Will You Keep Your New Year Resolutions?

It’s a good game, isn’t it – making massive resolutions in January so you can have guilt pangs about not sticking with them all through February! We’re probably all triumphs of hope over experience when it comes to making New Year resolutions.

Richard Wiseman, a UK psychologist, undertook some research into new year resolutions; his team tracked over 3,000 people attempting to do a whole range of things, like losing weight, using the gym, quitting smoking or drinking less.

Men and Women ARE Different

Perhaps unsurprisingly to all of us who have not managed to keep our resolutions going past Valentine’s Day, they concluded that New Year’s Eve is not a great time for making resolutions, and that you have more chance of success if you plan ahead for the changes you want to make.

They also found some interesting gender differences in achieving success. For men, the secret of success lies in setting specific goals and focusing on the rewards you will get if you achieve them. For women, the best way to keep a resolution is to tell people about it. At the start of the project 52% of the participants were confident of success but Dr Wiseman found that only 12% actually kept to their new year resolutions…

Men

Men were 22% more likely to succeed when they set goals for themselves, such as losing a pound a week rather than losing weight in general. In addition, men tended to succeed when they focused on rewards, such as losing weight to become more attractive to the opposite sex. “Men may be more likely to adopt a macho attitude and have unrealistic expectations, and so simple goal setting helps them achieve more,” said Dr. Wiseman.

Women

Women were more successful at keeping their resolutions when they told family and friends about their plans. They also responded better to encouragement not to give up if they snuck back to old habits temporarily – such as treating a chocolate binge as simply one minor setback and not a total failure. Telling others increased women’s chance of keeping resolutions by 10%, although sometimes they were reluctant to do so, losing a valuable source of support. (See this article about the importance of  women’s friendships)

Most Likely to Succeed

The researchers found that the resolutions most likely to succeed were:
Enjoy life more, (32% of people stayed with it)
Improve your fitness (29%)
Lose weight (28%)
Be more organised (27%)
Quit or cut down drinking (25%)
Quit or cut down smoking (24%)

What’s your most frequently made resolution?

You can read more about this in The Luck Factor by Dr Richard Wiseman available from your local library, book shop, or via Amazon

Your Special Offer for January 2011! Be Fabulous All Year!

Dr Richard Wiseman has researched how likely we are to keep our New Year resolutions. Did you know that women can increase their chances of success by telling other people and gaining support and encouragement from them!

But he also found that women were often reluctant to ask for this help, cutting off this source of support. Which is understandable; we don’t always want to share our innermost thoughts and aspirations with people we see every day, it can feel too personal. Which is why working in total confidence with a professional can be so successful in helping you achieve your ambitions for 2011.

January Special Coaching Offer!

Throughout the first month of 2011 I am offering everyone who signs up for my  coaching session a really great deal! If you sign up for my introductory package during January, you will receive an extra session of one hour’s coaching absolutely free! At an agreed time after our first call, (when we will have discussed strategies for your maximum success) I will contact you to see how you are progressing, and to inspire and motivate you to continue!

Make this year the one when you do achieve your resolutions and live life to the full! Sign up now!

No 3 – You Can Be Fabulous in 2011!

Even if you don’t make formal New Year resolutions you are probably still thinking about the year ahead and how you’d like it to be- if only because people like me keep talking at you about making resolutions!

It’s in the zeitgeist isn’t it? I’m not necessarily a great fan of having a set of formal resolutions you make in January to feel guilty about in February (!) but I do know that having a reasonably clear idea of where you want to be is half way to arriving there successfully! And the end of one year and the start of another is as good a time as any to reflect.

Dare to Dream

So, even if you are not in resolution making mode, this could still be a good exercise to try:

• Take 10 minutes to yourself, somewhere quiet
• Make yourself comfortable and relaxed
• Close your eyes and just notice how you are breathing
• Notice the rise and fall of each breath for about 10 breaths, this will probably gently slow your breathing
• Think yourself ahead 12 months, imagine you in 12 months time
• Ask yourself the following: What do I look like? What do I feel like? What have I done that has made me feel proud, or satisfied, or fulfilled?

What, if anything, do you need to do in the next 12 months to be fabulous in 2011!

No 2. You Can Be Fabulous in 2011!

Making significant change in our life is not always easy.

I’ve just been for a walk around the village I’ve lived in for over 30 years. Years ago a whole new development was added changing many of the footpaths. As I was walking today I found myself trying to take a defunct footpath. It hasn’t been there since my son was in a pushchair (he’s now 24!) yet my brain had that old pathway stored away and, because I wasn’t concentrating, led me up it!

And that’s what can happen to us with our new year resolutions. We want to make a change and all is well initially. But then we drop our focus for a moment, the work piles in, we get busy, or bored, or miserable and suddenly we’re back on an old pathway!

How Do YOU keep on Track?

What would work for you to keep you on track? It’s worth spending a little time anticipating that inevitable drop in enthusiasm and doing what you can now to keep your self focussed on success.

For example, if you use a paper diary, write an encouraging note to yourself for a month’s time. Or a pop up message on your mobile phone, or electronic diary. Or negotiate with a friend to help you; give them permission to remind you of your resolve! Perhaps you need to plan in a reward for yourself at an appropriate stage in proceedings? Or even take some professional advice and support?

You know best what works for you, so try and plan that in to give yourself the best chance of success and achieving your resolutions for 2011! And if you haven’t done so already, you could sign up now for my newsletter, which is packed full of inspiration and helpful tips to help you be fabulous in 2011!!

