Are you in the right job? Hopefully yes, but don’t despair if not. The best learning can come from finding out what you like and don’t like. We all have to do a bit of time in a role we don’t much care for. The trick is to know why and not stay too long so that your confidence gets zapped. This is the second post in my ‘mini series’ of Are You in the Right Job? and I want to pick up on the analogy I made in post one about jobs being like relationships.
If you’ve been reading my posts for a while you’ll know that my great passion is women’s confidence. I am fascinated by the fact that so many talented and clever women seem to lack confidence at work. Still the surveys continue pour in telling us that. I have mixed views on those. I hate the ones which have a subtext of ‘it’s all women’s fault, simply step up and be bold‘, for which I read ‘behave like men and all will be all well‘. It’s a fine line. I want the traits that women bring to the table to be recognised and acknowledged but our systems are very male oriented and it’s a struggle. We have to work with what we’ve got.
Back to that relationship analogy. In a good relationship you feel able to be yourself. You think and care about the other person but you are also able to be your best self, most of the time. You thrive.
When a relationship goes wrong you cease to thrive. Sometimes it takes us a long time to recognise, and then acknowledge, that what attracted us to each other in the first place is no longer valid. It can be a slow process of things just not feeling right. If we struggle on trying to pretend, or stay for fear of the alternative, or even of being on our own, we gradually diminish. Worst case scenario, our confidence erodes and we think that even if we wanted to go no on else would want us. Sometimes we stay because w think better a bad relationship than being on our own.
I think that same process can happen at work. A job which once met all of our requirements no longer does but we take a while to notice. Maybe we keep giving but feel we’re not getting much back in return. Businesses and organisations change and maybe our values are no longer aligned. A job which doesn’t enhance you erodes your confidence in your abilities. That is dangerous for your career development. Lack of confidence can keep you where it’s no longer good for you to be.
So this is my coaching question to you today:
Does your job feel like being in a relationship with the right person? Not always perfect, but most of the time you feel good about yourself and the work you do?
You might also like to listen to this free visualisation, written to accompany When Work Isn’t Working. It works well whether you’ve read the book or not.
If you are a coach or trainer with an interest in women’s personal development, please do check out our licensing scheme. Then give me a call for an informal chat.
The photo is courtesy of The Telegraph newspaper and is of women working in coal mines during the Second World War.
Posted on February 22nd, 2017 by Jane