Naked? How Do You Feel About That?

One of my favourite quotes is this one from Eleanor Rooselevelt:

‘No one can make you feel inferior without your own consent’.

Manage Your Feelings

In fact, no one can MAKE you feel anything, good or bad! We feel the way we do because of the unique people we are and we do have some choice over our feelings.

So back to naked…. This is a wee story I use to illustrate the point when working with groups.

A naked person of the gender you find most attractive runs into the room, right now. He/she runs around the room, shaking their booty at all of us assembled, and then they run out of the room (you have to imagine my graphic representation of this, but fully clothed!), slamming the door shut.

We all sit there in stunned silence, until someone laughs, then someone tuts, and quietly someone cries. We have all experienced the same event at the same time in the same place, yet for however many of us are sat in that room there will be an equal number of reactions and FEELINGS to the event.

Because of who we are and the experiences we have had in life to date, we all feel differently about what has happened.

Criticism

So next time you have to assert yourself with someone or give feed back to someone, remember the story. ‘They’ don’t make you feel anything. Something they DO causes YOU to have your own feelings about it. So own that fact. ‘When you do so and so, I FEEL….’ Not ‘YOU make me feel angry’.

If you’re specific about the actual behaviour you don’t rubbish the person as a whole; you then stand a good chance of getting the outcome you want and preserving the relationship. No one can argue with what you feel! And no one can MAKE you feel anything!

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Posted on September 9th, 2010 by

4 Responses to “Naked? How Do You Feel About That?”

  1. What a metaphor … painted perfectly and I’m sitting here wondering which my reaction would be!

  2. Perfect! Jane! I will keep that vision in my mind for the reminder of my life! 🙂 Will never blame another person for another feeling ~ keep ’em coming!

    • Jane says:

      Don’t you just love the wisdom that comes with getting older! I hope I never stop learning and doing new things. Keep up the good work for us chronologically advantaged folk, Dorothy!

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