimes.

We are different and bring different gifts to the table. I want to see a world where we make space at the table for both and not run things so one half of the population has an advantage.

If you enjoyed this post, do take a look at A Feminist Paradox, and am happy to hear your views too!

Photo Credit: Nextia

It’s a different kind of read to the other two I’ve mentioned being mainly written by Ben, although Karen is a co-author. The premise behind No Diet is that our habits not lack of will power keep us chained to old possibly destructive ways of behaving. Flex takes this further and deeper, suggesting that by changing our habitual way of behaving,  we can tap into our full potential and transform our life.

And this book gives you all the science so excellent for psychology students too!

Here’s an extract from Flex so you can get an idea of style:

Page 104: 40 What Does a Do Something Different Intervention Look Like?

We know that when people keep doing the same things it can make life at best boring and at worst troublesome. But habits also narrow our view. They blind us to the many other options that are available to us. Therefore a Do Something Different programme simply suggests different things to do each day. These switch off a person’s auto pilot and put them back in the driving seat of life. By making small daily disruptions to their everyday life they start to steer it down a different track. There’s no struggle, no gritted teeth to maintain their will power – just a grdual loosening of the habit-web that had a stranglehold on the person.

When a person starts to do something different they:

• expand their world
• break free of their comfort zone
• shake off the habits that held them back
• look at things differently
• open up to new possibilities
• see themselves in a new light
• allow new opportunities into their life and
• have different reflections about themselves

And here’s one example of doing things differently suggested by the authors:

• Shift Your Butt Day: Today don’t sit anywhere that you would normally sit. That’s at the dining table, at work, watching TV, or in a meeting.Triggers for unwanted behaviour often exist in our daily routines and the environment around us. Literally changing where we sit can mean we are not triggered to do what we would normally do in that place.

It’s not an especially light read and if I have one small criticism it’s that it occasionally feels like it veers between being a self help book aimed at individuals and a text book for serious student of psychology. Tabloid to broadsheet in one chapter – but that’s not necessarily a bad thing! The advice is sound and it works. You’ll also find lots of quizzes and self examining questionnaires in its pages which are helpful in understanding oneself and great for those who love them!

Overall I recommend this book to anyone interested in making serious changes, or in helping others make changes. It will have a place in my book list when training and be on my ‘useful resources’ table. Don’t expect to pick it up and dip in; it demands more from you than that but a thorough reading will pay dividends.

Flex. Do Something Different. How to use the other 9/10s of your personality, by Professors Ben (C) Fletcher andKaren Pine, published by University of Herefordshire Press ISBN 978-1-907396-54-0 at £8.99 Available from your library, good bookshops and from the University site

Libby Purvis, a respected and experienced broadcaster wrote about it in the Mail recently. By and large she doesn’t agree with the criticism (although I don’t agree totally with her it’s a good article, click link at end to read it). In brief she says that the Today programme represents the world as it is, more men are in power than women. Implicit is that it’s not the BBC’s role to change attitudes and formulate policy (there’s a thesis waiting to be done on that!)

And therein lies the paradox…..we need more women in power to hear about more women in powerful roles, but the world is ruled by men and until women get into power that won’t change….

Answers on a postcard please, or simply use the comments box below.

Click here to read Libby’s article.

Male sex drive is at the root of most violence in the world; men are shaped by evolution to be aggressive towards ‘outsiders’. The tendency to violence is strengthened by natural selection.

Are Men Really More Violent?

It makes for hard reading. I have a son and husband who are not violent people, far from it. However, I have found myself thinking violent thoughts when one of my own has been threatened or hurt (but I have to say I have never actually hit anyone – just fantasised about it!) And if you’ve ever been in the car when someone cuts my daughter up block up your ears!

Yet the evidence is there and I know it from my work with professional women and my own experience. Generally speaking men are much more aggressive in the workplace than women and this quality is a valued one in business. We women, say the researchers, have evolved to resolve conflicts peacefully (don’t all shout “Margaret Thatcher – Faulklands” at me, she was just one woman, statistically insignificant).

Says Professor van Vugt, “A solution to conflict…remains elusive. One reason for this may be the difficulty we have in changing our mindset which has evolved over thousands of years.”

I have a solution and I’m sure you can guess what it is!

Give women equal billing in the world. Have a more gender balanced approach to power, a true balance, and lets see what happens.

If this is of interest you may also like We Women Do Compete. And do let me know what you think; I love to hear your views.

Photo Credit: Kriss Szkurlatowski