Are you aware just how much personal power you have? I’m not talking about authority you have over other people because of status or wealth, or physical strength, but your inner command of yourself. How you actually feel, regardless of external trappings.
When I am working one to one with people who are experiencing difficulties with colleagues, the issue of personal power is often key in understanding and dealing with the problem. Ask yourself:
“Why are you giving away your power? Why are you letting ‘them’ have this degree of power over you?” (Obviously there are multitude of reasons for that which is why we’re talking in the first place!) Try to fully understand the situation you find yourself in from all angles.
Personal power is a funny thing. You experience a sense of power when you feel in control of your life yet can feel really powerless even if you’re the top woman in your organisation. Feeling powerful helps you achieve your goals. Projecting personal power appropriately helps you influence others. It’s worth paying attention to it consciously.
Communication is Powerful
Considerable power comes from the ability to communicate really well; think about some of the great orators of our time (and if you’ve seen the film, The King’ s Speech, you’ll appreciate how our influential our upbringing can be, regardless of wealth or status).
People who are in control of their personal power don’t play the blame game much. Once you start blaming, or attributing consequences for you to someone else, you are effectively giving away your power. This commonly translates as:
“They make me feel….”
Stop right there. No one can make you feel anything. It’s the one area you have control. ‘They‘ may wish to make you feel small, insignificant etc but you can choose not to let them sap your personal power in this way. In the free world we all make choices about what we do, where we live, (within reason), who are our friends, what books we read, etc. Once we start allowing other people to control our feelings we are giving away power.
Choose Energy & Optimism
Power includes enthusiasm and optimism and power is related to self-esteem and confidence. So it follows that if you give it away your energy and confidence gets zapped too. And that’s a hard place to recover from. If you find yourself in that position, just ask yourself: “How much will I let this person/situation into my inner personal me. OK, I have to work here,( at the moment), I have to put up with cuts in service, changes in practise, changes in personnel. Or I may choose to stay in this relationship right now for various reasons, but deep within me I can remain intact”.
Become aware of the impact of other people on you, communicate with them assertively but respectfully and keep hold of your personal power!
Posted on February 3rd, 2011 by Jane