Blame. I’ve been cogitating it on its usefulness quite a bit this week having had something tricky to sort out. It’s a natural human reaction (even though I’ve illustrated it with a cat…); something goes wrong so we look for someone to blame.
Definition of blame:
1. responsibility for something that is wrong or deserving censure; culpability
2. an expression of condemnation; reproof to blame to be at fault or culpable
1. (usually followed by for) to attribute responsibility to; accuse ‘I blame him for the failure’
2. (usually followed by on) to ascribe responsibility for (something) to ‘I blame the failure on him’
3. to find fault with
There may be times in your life when it’s appropriate to seek a culprit, in legal matters perhaps when we need to bring someone to justice and to stop further ills.
Most of the time, however, we tend towards a knee jerk reaction to events that happen to us. Someone must responsible. And if we can’t make an individual responsible we make events or whole group of people responsible. I’ve done it and I’m pretty sure you’ve done it. It absolves us from responsibility and it can be quite comforting “Not MY fault“. Therefore I can’t be expected to do anything.
That way victim-hood lies. We can get stuck in a place unhelpful to us and our personal development.
Sometimes when we find ourselves in a pickle, or affected by a change outwith our control we have to say to ourselves: this matters to me more than anyone else. It’s a mess, it needs fixing, looking for someone to blame is unproductive and sapping my energy.
Sometimes you have to stop looking to blame someone, take responsibility and just get things sorted.
In your life who do you find yourself reflexively blaming, and how might it benefit you to stop?
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Posted on February 15th, 2013 by Jane