No 1 You Can Be Fabulous in 2011!

Welcome to the first in a series of tips for being fabulous in 2011! You are probably already more fabulous than you realise (check this out); but as the old year draws to a close I suspect you may end up berating yourself for all the things you didn’t do in 2010, or didn’t do as well as as you wanted.

Review Your Year – Positively!

When I’m running my personal development courses for women there is one thing all are universally good at – listing their faults and telling me what they can’t do! Faced with the question, “tell me what your strengths are” the room falls uncharacteristically quiet…

And so when you review your year, with the aim of setting yourself some goals and resolutions for 2011 try and resist the urge to focus on what didn’t work. Don’t waste your energies on negative stuff. Instead, take five minutes now to think about what DID work well for you in 2010 and plan to do more of that!

List all your successes in 2010, small, large, and medium! Think across all areas of your life: love, home, friendships, hobbies, education, personal development and career. And remember, it’s your definition of success that counts!

Only when you have done that can you begin to think about your new year resolutions for 2011!

There is a longer exercise to try here.

In Gratitude

When I first ventured out into the world of  self employment (many years ago now) from the relatively safe haven of NHS/local government, I had a hazy kind of  idea  that the world of business would be full of sharks and charlatans, just waiting to trip me up and capitalise on my ignorance!

I am very happy to admit that I was wrong, very wrong. Instead I have been blessed to have worked with some amazing people, people who are generous, caring and thoughtful and to whom I am very grateful.

Personal Challenges

On the personal front I’ve had a ‘challenging’ year; (professionally it’s been all good, thankfully, or I may have gone bonkers!) On my birthday at the end of October I invited some of my dearest friends and family to share it with me, and to thank them for the support and love they had shown me throughout the year.

However, there have been many of my professional colleagues, most of whom I have never actually met, who have also offered me great support and friendship. As the year draws to a close, I’d like to thank them publicly for their help and many kindnesses in 2010, and also introduce them to you.

Unsurprisingly, most are women, but a couple of special chaps get a mention too!

Supportive Women

First, thanks to all my inspirational women who, as well as inspiring me, have freely given of their time and advice, put up with editing and additional questions and badgering for photos etc!  All of them have been wonderful, but if I may I’d like to give special mention to Sarah Beeny and Maggie Philbin. They are both women with busy and successful careers in the media and I rather expected my request for interviews to be turned down. I was wrong again! Maggie and Sarah were charming, gracious, incredibly helpful and kind. My thanks to them and I wish them much success in 2011.

American Supporters

Across the Atlantic I have some rather special friends too. Yana Berlin is the person behind Fabulously40.com, a social networking site for women over 40. Her encouragement and enthusiasm is boundless and she has been a real friend in promoting my book to her readership, and generally being a good mate. We did actually get to meet, albeit fleetingly, in a London hotel and her energy is most impressive! More power to your elbow, Yana!

And while on the subject of the book, another as yet unmet American friend has been exceedingly generous in that respect. Julie Walraven epitomises American generosity of spirit and I recommend her to you! She runs Design Resumes and I am sure her clients love her! She is always ready to do a good turn if she can and a great ambassador for her country. I salute you, Julie!

Back this side of the ocean, Sarah Pennells has been a great source of advice and inspiration. I have actually met Sarah, at the Everywoman conference last month and she was every bit as delightful in person as in Twitter land. She dispenses great financial advice to women through her company Savvy Woman and she has given me some helpful insights on several occasions. Thanks Sarah! She’s also one of my Inspirational Women.

Twitter

Twitter is a strange phenomenon but I have learned that it is possible to make good relationships. Among the many on twitter who have been incredibly kind and supportive re my professional life are:

The successful novelist  Sara Sheridan – do read her books, wonderful stuff, and who has been most generous with her time. Sara, you are great and i wish i could write like you!

An amazing business woman, Hannah Coleman who runs Dreamwalls, a wall business…yes, I did say walls! Thanks, Hannah!

Ann Lewis, a coach on the Isle of Wight who is quite simply a good woman. Thanks Ann, for all the support.

Dorothy Sanders, is another American friend who is dedicated to the cause of empowering women over 50 ( a topic close to my heart) and has also been very generous to me this year. Thank you!

There are many others but I know they would not wish to be named here so to them my thanks.

The Men in My Life (professionally speaking)

It pains me to say that I really do conform to female stereotype here! I am less than wonderful with both marketing and technology and took professional advice and support in these areas early on in my self employed career.

Coming from a public sector background I was really green when it came to marketing but I was lucky enough to encounter Jim Connolly who has guided me with extraordinary skill! He has taught me more that I ever believed was possible about social media and marketing; I’d like to thank him here for his kindness and support, and for still watching out for the gloopers I commit from time to time! Thanks James, you are much appreciated.

And on the technical side, Mark White is a very patient man! He helps me keep this site running and answers all my questions promptly and with a wry humour. I am forever asking him to try this out, or how would it look if…. True, he sometimes sighs a lot, but he does it all with good grace and never talks down to me! Thank you, Mark!

Thanks to You!

And finally, my sincere thanks to all of you. So many of you have made contact with me, either through the blog, the newsletter, or in person at events. I truly love to hear from you; it makes the world seem a very small place. And when you tell me that something I have written helps you, or that attending one of my courses has helped change your life for the better, I am both humbled and thrilled. Thank you.

I wish you all success in 2011. I wish you good health, and joy in your life. And thank you again for your support in 2010.

Jane